I hate April Fools jokes. So much so, that I was motivated by sheer contempt to actually finish the third chapter today :p It's a shorter chapter, just trying to gauge public interest while also get back into the swing of things. I promise the next chapter will have much more tummy.

In this chapter, Cin (played by  Cinnaminister) helps to show James the ropes on how things are done here on the Weight Staff. It's all a bit overwhelming for the poor yeen, who was used to spending his afternoons mindlessly gaming and being a bit of a slob. Not only that, but he also has the pressures of training to put on over a hundred pounds in order to be a proper member of the crew! Will he shape up (and out), or will the pressure get to him?

I hope you all enjoy~ 4.3k words

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Chapter 3

James’ first impression upon opening the door to the butler’s quarters was how cold it was! He couldn’t even step inside before feeling a gust of chilly air wash over him, like he was stepping into an arctic tundra. The tubby hyena let loose an involuntary shiver, jiggling his broad self. Perhaps he shouldn’t be surprised that the interior to the cabin containing a dozen obese butlers would have the AC running at maximum.

His second impression was just how plush everything looked! The room he walked into looked so bright and warm, despite the chilly air. A large chandelier hung on the high ceiling above, basking the wood-themed room in a bright glow, although the oversized windows helped as well. Several loveseats and sofas curved around a large coffee table, facing a large fireplace at the corner of the room. To James’ delight, an enormous flat screen that dwarfed his old CRT tv hung above the fireplace, the hyena already imagining plugging his console into the shining screen. The lighting, the couches, the tv, even the scarlet red rug on the wooden floor made this log cabin almost look perfect.

Almost.

His third impression was how surprisingly messy everything was. Wrappers and other trash were tossed about this way and that, not at all what James expected a butler’s quarters to look like. Heck, on his third look through of the room, the hyena suddenly noticed a very pudgy bat napping on the couch, his winged arms clutching his belly gently. The bat’s dirt-brown fur easily blended in with the couch, to the point where James might not have noticed him if he hadn’t snorted loudy through that hog nose. Like Cin and Edwin, the winged mammal also wore a uniform that left his torso completely exposed, the bat’s lap-filling belly covering most of his clothes, of course.

The hyena flinched slightly when he felt Cin pat his shoulder. “Heh, don’t mind lazy Benny there. He likes his midafternoon naps. Yer lucky if you can catch him semi-conscious.”

Benny snorted yet again, and James swore the bat somehow heard the insult in his sleep. Rather than do anything about it, the flying fox lazily scratched some crumbs from his tubby cheeks before falling right back into that slumber, his wings riding along the curvature of his large stomach.

Cin snickered. “Told ya he’s a lazy bones. He was actually fired from being a mall santa cuz he kept falling asleep, believe it or not! He says he ain’t narcoleptic, though, so he really don’t got no excuse,” the pig snorted, a cheeky grin on his face. “C’mon, let’s go get ya unpacked… oh, but first, we oughta get ya weighed!”

James blinked, his head swiveling from the comatose bat back to the boar. “Weighed?”

“Yeah! We’re all weighed every day.” The boar explained as he waddled forward, gesturing for James to follow along. Resting against one of the back walls was a large, narrow white board, split into two columns: names and weight. James wasn’t sure how he hadn’t noticed the big white board before, but upon stepping up to it, the tubby hyena couldn’t tear his eyes off of it. The weight minimum was 500 lbs, yet nearly every butler working here was labeled as weighing much more than that; Cin was actually just shy of 650! Even the skinniest butler was just a few pounds short of 550. James felt himself letting out a small sigh of relief, knowing he didn’t have to grow as massive as Cin in order to officially become part of the Weight Staff.

However, he soon noticed a name missing on the white board. “How come Edwin isn’t listed here? Isn’t he a butler too?”

Cin shrugged his broad shoulders. “He’s...well, technically, he ain’t part of the Weight Staff, y’know? He’s an official butler, or somethin’. We just gotta clean the house, trim the hedges, mow the yard, the easy stuff. Eddy manages Archie’s daily schedule, runs inventory, does the shopping, and even faxes us our personalized list of chores every day!”

“Seriously?” James blurted out, loud enough to cause Benny to stir on the couch. The thought of keeping track of all the work that needs to get done around the house alone sounded like a huge headache to the college dropout; doing all that and much more gave the hyena the impression that the rudest, fattest panther he had ever met was also the smartest!

