2020 is now over. I understand that, unfortunately, 2020 was not a very pleasant year for many of us. But 2021 has arrived.

I'm not gonna lie, this year makes me feel sad. I was expected to graduate this year, but even before 2020 and COVID-19 even began, I was facing some hardship. And that hardship has negatively impacted my academic performance.

It's sad, since the first two characters of the username I use to sign into my school account are 21, referring to the year I was expected to graduate. It made me believe I was going to graduate this year, so knowing that I'm not ready to graduate makes me feel as though I've been lied to my whole life.

I know it isn't really the case, but I've always had quite a strong heart. I've always been determined, perhaps even stubborn, I'm very compassionate and understanding, and I've always been more inclined to follow my heart rather than my head.

Perhaps I'm just a late bloomer. Every teacher has affirmed that I'm quite a bright student during every parent teacher conference I can remember. So I obviously have the potential to go far and do a considerable amount of good in this world.

I have some dreams that I doubt I could possibly make a reality, no matter how much effort I make. But my nearly decade older brother has affirmed that it's not impossible to make my dreams a reality. He's always been very smart, so I don't doubt his words about me.

But I digress. For now, I think I'll avoid going to school until the next school year begins. The schools really push you to graduate and figure out which college you'll be going to.

I'm not ready to figure out which college I'll be going to, let alone graduate. I was more than a year behind mostly thanks to depression and the school had also planned for me to focus on the schoolwork that the rest of the students at my age were working on.

They didn't even inform my teachers that I was more than a year behind, so they weren't even aware that I'd no doubt have a hard time with the lessons they'd give me.

I never learned the lessons I had to learn in the previous year because I was too depressed to go to school. I wasn't really that I needed to be in school. I understand that I need to be in school if I am to learn, it's just that no one can easily get out of bed in the morning when they're depressed. But this is all old news.

I think I might voluntarily remove myself from the attendance, when I get a chance. Don't worry, I'm not planning on being a high school drop out, I just need to wait until the next school year so I'll be able to go to a place where I won't have as hard of a time learning as I do now.

Anyway, I've got all I wanted to get off my chest. If you read this far, thank you. You weren't exactly required to read all of this, yet you did anyway. So once again, thanks.