This depicts a concept that I created, which is called "koanthymia." To get a feel for the magnitude of what it means, imagine knowing the most beautiful thing in the world. Imagine how great the desire would be to share it. It's all you want to do.

Now, when you turn to your friend to share it, it vanishes. This thing you have doesn't exist in conventional languages. When you try to convert it into normal language, you cannot pinpoint it... you may even forget it altogether, for a short time.

And then, you become depressed. The ONE thing you wanted to share with people the most is forever locked inside somewhere. That is what koanthymia is.

Broken down, it is koan + -thymia. A koan is roughly an unsolvable or unexplainable paradox. -thymia = state of mind. It means "a state of mind where concepts and emotions are unexplainable."

I have this, and it sucks. Music is giving me a new opportunity to share myself, but it isn't as efficient as I'd like it to be. I am a therian as well, and the two concepts are very interwoven in my personality, so I combined the two... I now identify as a "koantherian." And I combine them because the typical way therians are right now doesn't come close to what I am.

Hopefully music will allow me to say what I have been waiting to all this time.