“Yeeeeup! Eddy’s a real brainaic! It’s also why he lives in the mansion and not here, cuz he can’t stand to be lumped up with us simple folk,” Cin gwaffared, sticking his tongue out playfully. “Since he ain’t part of the Weight Staff, he don’ need to get all tubby like us. When I first came to work here, Eddy was actually thinner than you!”

That was genuinely difficult for James to believe. He looked down at his pudgy middle, imagining Edwin at the same size, before doubling it mentally. “Why is he so fat then, if he doesn’t have to be?” The hyena asked, genuinely curious.

The big boar shrugged again. “Beats me. I do know it ain’t no accident he got so big, considerin’ how much he moves around. We all have our own lil’ theories, but mine is-”

“Oh my god, Cin, your voice is so freaking loud!”

James and Cin flinched, the hyena’s neck fur rising up as he heard Benny scream at them from the couch, the bat apparently no longer asleep. Cin’s reddish eyes were as wide as saucers. “Sorry, Benny! We’ll keep it down!” He shouted back, completely missing the irony of that action. With a tusky grin, he turned back to the hyena. “My bad, I sorta distracted mahself, heheh. Go ahead and weigh yerself real quick.”

The boar gestured to the ground, and James saw a large metal square on the floor, what he presumed to be a scale. Further up along the wall, up to the hyena’s chest, was a small LED screen with the letters “lbs” right next to it. James had never seen an industrial scale before, and felt a little awkward about having to use one to weigh himself like he was some cargo. Nonetheless, he did what he was told and stepped onto the metal plate, staring at the tiny screen as the numbers quickly rose up.

“398.7”

James’ heart stopped in his chest as he looked up at Cin with wide eyes. “I-I swear, my scale said I was over 400 just this morning!”

To his relief, the boar let out a playful snort, dimpling those chubby cheeks of his. “Hah! Dun worry ‘bout it. This thing’s been weighing fatties for years! I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a little off calibration. I believe yah, dun worry.” Taking the marker from the white board, Cin quickly scribbled in James’ name at an empty space on the whiteboard, before writing the number “400.1 '' beside it. “There, yer secret’s safe with me! Course, that just means we gotta get you gainin’ all the quicker, so no one gets suspicious!”

The big pig slapped his meaty arm around James’ shoulders, causing the hyena to flinch. “C’mon, let’s go grab a snack from the Mess Hall.”



The mess hall was just that: a mess. James was wide-eyed at the sight of what was supposed to be their eating canteen. The wooden table in the middle of the room had stains all over it, along with crumbs and whatever else might have been food at one point. Interestingly enough, there were more crumbs and stains surrounding the table than there were on top of it. James’s muzzle furrowed in disgust. This had to be a joke, right?

James looked to Cin for some clarification, but the big boar just smiled back at the smaller hyena. “Neat, huh?”

“Right…” James didn’t quite share in his enthusiasm. He took a hesitant step forward, noting the rows of chairs on either side of the lengthy table. The hyena had never seen a reinforced chair bolted into the ground before, least of all an entire row of them. They were incredibly wide, twice as wide as any chair James had ever seen. No armrests on them meant they would be relatively easy to slide in and out of, even for someone as rotund as Cin. The padded seats would have looked more inviting to sit in were they not, too, stained various colors.

Cin must have picked up on the hyena’s discomfort, the big boar waddling over to tap the table. “Dun worry, these stains are all super duper old. They dun stink or nothin,” he beamed jovially, his hooves scratching at what James assumed was a ketchup stain.

The hyena’s ears folded. “That’s...good to know.” It really wasn’t. He glanced up at Cin, slowly working out how to best phrase his next question. “So, uh, Archie doesn’t mind all the...stains and stuff?”

Cin snorted, waving his ketchup crust-covered hoof. “He doesn’t need to know about it! He dun go into here at all, the butler house, I mean. It’s our little ‘Sanct-chu-ary’ from him. That’s how he puts it, that is.” The boar smirked. “It’s on no one’s schedule teh clean around here and all. Not part of the job, ya know? We just take turns, instead.”

“Ah.” James nodded. That would explain why the first room in the butler’s house looked so disorderly. “Do you know whose turn it is to clean next?” Whoever they were, they were a few weeks late.

“W-well, ya see…” Cin’s smirk dropped as the blubbery boar started awkwardly picking at his tusks. “I, erh, don’t have a clue...a-and, uh, no one’s really written down the turn orders, a-and, uh...h-hey, look! There’s still lots of snacks! C’mon, I’m famished!”

James apparently didn’t have a say in the matter as he was practically dragged away by the wrist before he had the chance to protest. Man, for a ball of blubber, Cin was freaking strong!

