im not one to make a vent journal but in a way it is now im kinda wanna vent

so a long while ago i was talking with someone discussing about a new commission idea...after this was done i noted how this guy was interacting with me less and less
anytime i tried to talk to them afterward my chat was spammed over by 3 particular people who try to do anything they can to just "Remove" someone because i already had arguements with those 3 (1 tried to press his likes and dislikes on me which i respectfully denied, the other wants to be in the spotlight all the time even shoving people out of the way, and the last one just complains about what people chooses)
even after telling them they made a error

These 3 would poke fun or do a Joke that Hits hard for spefic people
but when me and some people do make a counter slap
we are yelled at for crime

in short when they are making jokes that can hurt anyone they just wave it off as something minor...something so small people wont take note
but when i do so im screamed at as if im being a criminal...even something as small as the same they did was considered Major

Now then the one i wanted to comission again was joking around so i decided to joke around with them aswell...i made a very bad joke which i apologized for(and to be fair i had a bad week to and was hooked up to a medical device for a donation) but for the 3 i typed about earlier went on a rampage to make it way and way bigger then that the joke was which results the artist to completly ignore me for a long while (even still)
these 3 again are encouraging them to keep ignoring me aswell (form all i can tell the one i really wanted to comission again hasnt blocked me yet but dont even reply)
form what i suspect they do it in DM's which in my khowing is against discord's TOS and COC

now today while i was just talking about a friend's OC if im still good in there eyes
but one of the 3 used it to take a Jab against me telling me "your not good in "artist's" eyes"
Which in a way Hurts alot since im trying to get the back again by just replying to them and complimenting them
a minute later the same guy who said that said "just a jab...nothing harmfull"

my main issue here is getting back on good terms with the artist but im also horrified by the amount of "Gifts" they get despite for the Problems they caused
on there i feel like im the underdog, the castaway, the outsider, the outcast, Etc only cause of the people who are getting praised caused issues and most likey keep causing issues towards me and a few others until they are gone

Im gonna stream right here https://www.twitch.tv/coasterrider1
building my park

Im streaming atm
https://www.twitch.tv/coasterrider1

yea really odd thing to post here but just hear me out

over the course of years anytime i got some ground to work with i got subjected to harassment and defamation...destroying any ground i had socially with people
those who do so often cause arguments against me that no matter if i was right or wrong i would always lose
This week this went to the top where 3 spefic persons (the same 3 i had earlier) blown there lid off after i made a bad joke (it was a bad joke, sorry about that, had a heavy week) but these 3 continued on with this and even called me a pedo for the joke i made tus making me lose a friend yet again and someone i was willing to commission if i had enough
and i suspect they are even trying to spread fake rumors about this to get more people to just block me

over the years i seen a repeat of this cycle...i make friends...have some ground and even have commissioner(s) or someone who was willing to do a commission for me...and then something happens with other people until they take it away...no more comissions form them and sometimes not reacting to me
i have been excluded in pieces that are meant to display EVERYONE...never included in group plays like gaming as a team or even sharing some arts together...
i have seen stuff like constand rule breaking on there end but im being told "its no big deal" but if i cross the line even once by accident i get yelled at or even punished for it while the others who did the same are free to go...heck they can even Malform my own words if they want to...or steal my ideas and use it as there own but excluding me in my own idea

Like this i have been a constand target of defamation and anytime i bite back it goes wrong
anytime i remain silent about it it goes wrong
even saying hi or just one letter is wrong in there eyes

i honestly feel like a outcast by these harassment actions against me...that im on my own when it comes to arts/commissions/etc because im forced into a bad light whenever im did a small thing wrong

Just a good question...anyone wanna see SFM stuff i sometimes work on?

If i where to comission you but you are free to chose whats gonna happen aslong as it includes me (between reasons and minding my likes and dislikes) what would happen to me then? :P

simply put on a discord server on 8/8 i was treated as a ghost
whenever i tried to talk with someone some people would talk right over me and whenever i posted something negative they would yell at me for it
whenever i post a idea these people make sure the one the idea is for will not see it but after abit of time i see them hogging the idea i mentioned and when i tell them it was my idea first im just getting yelled at for being childish or rude or that that idea was theres the whole time
when i tried to get the attention of someone else again they would flood the chat
when i try again to get the attention of someone i get pointed at that i have to "Wait My Turn" or that im annoying or disrupting the chat

and also one time it got out of hand which a admin had to be involved in who threated to punish anyone in the chat by locking down the chat AND removing chat and VC rights of all of those involved
This was a long while ago but after this threat was given by the admin these 3 people are basicly parading around like they own the place...shoving people out of the chat (by flooding the chat with there own stuff), talking or using disruptive sounds in VC when one of the people they dislike is talking, making sure people ignore me and a few others, and react when some of them post something negative (in there eyes) to make them look bad
Because if one of use reports it then Everyone has to pay the prize...not only those who are actuely being a pain but everyone else there aswell
Basicly owning the place despite not owning it by scaring people because who wants to be khown for that one that has locked down the discord server?

im then 29 years old
Wooh it goes fast

Thank you for Screwing me up so much that my brother is now forced to kick me out of my nintendo online subscription (which was shared with mutple people) to prevent my bad Stats form hindering them...
thank you thank you thank you

