It's ironic, how I fear death, not my own but of others, even those who I never knew. I went to funeral in Appalachia with my brother for an emt who recently passed that was on the squad my brother used to belong to. He looked peaceful as he lay in his casket. I hugged his mother of my own volition, and I held her tightly as if she was my own mother. She told me she lived in a nursing home and had noone. I don't live over in apalachia so I told the church nearby to visit her. Its kinda funny cause I think the deceased and I could have been friends had he not departed so soon. One of the most poingant things about the funeral was dispatch using his unit name for the last call. I wish I had recorded it. Ah but I'm only twenty. There will be more and more death to come, so I gotta get used to it.