On the upside, you are now too old to have a midlife crisis.

I can still give it a try

Welcome to being "the old". :P

It's more comfortable than I thought it would be.

I got my first 20% Thursday Discount (and yes, I know where you brought this receipt home from) two years ago, when I was 44- 46 now, 47 at the end of this year- and initially I was confused, then happy that I had a pleasant, temporarily unidentified discount, then realized what day of the week it was and when I got home I was furious; aside from saving a bit of money, which again was not unwelcome.

I wasn't upset because it implied I looked like I was 65 or past that- I guess depending on who's looking, if they know me personally or not and how burnt out the stress I've been under makes me look a little wizened, coupled with the fact that I'm 7'6" and easily outsize Homme's Friendly Giant- it was that suddenly I had a new label I didn't choose and didn't fucking want strapped on because of a cashpoint decision, when I've barely got my head on straight about the identity I do want to bear.

Now, I made sure to calm myself down- the discounted 6 x 710ml Pepsi that usually isn't this cheap when it's not over the weekend helped- and considered what my Dad (who he told me had the very same thing happen to him, though what store I don't know by precis as he was 69 when he died in 2006, forty years my senior) did when it came up: Put the emotion to one side once I can do it under manual control and think it through.

First off, I was and am not at all angry with the cashier; a lot of the folks I've known at this particular druggist-grocery have since gone to work elsewhere but she is a very good friend, has known me and worked at this location for the more than 20 years it's been open and she's one of the best human beings I've ever met.

She meant no harm by it and frankly the important thing to her was that it'd save me some money, and it worked into the system without even bending the rules, much less breaking them. I was still upset that it'd happened but when I put it in those terms it didn't bother me at all. So I decided it'd be one more kindness I'd find a way to pay forward, and I not infrequently do soon after that.

I did have a talk with the franchise operator, not unkindly but impressed that it really hurt my heart and my self-confidence to all but have the label of being an 'old man' (65 years old) plopped on me when I wasn't even 45 yet; I was 44 as it was well before my birthday that year. I did appreciate the kindness of the windfall, and I said that was important me, not to mention a help to my budget.

There was no buttkissing, no genuflecting, nor did I expect any (though it can happen, to be fair) and she said instead, '[Twopaw], you're the first person I've ever met who stated your limits but also understood why from both sides. People like you are why this world hasn't given up hope; despite everything you've told me has happened in your past you make a point of giving a thumbs up without taking the wheel out of the hands of anyone."

"You are not a disruptor, though I know how sorely tempting it's been. You are a constructor, an Engineer, like your Dad. If it happens again and you aren't comfortable, just let them know and they'll have it in their authority to defer it; I'd been pushing it because Corp had ridden my butt about it and I knew it was wrong. This happened to my father more than once and his response was almost identical to yours."

"Thank you for the gift of taking it up with me the way you did. I'll do better from now on."

I still haven't felt the hurt go away, not entirely. Trust issues like mine and the exascerbant trauma they cause when they're into the red and peaking constantly as they've been the last two years or so and to a degree, all my life don't antiresolve. They never really go away, in the worst case scenario they become part of your bias process and you don't fight who you become, and that's the scariest thing about it; you're okay with being a little more monstrous, weaponized by inches.

I don't hate being human. I just want to stop feeling like a human for long enough to get past what's inside of me, clean up the mansions inside my mind and then come back to myself when my head's on straight. I don't want to be a moral monster but that's what's happened.

But I can live with this. I can live with this.

Then again, why should be the burden be mine alone? Just do better, think first. That's all I ask of you, or anyone. Don't take my agency away and presume it's a gift when I didn't ask for it in the first place, then be surprised when the end of the world is staring you down in tears, knowing the confirmation bias of her work is reinforced.

-2Paw.

I believe with this particular retailer the senior discount kicks in at 55, and I am 54.

Years ago, I worked at a Nursery (plants) and was told, "Don't ask. If they look like they qualify for the discount, just give it to them." So, it could be a policy thing.

That's about what I thought, mostly the latter (a courtesy in microform and potential macro-breadth greased-palm goodwill for the company over time) and per the former, did not know a year or two back what the cutoff age is presently, so that's fair. I presumed it was 65+ but I wouldn't presume it's starkly adherent to the legal age bracket set down in Federal law. I believe it's called specifically the Senior's 20% Thursday Discount so prior to that I assumed it was 65 and older, though it could be applied per on-the-spot druthers and autonomy of the employee in question, as you said.

The owner understood completely why it put me on edge and I was upset more by the implication of my advanced age than the surprise discount and had we not known each other for a while and been myself a customer for more than twenty years she would not have misunderstood why. I think it may have happened 3 or 4 times since then- the discount applied by abrogate- but I suppose I was comfortable that there was both an understanding between myself and the franchise owner and by no means was there any unkindness meant by the cashier.

I still don't like it, T-Coug. I understand it's meant well but a gift should be a gift only if it's given and in receipt taken likewise. Other than that it might only be burdening or an onus that I'd feel worse for the refusal, and I have little doubt when I approached the franchise owner she both honestly empathized with me, sympathized per how I'd felt and understood why I'd spoken to her about it a few days later, not right after it happened. And the mechanic of the carrot and stick was clear to us both.

Still, I trust you got yourself an armload or two of groceries you wanted to get and saved a pleasant pawful of Provincial pence doing so, just as I have in the past, and I'm as chuffed for you as well, good coog.

By the way, you've got some really science-fictiony regional township names local to your home, after looking your community up. I like!

-2Paw.

If I ever somehow become a DJ, I'd have to consider T-Coug, if I hadn't already come up with DJ Def Tef.

As for my senior moment, I like to say "Age is a state of mind and since I'm out of my mind, it just doesn't matter."

I'm more bothered by the gang of teenagers who held the door at the mall and called me "sir."

Shoppers drug and Rexall both give me senior discounts now. Tuesday is shopping day!