Had to adjust again, so I have time to do the things I need to do, plus stream/work, and not get stressed out. The submission here has been updated, but the times are

Tuesday - Thurday: 15:00 - 19:00 PST (GMT+8)
Friday: 19:00 - 23:00 PST (GMT+8)
Saturday: 21:00 - 00:00+ PST (GMT+8)

This starts today, and hopefully stays for a while.... or hopefully not if I get a job. That would be a good change, otherwise sorry x3

Hey all. So I have begun a stream/work schedule to keep myself sane and consistent! I will be updating weekly schedules for the streams, and they will consist of mostly art or gaming. You can check them HERE

I have also opened for commissions, and lowered my prices with no more extra charge for NSFW. Please take a look!!

ToS and Queue, and generally where to find me is here:
https://lashyn.carrd.co/

I haven't been able to find work, and so until then, this IS my job. Your support means the world right now

Hey all,

So I'm sorry to alarm everyone with the last journal, but well, it was alarming. That being said, I wasn't expecting the GFM to get anything let alone enough to save us. Now, the goal is set to include January, because I don't have that either, and GFM was trying to get me to set 5K which is not necessary, but the big thing is solved. Provided nothing goes horribly wrong (like a donation getting reversed), we are good for December, thanks in large part due to you guys!

I don't know what to say but thank you, but that doesn't feel good enough, so I'll think of something. I did a little drawing I will post, but I feel I need to message everyone individually, or maybe make a video - which would probably be more practical for me. I genuinely want to thank everyone, but it's so overwhelming. I don't know where to start or how to go about it, but thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.

I will be sure to pay it forward any way I can

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-us-.....-keep-our-home

Guys I'm sorry but I need another 200 if I'm to take care of this.

I'm going to Walmart to get the final money order now. Please don't let me leave empty or short handed

You have all been absolutely amazing so far. But it's very urgent now

Alright well... for those wondering why I've been so ultra depressed...... this is why

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-us-.....-keep-our-home

I hate doing this so much, but I'm scared and out of options.

We need help or we will be EVICTED TOMORROW (and if not tomorrow, in the next few days)

I'm so scared please. If you can't donate please share

My partner's ct scan came back fine from what we can tell, aside from the stuff we already knew about. Going to wait for confirmation from the doctor, but I'm very relieved

But

It also made me realize what a shitty partner I am. And that extends into other relationships

I was worried I wouldn't get time to change that, but now it seems I will... But I shan't squander it

I just hope people actually have faith I will get better. I know I should do it for myself first, and then everyone else, and I shouldn't seek external validation, but...

It's discouraging knowing people are waiting for you to fail (not rooting, or wishing, but waiting and expecting)

But... I guess he's never done that. It makes me wonder who else I've been unfair to

Everyone, basically

But I mean, specifically who and what

I'm sorry. All I can do is try to fix it going forward, and if anyone is still around, well, you've been way more than patient

Hey, so I don't talk about my spirituality much. Most people I know are, in fact, atheist. I guess I'm agnostic

Whatever

The point is

Whatever god you pray to, good vibes you believe in, thoughts and wishes. Whatever. Please send it my partner's way

Let me be crystal clear: we do not know exactly what is going on. What we know is the gallbladder and that is it.... But it could be very bad

I'm kinda beside myself, and I will probably not be online as much

I'll post a follow up to this just so you know what happens

Commissions are open. I have a kofi. Shinies are also enabled now.

The TL;DR is I quit my job because I was going to commit suicide on the job, I can't pay for things. I DESPERATELY want to move out of the country, and I can! But I'm hoping and praying for some money to come through. I have some promising sources, and this was a plan anyway. But now we're moving sooner than later. It basically comes down to money

Edit: and sometime next month my partner is also having surgery and we can't afford to lose pay. God damnit I hate this

I'm drowning. I want to scream, and I want to die. But it seems so is everyone else, so I guess thanks for choosing to read my stupid journal amongst everyone else

If you want more information, I'll be happy to provide. I just don't want to bore you

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/62562551/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/62562551/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/62562551/

So uh, I can't get this myself. But dawg. Buy 1 get 1 free YCHs!?
+ The art is amazing. Don't sleep on this D:

Plus they could use your help!

So I'm doing a little raffle on my bluesky. I can't do a pic/day like some people, or anywhere close. But I can do this.