Cin wasn’t wrong; there were certainly quite a few snacks laid out for them, just not on the messy table (thank God). Along the wall of the mess hall was a massive window leading into the kitchen, and right below that window was an equally massive window sill practically covered with food. So much food, in fact, that James couldn’t even tell if that window sill was as dirty as the table. He wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. The counter had practically everything a fat butler could ever want: Bowls and platters filled with breakfast bars, donuts, muffins, trail mix, cookies, sandwiches, cheese and crackers, dry cereal, even entire cakes and pies cut up in slices!

“Oooh, we still have some custard pie!” Cin oinked in delight as he reached over for a slice, his sides squishing into the sill. But just as he was about to grab the slice-

Whack!

-his hoof was beaten back by a kitchen ladle! “Oi! What was that for?!” The bruised boar yelped, holding his pudgy hoof back.

Just as startled as Cin, James quickly turned to find a very curvy rat standing on the other side of the window, brandishing the ladle. “I’ve told you, like, fifteen times that those pies were for everyone, Cin! You already ate half the damn thing this morning!” The rat gripped the wooden ladle tighter, as if ready to bash the boar’s knuckles in yet again, before pausing as they regarded the other fatty in the room. “Ooooh, hey! You’re the newbie, arentcha? James, right? Oh, gosh, I thought you were coming in tomorrow! Heh, maybe Cin should have another slice, if only so he won’t completely demolish everything at dinner. Ya know, give you a fair chance to eat your fill?”

“H-heh, uh, yeah.” James nervously smiled at the rodent, pulling his paws closer to himself so he wouldn’t get whapped as well. What threw the hyena off about the rat wasn’t their boisterous attitude, but rather their demeanor. They were the first person James had met at the mansion who was actually shorter than he was, even if they were significantly wider than him. With those enormous curvy hips, thighs that looked like the bane of any armrest in a chair, broad and heavy chest flab, James wasn’t so certain the rat before him was even a male! It didn’t help that the rodent had a very effeminate voice, higher pitch and squeaky, especially when berating the tubby pig.

Which was, of course, exactly what the rat was doing while James was regarding them. “I said one slice, fatty! Not four!”

“Nuh uh!” Cin muttered, raising his crumb-covered hooves to defend himself from the ladle. Quickly swallowing that enormous mouthful of pie (James swore he saw that fat neck visibly expand), the boar stepped away, weakly gesturing to the effeminate rat. “J-James, this is Pan. They’re one of the best danged cooks in the world! Everything they make will get you drooling in no time...they’re also, erh, really picky ‘bout everyone gettin’ their fair share of food, so uh...if you want any extra snacks, try to swipe ‘em when they’re busy!”

“What kind of advice is that?!” Pan rolled their eyes, before smiling towards the startled hyena. The flamboyant rat leaned gently against their side of the sill, their plump chest engulfing nearly half of it. “Anyways, nice to meetcha, hun. Don’t believe everything Cin says, we’re nothing special. Just two crazy cooks, who love to experiment a little ‘too’ much.”

Well, James certainly believed the crazy part, but he also couldn’t deny that the smell wafting in from the other side was delightful. After getting over that jumpscare, the chubby hyena’s tail flicked as he sniffed something hearty and meaty brewing up in the kitchen. After dozens of paltry “healthy” meals from his mom, and cheap greasy food from McDonalds, the fledgling butler was eagerly looking forward to whatever this experimental dish was.

Pan caught the look in James’ eye and chuckled. “Smells good, huh?”

“Yeah, it’s great!” The hyena beamed. “Am I allowed to have some when it’s finished?”

“Of course! What, you think I was gonna beat you if you had any?” The rat smirked cheekily. “Yeah, it’s one of our little experiments I talked about earlier. Veeeery hearty, and super carb filled too; perfect for our late-night butlers who need the extra energy, and perfect for our newbie butler to help store it all as flab! I’d tell you more about it, but it’s a sec-”

“Foux Pork Roast.”

Another voice perked up. Waddling right behind Pan, James noticed another heavyset fur mumbling loudly to himself while checking the oven: a similarly overweight mongoose whose hefty figure made him resemble a lumpy sack of potatoes more than a mustelid. Said mongoose didn’t even turn his head to address the new butler as he mumbled to himself. “Boiled potatoes, coated with diced mushrooms and wrapped in thick-cut bacon. Mushrooms and potatoes soak up the fat leaking out of the bacon when roasting, leaving a crunchy texture. Recommended serving size-”

“Oh, read off our credit card numbers while you’re at it!” Pan grunted at the mongoose, who was currently rambling about the nutrition info. The rat sighed, rubbing their brow. “Yeah, that’s...that’s what we’re having. Thanks for chiming in, Pot.”

