This has been one hell of a tough year. After the death of the one person who supported and loved me, I lost... first and foremost, myself. My state hasn't been linear. I kept switching psychiatrists. I kept clinging to the hope that a new treatment plan would bring me back to life, only to have my hopes shattered, again and again. I would have brief moments of clarity, write here in my journals that I was starting to draw again and trying to do things, but in truth, every time I promised that, I was lying to myself. And after briefly returning to life, I'd find myself back in the same swamp of apathy and loss of will.

I am incredibly ashamed of the delays with commissions. And over this year, just to stay afloat, I've accumulated a mountain of debt and owe money to the bank.

But you know... A spark of hope still glimmers in me. I believe I will pull through. I believe I can.

And it is only thanks to your support and the endless patience of my commissioners that I am still breathing and have the motivation to try. To try and climb out of this hole.

Thank you so much, my dears. And Happy New Year 🖤