Yus, it's been a while! My apologies. I'm not fully back yet. I'm still struggling with and trying to overcome my agoraphobia. It has gotten worse, but I'm fighting back. Sorry I've been so absent. I really am working on it!

I come to show the greatness that is  glitchthegothkidd ! She's holding a raffle and with so few looking at it, I felt I must dry and reach someone else! She does fantastic work and I'm always eager to see what's next!
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9161103/ Here is the raffle! Please! Go have a look! =3

Thanks for the watches and everything. know that I've not forgotten about anyone. I just... struggle. I think I'm making improvements at least!

Only 75 watches? Gosh, I certainly there are more coming!  glitchthegothkidd has quite a few YCHs and adopts that could use a good home! Should definitely be worth a look at the least! ~<3

Some adorable Babs here! Please take a look! http://www.furaffinity.net/view/29740859/ Spread the word too!

I see an artist return to fa that I had commissioned before saying that she'd like to talk about commissions or refunds since she's been away for so long. I wanted to express my surprised and looking to welcome her back and see if we could talk about the commission I had paid for way back when. Turns out, I've been blocked. I had tried to get a refund because I know someone that knew her IRL. Y'know, just thinking that if she didn't care much for the whole 'fur' thing anymore that It'd be fine and all. I guess I was being unreasonable to ask for a refund or something and got blocked.
It would seem like the person really did run off with my money. That seems to happen far too often to me and I'm not entirely sure why.

There is something a lot of people may not know about me, not that I necessarily hide it. My hiatuses have been a hiatus for preserving myself. I don't necessarily do the best when dealing with people and the times I'm away it's me trying to recover. You see, I suffer from Agoraphobia, a fear of crowds. Even if it's many individuals it can become overwhelming. The real struggle is that I love talking to people. It's why when I am around, people can see me frequently commenting on many pieces of art, journals, and shouts.

There comes a point when I just break though and I have to hide away because it's become too much and I literally get just too scared to do anything. Even going outside of my house becomes a problem. I come up with every excuse under the sun to not leave so many people don't know why I can't actually leave. It can even lead in to a pretty bad depression because I'm a person that thrives quite well on the interaction with others. It's a hell of a life full of contradictions, believe me. I'm aware.

I love so many of the people here and have wanted to always keep talking to everyone, alas, the mind that I have and how strong the fear was kept me from breaking through.

Before I left last time I had a falling out with a few people which lead me to the very simple thought that "If I'm not part of the solution, I'm part of the problem." Which caused me to slip away from anything and everything involving anybody. Even the streams I participate in I was very mechanical and distant. I struggled. Struggled hard to even feel the desire to wish to come back because of the fear that others may have been affected and view me negatively.

I guess I'm not always the bubbling pot of continuous positive energy, at least as much as I'd like to be. When I am here I will always try to be that person.
Even as this is typed, I'm struggling to even want to finish this journal. The button is there. I can click it any time to be done. Yet I remain here. Terrified. Hopefully one day I can fully beat this part of me.... I'll try to be back though.

Hiiiiiyas! Thanks for taking the time to read this!

 ice-adoptable has some pretty things up for sale! Take a quick browse if you're in the market!

So, I've really been giving it a lot of thought. Like, really, quite a lot. After a while, I finally broke down and realized a couple things.
I don't think I'll be getting any more commissions. Ever. Unless I can sit there and watch them do it right in front of my face.
Pretty much, I've given up on a lot of the art aspects of all this.
Several artists I've paid for have done pretty much the same thing. Either Forget, Not in the mood, wait, continue to take more commissions, etc. I'm done with it.
If you owe me something, you no longer have to worry. Forget about it. I don't really care anymore.
With this thought in there, I'm also going to be parting with many of the adopts that I've gotten over the time. I'll be making another journal for a place to find them and what they will be going for.
There is a lot of faith in people that I've lost. I won't name names, I won't ask for refunds. I'm not that kind of guy. But I'm not getting anymore. It's just not worth it.