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tombelltombell
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Merge branch 'master' into help-update
2 parents c7a4185 + a87798a commit 9b6ec36

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6 files changed

+170
-30
lines changed

‎.gitignore

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node_modules
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npm-debug.log
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.DS_Store*
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.DS_Store*
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.idea
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‎src/scripts/beerme.coffee

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# Beer Me
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#
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# beer me - Grab me a beer
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#
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beers = [
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"http://organicxbenefits.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/organic-beer-health-benefits.jpg",
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"http://www.beer100.com/images/beermug.jpg",
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"http://www.joyandfood.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Beer-beer.jpg",
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"http://www.bristolvantage.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/beer-calories1.jpg",
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"http://cdn.biruwananbai.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/more_beer-01.jpg",
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"http://blog.collegebars.net/uploads/10-beers-you-must-drink-this-summer/10-beers-you-must-drink-this-summer-sam-adams-summer-ale.jpg"
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"http://media.treehugger.com/assets/images/2011/10/save-the-beers.jpg",
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"http://poemsforkush.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/beer.jpg",
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"http://www.wirtzbeveragegroup.com/wirtzbeveragenevada/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Beer.jpg",
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"http://www.walyou.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/giant-beer-glass-fathers-day-beer-gadgets-2010.jpg",
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"http://images.free-extras.com/pics/f/free_beer-911.jpg",
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"http://images.seroundtable.com/android-beer-dispenser-1335181876.jpg",
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"http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlDC/files/original/beer-will-change-the-world.jpg",
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"http://dribbble.s3.amazonaws.com/users/79978/screenshots/594281/attachments/47191/more.png",
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"http://www.gqindia.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/article-inner-image-341-354/article/slideshow/1289/beer.JPG",
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"http://www.gqindia.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/article-inner-image-341-354/article/slideshow/1289/beer2.jpg",
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"http://www.gqindia.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/article-inner-image-341-354/article/slideshow/1289/Beer3.jpg"
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]
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module.exports = (robot) ->
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robot.hear /.*(beer me).*/i, (msg) ->
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msg.send msg.random beers

‎src/scripts/janky.coffee

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@@ -77,8 +77,9 @@ module.exports = (robot) ->
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app = msg.match[1]
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branch = msg.match[3] || "master"
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room_id = msg.message.user.room
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user = msg.message.user.name
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post "#{app}/#{branch}?room_id=#{room_id}", {}, (err, statusCode, body) ->
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post "#{app}/#{branch}?room_id=#{room_id}&user=#{user}", {}, (err, statusCode, body) ->
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if statusCode == 201 or statusCode == 404
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response = body
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else

