Lately I’ve been questioning a lot of things. I got some news that crushed my artistic motivation, and I’m mentally exhausted. I haven’t been able to finish the last 4 commissions of the month… and I’ve decided that it’s okay. I’ll give myself more time. 🧵

I had 10 commissions this month. I finished half in the first 2 weeks, then suddenly the fatigue hit. I don’t understand why I can’t keep up the pace… I’m sorry for not posting regularly. 💬

Right now, I’m more interested in doing personal art than commissions. And it’s hard to say, but I’m struggling more and more to enjoy commissions at all. Sometimes I wonder if I should just stop altogether.

Everything I make, I end up criticizing. I’m always disappointed. I’m also learning Blender on the side I’m making progress, but slowly. It’s normal, it’s a learning process… but I never feel like it’s enough.

I put so much pressure on myself. I don’t give myself rest. I always want to do better, do more, without allowing myself to slow down. I don’t know if other artists feel like this, but the thought keeps coming back: what if I just quit everything?

I gave everything up to pursue art… but does it still make me happy today? I’m not sure anymore. It’s hard to admit, but I wanted to be honest with you. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read. 💛