Yep im having issues with a few people again...this time on a vore related server
im kinda sad or depressed about what happened monday but also when i just want to vent it out and talk about it 2 people come along and start spamming the chat with there own BS
which they also do with ideas i have for sketches where they are just like "oohh this is a fun idea but instand of him do me"(When they like the idea i had) and other ideas i have posted (which they dont like) there are YET AGAIN spammed over by these 2 people spamming there own ideas so that my ideas arnt even seen unless i Reply to the same idea i had (Which people often see as being annoying / pushy)
hack i even seen one sketch someone asked for to include anyone in a way But when the sketch was posted this guy came on and asked to remove a mention towards me in that same picture
This even continues on to RP's with other people there...im just massing around with someone and then someone "Yoinks/noms/coils/Etc" the person i was massing with away
but when i tell these people to quit it and that everyone deserves a turn they tell me to shut the F*** up and instand just continue...which im not gonna lie often results in arguements...even if im not involved when it begon
a week ago some big argument broke out which i wasnt part off in the beginning where i kept telling people to calm down until a staff member came in and threated to lock the channels and to lock the Voice chat to put a end to the arguments
But these 2 then just openly stated "i khow what i should do...block coaster"
Fine these 2 are quite littery often causing issues or trouble
What i didnt expect along with them blocking me for the trouble They caused a few other people stoped talking to me altogetter aswell
along with being excluded form quite alot without a reason

im really at a lose for words right now...if i tell this to the staff they will go trough with there threat and lockdown the server

Well finelly its back online
and also a little bit of sad news...my grandma went peacefully which is very sad...but we manage...

also new PC and stuff which can do so much more then my old PC did

Also quite abit of waiting around aswell for some stuff

Sooo voting has ended and had 10 votes...and a few of them are selected twice XD
What im gonna do is look at which pokemon on Which design has the most (like one of them are on top on 2 but on one they got 50% and the other has 40%...the pokemon in second place will take the 40% one)

which pokemon get which design you will see later >:3

only 2 days left to vote on which pokemon will become which design bounce house :3

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60186351/

Soooo i have quite abit of plans for a while now so i would tell some here

1 a interactive thing with pokemon (and a few of my friends if they want to join)
i was thinking about this one for a while now...and im hoping i can make it
where you can with a poll can put a pokemon on slot A or C however you like...
the popular votes will be made then :P
So look for that one :P

2 I have been looking for a 3d animator for quite a long while now...for something fun that i like :P (Probley something bouncy)
but i cant get the money around for it atm and when i have the ones i have in sight are useally closed or already busy...i kinda hope i get a chance some time

Carefull of a trade scammer on discord...they are looking for drawings of there dino girl's and agreeing to trade for it but upon receiving it they just block you
Cant call out the name sadly but what a pretty shitty move...

Just my luck again...FA notifcations didnt work and it kinda screwed my changes of winning a raffle which i did ;-; but due to FA not giving me that journal it has been switched

this might anger some people but again Pls dont block me or anyone else without a reason to do so
This goes without saying but for some reason people on discord keep blocking me and or put me into situation's where im or someone else is unable to defend myself
its honestly heartbreaking to

Well then for 2 weeks i was away form home for a vaction in belguim
and it was something but im happy to be back although...with some diffeculty where my PC wont boot up so i removed its power and then it works...kinda
and that i already have some work to do regarding the "Future" of splatoon >:D and a day out after the day i have returned
the drive to and form went...well
the drive to the park was Annoying and frustrating for me as a 2 hour drive went to a 5 HOURS drive due to road issues
the drive form the park was just as basic and relaxing...very few issues on the road
i have seen alot during the vaction and lots of new ideas...which i can tell if people want :P

Im a birthday wolfo now XD

My birthday is nearby...at 29 july Woooh

Sooo i have a idea with the Big 3 B's
and maybe i can use it as a small YCH for 3 or 4 characters
wut you think think...
should i try it?

Well it happened...
Some Nut got my Roblox account disabled for a Day for "harassment"
Like WTF?
I remember last being in game with someone who had a Not So safe For kids avatar who got a simple question wrong ("what kind of species is a Yoshi: Frog or Dinosaur")
i told him hes screwed up a SIMPLE QUESTION
And next day i go onto roblox only to see i have been Banned for 1 day

This is littery after the news that the Dutch Representive of the Eurovision song contest has banned form competing due to some "minor incident"

im so livid right now

Who the HACK is massing around in my game or who Keeps sending idiot players with cheats into my matches?
and WHO THE FACK IS FORCING PENALTIES ON ME?

Well its a while ago that i did this explaining whats happing well here we go

for 1 i have been fighting with Both Influenza virus (A and B) which toke me so long and it felt like i could have been hospitalized any moment but i didnt i pulled trough
for me Influenza A was like my body didnt do what it was surpose to be doing where but didnt take long to recover form it
however form influenza B it was like a 1/4 of the complains i had of influenza A but in turn takes very long (2 to 4 weeks) to recover (among(us) with the coughing which can hurt alot due to repeated coughing)
but for now as im making the journal i only have very slight feelings and no more cough so its recovering and it doesnt take very long anymore

for 2 i have been trying to get around working with a old program but also with some game dev stuff and with ideas to
but i have ideas that kinda interfear with each other

Such as story ideas:
me and everyone's favorite blue rubber dog on a Island/city togetter?
a pool run by water pokemon and such

and a few game ideas to make in roblox
with one where you can make a indoor playground with lots of stuff like theming and stuff
and a other where you have to build a village and then use the buildings in the village to defend it and destroy the other team's village

and for 3 i have been returning into some games i used to play before and even able to find older games which i liked to play back then ^^;

Short one but annoying
I feel like someone is trying to badmouth me or to damage my reputation yet again

I was i a VC thing today but just as someone was about to leave they yelled "everyone BUT coaster is cute"
And when i toke a look around on my discord friendlist some of the friend i had just straight up vanished form it