‎src/scripts/meme_captain.coffee

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# Get a meme from http://memecaptain.com/
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#
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# hubot Y U NO <text> - Generates the Y U NO GUY with the bottom caption of <text>
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#
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# hubot I don't always <something> but when i do <text> - Generates The Most Interesting man in the World
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#
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# hubot <text> (SUCCESS|NAILED IT) - Generates success kid with the top caption of <text>
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#
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# hubot <text> ALL the <things> - Generates ALL THE THINGS
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#
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# hubot <text> TOO DAMN <high> - Generates THE RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH guy
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#
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# hubot Not sure if <text> or <text> - Generates Futurama Fry
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#
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# hubot Yo dawg <text> so <text> - Generates Yo Dawg
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#
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# hubot ALL YOUR <text> ARE BELONG TO US - Generates Zero Wing with the caption of <text>
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#
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# hubot If <text>, <word that can start a question> <text>? - Generates Philosoraptor
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#
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# hubot <text>, BITCH PLEASE <text> - Generates Yao Ming
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#
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# hubot <text>, COURAGE <text> - Generates Courage Wolf
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#
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# hubot ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY <text> - Generates Boromir
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#
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# hubot IF YOU <text> GONNA HAVE A BAD TIME - Ski Instructor
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#
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# hubot IF YOU <text> TROLLFACE <text> - Troll Face
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module.exports = (robot) ->
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robot.respond /Y U NO (.+)/i, (msg) ->
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memeGenerator msg, 'y_u_no.jpg', 'Y U NO', msg.match[1], (url) ->
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msg.send url
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robot.respond /(.*) (ALL the .*)/i, (msg) ->
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memeGenerator msg, 'all_the_things.jpg', msg.match[1], msg.match[2], (url) ->
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msg.send url
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robot.respond /(I DON'?T ALWAYS .*) (BUT WHEN I DO,? .*)/i, (msg) ->
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memeGenerator msg, 'most_interesting.jpg', msg.match[1], msg.match[2], (url) ->
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msg.send url
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robot.respond /(.*)(SUCCESS|NAILED IT.*)/i, (msg) ->
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memeGenerator msg, 'success_kid.jpg', msg.match[1], msg.match[2], (url) ->
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msg.send url
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robot.respond /(.*) (\w+\sTOO DAMN .*)/i, (msg) ->
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memeGenerator msg, 'too_damn_high.jpg', msg.match[1], msg.match[2], (url) ->
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msg.send url
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robot.respond /(NOT SURE IF .*) (OR .*)/i, (msg) ->
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memeGenerator msg, 'fry.png', msg.match[1], msg.match[2], (url) ->
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msg.send url
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robot.respond /(YO DAWG .*) (SO .*)/i, (msg) ->
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memeGenerator msg, 'xzibit.jpg', msg.match[1], msg.match[2], (url) ->
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msg.send url
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robot.respond /(.*)\s*BITCH PLEASE\s*(.*)/i, (msg) ->
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memeGenerator msg, 'yao_ming.jpg', msg.match[1], msg.match[2], (url) ->
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msg.send url
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robot.respond /(.*)\s*COURAGE\s*(.*)/i, (msg) ->
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memeGenerator msg, 'courage_wolf.jpg', msg.match[1], msg.match[2], (url) ->
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msg.send url
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robot.respond /ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY (.*)/i, (msg) ->
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memeGenerator msg, 'boromir.jpg', 'ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY', msg.match[1], (url) ->
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msg.send url
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robot.respond /(IF YOU .*\s)(.* GONNA HAVE A BAD TIME)/i, (msg) ->
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memeGenerator msg, 'bad_time.jpg', msg.match[1], msg.match[2], (url) ->
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msg.send url
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robot.respond /(.*)TROLLFACE(.*)/i, (msg) ->
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memeGenerator msg, 'troll_face.jpg', msg.match[1], msg.match[2], (url) ->
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msg.send url
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robot.respond /(IF .*), ((ARE|CAN|DO|DOES|HOW|IS|MAY|MIGHT|SHOULD|THEN|WHAT|WHEN|WHERE|WHICH|WHO|WHY|WILL|WON\'T|WOULD)[ \'N].*)/i, (msg) ->
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memeGenerator msg, 'philosoraptor.jpg', msg.match[1], msg.match[2] + (if msg.match[2].search(/\?$/)==(-1) then '?' else ''), (url) ->
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msg.send url
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memeGenerator = (msg, imageName, text1, text2, callback) ->
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imageUrl = "http://memecaptain.com/" + imageName
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msg.http("http://memecaptain.com/g")
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.query(
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u: imageUrl,
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t1: text1,
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t2: text2
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).get() (err, res, body) ->
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return msg.send err if err
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result = JSON.parse(body)
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if result? and result['imageUrl']?
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callback result['imageUrl']
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else
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msg.reply "Sorry, I couldn't generate that meme."
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‎src/scripts/meme_generator.coffee

