This was one of the day I kept complaining to almost everyone on my MSN/Skype list, a few weeks, maybe months ago, I forgot. I kept being sore, my mother stopped to care about me.

No more food, I didn't have anymore prescription pills, which were my anti-depression pills. On my mood, they have no actual effect, but they give a VERY strong physical addiction. If I don't take them for a few days in a row, vomitting, blurry view, strong head and heart aches, intense shaking, unable to stand/walk correctly, it's a really bad feeling. Oh, and the heat was so strong that I collapsed near the entrance. I stayed there, laying flat on the floor, only in shorts for a moment and I faded away after hearing "The heat is tough, uh?" from my mother, who saw me in this situation. I "woke up" a while later, realized I was out for 50 minutes and saw that my mother was laying on the couch watching her TV show, now giving a shit about me. This is a plan, a quick sketch of the upper floor of the house, showing where I was and where she was when I lost consciousness.

My mother...She didn't want either to go get my prescription pills no matter how sick I looked, no matter how much I begged her. I forgot a few other things, but I do remember that I never hated her that much of my life.

Oh, she also admitted to me a few weeks ago (After all this mess) that my making, my birth, was an accident. I had forgotten about it, but when it was my birthday, 2 days ago...I remembered it. I kept being sad about it. Why am I even getting my birthday...Why am I even there?