So if you want a chance at some art, please enter. plus it would be nice to get a good variety of kinks entered. The more the merrier

https://bsky.app/profile/lashyndrag...../3m2bwpmboic2o
https://bsky.app/profile/lashyndrag...../3m2bwpmboic2o
https://bsky.app/profile/lashyndrag...../3m2bwpmboic2o













((I'm also sorry about my last journal. I actually get a lot of joy from this fandom... In fact, it's often my only joy, and I've met a lot of great people and was being grandiose... and I guess I just wanted to self destruct. But I do very much struggle with what I said))

I'm sorry to everyone who has had the displeasure of knowing me

I should have never joined this fandom

I should have never made this account

Right here

Right here is where it started. (Well actually I had another account but it's long gone and was only for browsing)

First I made my ugly, boring, "dragon" fursona (because let's face it, he's not a dragon, he's some boring attempt at one because I was and still am too stupid to use blender or design a character apparently)

Pretty hilarious I made him fit too lol, but I digress

Then how did I decide to start socializing?

What was the first thing I did?

Why, I joined Garo's streams and we all know how that went >.>

And I'm so stupid, naive, and socially inept, I thought that was normal, or acceptable.

So I haven't really been able to trust anyone who streams tbh... Like, yeah, I'm sorry, it's a trauma response because that shit was traumatic, and has kinda set the tone for the rest of my experience here:

"Don't get too close to anyone, because it will seem like you're becoming friends, but really they're using you, and may even end up hurting you" or if not that - I disappoint them

And the few people who have been kind to me, I can't seem to reciprocate.

I'm an awful friend. Awful at socializing, and awful at being a furry

It was a mistake I joined here, and I'm sorry for wasting anyone's time or trust

Hey

I made an art fight account! and I really want to try and participate this year in July, as I feel my skills are somewhat serviceable at this point

https://artfight.net/~LashynDragon
https://artfight.net/~LashynDragon

Feel free to give me a follow or whatever! (I'm still figuring it out x3)

Also I have a bit to upload when I can get around to it

Hope everyone is having a good one

https://lashyn.carrd.co/

Where you can find me here

https://lashyn.carrd.co/

Only two people on my queue. I need to update it I suppose but i know who's who.

I have been doing art lately. And been enjoying it. I have done some personal art but I think I have made some strides that I can apply to commissions.

That said, it's slow and I'm sorry.

Back when I was erm between jobs, I could do a drawing in a couple days... But now

I'm tired

Of course, I don't really think I'm good enough for commissions, I only did it because I didn't know what else to do

I still don't

But I wanted to make something someone would enjoy and put in my best effort

Unfortunately, my best effort is never enough

I know no one really cares about the drawing because no one wants the drawing

But I made a commitment and I hate hate hate artists running off with money, so I don't want to be that person

I'm going to be offering refunds in a couple weeks.

I will still do the drawings eventually... But this is too long to wait, especially for my piece of shit "art"

Again, I will still do the drawings, but I can't keep the money

I'm sorry. Just been trying to keep from losing everything x3

OK, so first off, thank you to everyone who shared my last journal and helped it get seen, and a BIG DOUBLE THANK YOU to anyone who got a commission from me or donated to my ko-fi

Thanks to you guys, I can get some groceries. I cannot thank you enough ;w;

---

ALSO. Due to the support, I thought it would be wise to make a public queue, so I have done that here:
https://trello.com/b/eoZ9UcNX/lashyns-commissions

It is also in my Carrd, and my Commissions tab here.

I was expecting zero, so thank you very much.

---

Lastly, I could still use the support to make rent. If I can somehow manage to do that, I would actually explode. It may not happen, but either way, thank you ALL for any support. I hope I can make something you will enjoy if you commissioned me, and I will hope to one day pay it forward with donations, and even sharing my posts around are a huge help.

I am very lucky to be a part of this wonderful community. THANK YOU SO MUCH

I really need help to pay for things. If you want, I do commissions. Any character, any gender, any kink (besides scat, cub or r*pe). Completely open which means fast TAT

https://www.furaffinity.net/commiss...../lashyndragon/

Or if you don't want art and just want to help, I have a Ko-Fi

https://ko-fi.com/lashyn#

I don't know what to do. I'm sorry

I'm in a rough spot and really need to make a bit of money so I can eat this month. My benefits have run out after being wrongfully terminated earlier this year, and it's going to take some time before I can start a new job and start getting a paycheck.