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# hubot Yo dawg <text> so <text> - Generates Yo Dawg
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# hubot ALL YOUR <text> ARE BELONG TO US - Generates Zero Wing with the caption of <text>
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# hubot if <text>, <word that can start a question> <text>? - Generates Philosoraptor
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# hubot <text> FUCK YOU - Angry Linus
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#
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# Author:
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# skalnik
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msg.send url
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robot.respond /(GOOD NEWS EVERYONE[,.!]?) (.*)/i, (msg) ->
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memeGenerator msg, 79, 108785, msg.match[1], msg.match[2], (url) ->
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memeGenerator msg, 1591, 112464, msg.match[1], msg.match[2], (url) ->
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msg.send url
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robot.respond /khanify (.*)/i, (msg) ->
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memeGenerator msg, 17, 984, msg.match[1], msg.match[2] + (if msg.match[2].search(/\?$/)==(-1) then '?' else ''), (url) ->
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msg.send url
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81+
robot.respond /(.*) FUCK YOU/i, (msg) ->
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memeGenerator msg, 1189472, 5044147, msg.match[1], 'FUCK YOU', (url) ->
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msg.send url
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memeGenerator = (msg, generatorID, imageID, text0, text1, callback) ->
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username = process.env.HUBOT_MEMEGEN_USERNAME
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password = process.env.HUBOT_MEMEGEN_PASSWORD

‎src/scripts/yoda-quotes.coffee

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# Author:
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# vquaiato
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quotes = [
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"Agree with you, the council does. Your apprentice, Skywalker will be.",
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"Always two there are, no more, no less: a master and an apprentice.",
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"Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you.",
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"Qui-Gon's defiance I sense in you.",
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"Truly wonderful the mind of a child is.",
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"Around the survivors a perimeter create.",
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"Lost a planet Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing. how embarrassing.",
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"Victory, you say? Master Obi-Wan, not victory. The shroud of the Dark Side has fallen. Begun the Clone War has.",
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"Much to learn you still have...my old padawan... This is just the beginning!",
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"Twisted by the Dark Side young Skywalker has become.",
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"The boy you trained, gone he is, consumed by Darth Vader.",
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"The fear of loss is a path to the Dark Side.",
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"If into the security recordings you go, only pain will you find.",
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"Not if anything to say about it I have.",
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"Great warrior, hmm? Wars not make one great.",
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"Do or do not; there is no try.",
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"Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?",
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"That is why you fail.",
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"No! No different. Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned.",
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"Always in motion the future is.",
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"Reckless he is. Matters are worse.",
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"When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good, you will not.",
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"No. There is... another... Sky... walker..."
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]
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module.exports = (robot) ->
17-
robot.hear /^yoda quote$/i, (msg) ->
18-
quotes = ["Agree with you, the council does. Your apprentice, Skywalker will be.",
19-
"Always two there are, no more, no less: a master and an apprentice.",
20-
"Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you.",
21-
"Qui-Gon's defiance I sense in you.",
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"Truly wonderful the mind of a child is.",
23-
"Around the survivors a perimeter create.",
24-
"Lost a planet Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing … how embarrassing.",
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"Victory, you say? Master Obi-Wan, not victory. The shroud of the Dark Side has fallen. Begun the Clone War has.",
26-
"Much to learn you still have...my old padawan... This is just the beginning!",
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"Twisted by the Dark Side young Skywalker has become.",
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"The boy you trained, gone he is, consumed by Darth Vader.",
29-
"Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed that is. Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.",
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"The fear of loss is a path to the Dark Side.",
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"If into the security recordings you go, only pain will you find.",
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"Not if anything to say about it I have.",
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"Great warrior, hmm? Wars not make one great.",
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"Do or do not; there is no try.",
35-
"Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?",
36-
"That is why you fail.",
37-
"No! No different. Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned.",
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"Always in motion the future is.",
39-
"Reckless he is. Matters are worse.",
40-
"When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good, you will not.",
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"No. There is... another... Sky... walker..."]
42-
msg.send msg.random quotes
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43+
robot.hear /.*(yoda quote).*/i, (msg) ->
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msg.send msg.random quotes
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