Pot paused, turning towards the group. “Was I not supposed to?”
James wondered if it would be rude to ask if it was intentional the two chefs’ names were Pot and Pan. Actually, he had a lot of questions to ask, more than he could even put into words. No one here resembled what the hyena considered to be a butler, save for maybe Edwin, who resembled four or five butlers by himself. Who was he supposed to emulate here? Certainly not Cin, who was constantly being scolded by the other butlers; even now, the swine was trying to sneak in another slice.

And yet, with all these questions bubbling up, James never found the opportunity to properly voice them. For at that moment, the boar suddenly perked up. “Oh, tha’s right! We gotta get ya unpacked and stuff! Oh, how exciting! I haven’t had a bunkmate in ages!”

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As the tour dragged on, so too did James’ anxiety. Being led from one room to another, the pudgy hyena was getting flashbacks to being introduced to college campus back in the day. Unfortunately, the prospect of making a six figure salary did little to ease James’ apprehension; if anything, the looming pressure of doing a good enough job to warrant such a generous paycheck only added to his stress. He wanted to be a good butler, he wanted to learn all there was to butler-ing.

But this building was so damn big! On top of that, they hadn’t even started the tour to the infinitely larger mansion!

He needed a break. His ADHD brain trying to memorize everything was giving him a headache, not to mention all the walking cramping up his fat legs. Thankfully, the hyena found that opportunity soon enough as the bathrooms came into view.

“And ‘ere we have the cleanin’ stations!” Cin proudly pointed out, his tiny tail wiggling excitedly.

James could certainly see why they were called that. The “stations'' resembled a highschool gym shower room, only significantly larger, as what seemed to be the theme here. However, there weren’t any stalls; which James should have expected, given Cin alone was as wide as the stalls back at his high school. Just one huge room with multiple showerheads and built-in shelves to store shampoos and soaps. The hyena’s ears wilted. This wasn’t a repurposed prison shower, was it?

Oblivious to the fledgling butler’s discomfort, Cin continued. “Archie may love us big folk, but he’s actually real squeamish about BO and the like. Which is a shame, cuz we get all sticky an’ swampy when we’re hard at work outdoors. We hafta shower at least once a day, and not just a quick rinse, either. Gotta scrub beneath the pits fifteen minutes, then-”

“Can I take a shower now?”

James didn’t mean to blurt that out, but at the same time, he really didn’t want to hear lengthy instructions on how to shower. His brain was already overwhelmed enough as it were. Cin didn’t seem to mind the interruption, the boar chuckling softly. “You dun gotta right now if you dun want to! We still got more to see today!”

“Y-yeah, but uh...I haven’t showered in a couple days.” James lied, tail rubbing against his thigh. C’mon, Cin, please take the hint.

“Well…” The portly pig tapped a hoof to his tusk, thinking deeply, before shrugging. “Eeeeh, why not! S’pose I could get extra brownie points for a second shower in a day!” And to James horror, the enormous pig started to unbutton his shirt, his pudgy upper torso starting to squeeze out.

Thankfully, Cin caught on to the horror on the hyena’s face as he paused, tilting his head. “Oh, ya meant by yourself, huh?”

“Um…yeah?”

“Riiiiight, right, cuz yer actually, uh, thin enough to reach everywhere, huh?”

“Heh, right.” Despite how awkward the situation was, James had to admit being called thin at 400 pounds was pretty humorous.

“Sorry about that, lil guy!” Ah, that wasn’t as humorous. “We got a bit of a buddy system when it comes to showerin’! We don’t just use a rag on a stick, ya know; need a friend if you wanna get deeeeeep in those folds! I mean, yer good for now, cuz you can still touch your belly button n’ all, for now, but once yer big enough where it’s tough scritching aaaaall that blubber, feel free to holler for help! We’re all a squeal away, and I dun mind cleaning ya one-”

“Right, right, thanks!” James cried out, ending the conversation short as he turned towards the showers.

---

“I shouldn’t have snapped like that.”

Finally alone in the showers, James was free to converse with himself. The steaming hot water pouring along his large figure did little to ease up the hyena’s stiff body, however. Admittedly, it was nice being able to shower without clumsily stepping in and out of a bathtub, or worrying about water splashing out due to him being roughly as wide as said bathtub, yet even these small comforts did little to quell his looming anxiety.