So I am officially offering SFW and NSFW commissions. Note/DM me if you have any questions

https://www.furaffinity.net/commiss...../lashyndragon/
https://www.furaffinity.net/commiss...../lashyndragon/
https://www.furaffinity.net/commiss...../lashyndragon/
https://www.furaffinity.net/commiss...../lashyndragon/

Thank you for looking at this (shares appreciated)

I have created a google form here:
https://forms.gle/7Jo19h3eWvLSPXJJA

A known art thief is here on FA. known as nightflight versal from DA. They steal art, especially dragons and scalies.

 berderdor is the account for now. Though I'm sure he'll be back >.>

Don't harass or interact. Just block and move on.

I know it's him, because of his peculiar way of typing.

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58561668/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58561668/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58561668/

Offering slots for this^

I had an unexpected expense and could really use the funds, plus these are fun to do

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58387587/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58387587/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58387587/

Join here^

I wake up, not usually to an alarm
But to my own circadian rhythm
Whatever it may be at the time

I wake up exhausted from tossing and turning
Sleep happens not when I go to bed, but hours later
When I dream, I dream only of threats and people I've lost

I get up and have some coffee and a bagel, or cereal. Bought with government benefits
I lost my car due to my own stupidity, and I'm reminded of this every time I get on the bus
I ride that bus usually to a meeting in place of a job

These meetings help, and I enjoy them
But let's face it
No one there wants anything to do with me outside of them

I come back home and I think about how I can occupy my time
Perhaps I could stream, or draw, or chat with friends online
It's just too bad I'm terrible at these things and unwanted

Sometimes I try to take a nap to fix my exhaustion
It rarely helps even if I'm able to get my brain to shut up for a couple hours
Suddenly hours have passed and I have created nothing and talked to no one.

At this point, I usually go to another meeting. Same thing as before
It helps, but I am still afraid to let anyone get close
Either they will disappoint me, or I will disappoint them

I go home again and I get to see my partner
For some reason he has stuck around, and I suspect it's because of complacency and a sunk cost fallacy
I have nothing to offer. I'm mentally sick, physically gross, and not even good for a fuck.

Again, I could create something, stream, or chat with friends.
But again, I'm incompetent, unwanted, and easily forgettable
Besides, I'm usually too tired by this point in the day

Certain nights I do volunteer work
The idea was to fill my time and meet people with similar interests
The results are the same as every group I try to be apart of: I find I'm out of place, and just keep my head down until it's time to leave

I would like to think that I'm at least contributing help
But the truth is I'm easily replaced, and no one cares if I'm there or not
But I dare not quit or else I would be a complete failure

Now my mom is out here instead of 1500+ miles away
I'm not sure why
I guess she wants to see first hand what a failure she's created

Every night when I consider going to bed, I consider something more permanent
My mom is the only reason I don't, but maybe if I did, she could finally stop worrying.
I kick, shake, toss and turn again, until again it's time to do it all over again.

I hear life is short and precious
But I think for me it's something else
It's space and energy wasted on a toxic pile that infects everything it comes in touch with

I wonder why I go on
And yet I do
Because I don't know what else to do

I've heard it gets better
But it's been over 15 years of this storm inside my head
And frankly, I'm not convinced

When someone asks me "how's it going?"
The most positive thing I can say is that I'm alive
Anything else would be unwanted or a lie

Well it's getting late now
Time to try to go to bed again
Maybe tomorrow will be different. It rarely is, but what choice do I have

I hate myself. I hate my life. And I sometimes even hate the world around me
I just want it to end
Make it end
Please, somebody, make it end

Not me. But a great artist in the community was recently robbed of everything they need to do commissions.

I'll leave their journal here:

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10958523/
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10958523/
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10958523/

Give what you can. If everyone who sees this gives even one dollar, it could add up to so much help

Hey all, just curious if anyone would be up to have their fursona roasted in an upcoming video on my partner and I's YouTube

Tried to get some volunteers on Twitter and Reddit, but no such luck :(

idk. Thought it might be fun

Leave refs/images in the comments if you're willing and interested

Hey all. Me and my partner (Oliver) made a new YouTube channel and posted our first video yesterday.

It's me showing him some r/furry_irl memes

As you may or may not know, he's not a furry.

Was fun to do, and I hope we can grow our relationship by doing this.

It would mean the world if you checked it out!! Leave a comment if you wish too.

https://youtu.be/wW3UbW87kZo?si=4bR56BCG7BTJ-5EQ
https://youtu.be/wW3UbW87kZo?si=4bR56BCG7BTJ-5EQ
https://youtu.be/wW3UbW87kZo?si=4bR56BCG7BTJ-5EQ

The channel is not going to be strictly furry, but we're still going to do a lot of furry content and use our sonas. So subscribe if you're interested ^=^