He wanted to shower so as to run away from Cin.

At least, to run away from today, metaphorically speaking. There was no way he was running away, a fatass like him couldn’t make it halfway across the mansion’s courtyard before passing out from exhaustion!

Seriously, what was he to do? There was no way he could take this job! Barely half of what Cin told him today went in through one ear and right out the other; he briefly remembered the weigh-in chart, the messy kitchen and the two tubby chefs…there was someone sleeping on the couch, maybe? Hell, he couldn’t navigate the butler’s quarters on his own without getting lost, and he was expected to figure out how to clean and care for an entire friggin’ mansion?!

That alone was almost too much for the poor yeen to process, and yet that wasn’t even the worst part.

“Need a friend to get deep into those folds,” Cin had said earlier, the hyena’s round ears folding back just saying it outloud. Slowly, he reached down to grab a hold of his plush belly sides, feeling his chunky fingers sinking into the wet blubber, imagining it as large as Cin’s, or even Edwin’s.

He wouldn’t just be a butler. He would be a butler to a rich, kinky bastard who wanted to see him gradually put on another hundred pounds onto his already 400 pound figure. Archie wanted James fat enough to need help cleaning himself, just like Cin and the others. James already felt his belly getting in the way when he tied his shoes on; how was he supposed to do other household chores the size of a barn? More importantly, was the 6-figure salary and free living conditions really worth ruining his figure any more? At the time, the job felt like such a good idea if it meant getting away from his terrible mother, but now, seeing as though he probably will never have time for videogames again, working all day while living in a common room with nearly a dozen other fatsos.

It was starting to feel a bit like college, and James didn’t last very long there either.

“God, what am I gonna do?”

Closing his eyes, James held his head back in frustration, letting the warm water wash over his face. That simple action alone bunched up his neck folds, a feeling he was all too aware of. “Mom’ll kick my ass if I come home now, but I can’t…what the hell am I doing here? I can’t do this shit. I’m only here because Archie’s a pervert, not because I’m actually worth a damn.”

His heart was starting to race as he spoke out loud. Normally, the hyena would shut out these horrible thoughts with a good gaming session, but unfortunately he didn’t have that luxury in the butler’s quarters. He was alone with his thoughts, and those thoughts were pouring out of him uncontrollably.

He didn’t deserve to be here. He couldn’t manage this job. He was a failure.

“Hey, James! Yer good in there, right, bud?”

James was brought back to reality by the sound of Cin’s voice. Yelping, the pudgy yeen quickly brought his paws over his crotch, but a quick glance over showed the boar wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Rather, the only part of Cin visible was his enormous shadow from the doorway, the big pig simply shouting from around the corner.

“Erh, yeah! I’m good!” The hyena responded, blushing. Cin couldn’t hear him over the sound of the shower, right?

“Ya sure? You’ve been there for a good while now! I’d be a steamed ham if I were in there as long as ya, hah!”

“Yeah, no, I’m good.” The hyena took a deep breath in, gathering up his courage before turning off the showerhead. “Hey, Cin? I’m sorry for snapping like that earlier. I’m, uh, I’m…” What was he? Afraid to get fat? What was the right word to describe how he felt right then and now?

Before he could find that word, he heard the boar laughing from around the corner. “Haharr! Yer good, bud! It’s all a bit overwhelmin’ yeah?”

“Yeah, it is.” James sighed in relief that Cin seemed to understand. “I’m not…well I’m doing my best, but-”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, yer doin’ fine!” Again, Cin’s words seemed to help calm the agitated hyena down. “It’s weird, I know! Gotta clean up a big ol’ house all nice n’ tidy, while also luggin’ around a big ol’ gut the size of a house, heh. It’s very weird!”

“Heheh, yeah, it is.” James was glad he could smile at the situation.

“Well, tell ya what: We’ll cut trainin’ a lil short today, how does that sound? Towel’s waiting for ya outside here, and I put your suitcase outside yer room. Take a right, then a second left; you’ll find it. Once yer dressed, come on down to dinner. Everyone wants to meetcha!”

“Take a right, then second left. Got it!” That conversation was infinitely more refreshing than any shower James took. The hyena couldn’t remember the last time someone had been so understanding with him; normally he was just guilt tripped into feeling lazy and dumb. Cin may not have been the sharpest knife in the kitchen drawer, yet to James, that made him far more easily approachable and likable. Were the other butlers as kind and easy-going as Cin was?

James couldn’t wait to find out.