You went to sleep and had some odd dreams about the Antonio Banderas statue coming alive and attacking a village. Honestly, the dream is kinda mundane considering where it’s located, but it’s still strange and memorable. You wake up in the morning, don’t wake up Claire, instead going to the bathroom to take a dump. You finish and mid way through wiping your ass, teleport happens. You desperately try to finish by the time you’re whited out and end up just grabbing the roll as you’re teleported. You come to in the main box and immediately make a large roll and shove it into your pants as you pull them up. Luckily everyone seems distracted by Clint falling from the sky and hitting the floor again.
“We told you to stop with the fucking mid night teleports!” El Toro yells
“Can’t even shit in piece!” Nikita yells, pants down, pointing at Adam.
“Adam you asshole!” Lucifer yells.
“Oh sorry for waking everyone, but I just got shot out of the freaking sky!” Adam yells

“You got shot?” Maria asks, rubbing her eyes
“No. No I did not, but someone was shooting artillery at me on the way to Baghdad. I think Adad is fine, can’t really tell though cause I can’t fucking talk to him, only point in a direction.”
“Why did he let you ride him if he can’t understand you?” El Toro asks
“Oh, I told Adad that Adam was the god of writing and creativity, Nabu, who had set forth to go and challenge an evil king in order to take control of the land and bring peace and prosperity.” Nikita says, “also another thing” Nikita says, before walking over to Violette, who is barely awake, then grabbing her overly short band t shirt.

She doesn’t react at first, so Nikita yanks it down hard in order to tear a piece off. Violete hits the ground before she realizes what’s happened, as Nikita proceeds to wipe her ass with the ripped shirt, and then toss it into the corner. Nikita then pulls a small flask from her jacket pocket, pours some in her hands, and proceeds to rub it in like hand sanitizer. Violette is on the ground in shock, and is trying to keep the rest of her shirt on with her hands. “So Adam, what’s the rest of the situation?” Nikita says, and Adam continues to stare blankly in shock, then shake his head and come back to his senses.
“Ok.” Adam says “so we got shot at from shells around the Samara area, which based on the map, is the next town over. Right now, I’m at the Dawr pokecenter, and well, I need a team.”
“Oh Dawr. That’s where they found Sadam Huessein.” Nikita says
“He’s still on the loose for us.” Claire says from behind you
“Wait till December.”
“Anyways, who shot at you?” Rick asks
“Iranians I think.” Adam replies
“I’m out.” Nikita says
“Nikita-“
“we went over this, I’m not gonna fight the Iranian military, they’re allies. I mean like, they’re assholes, but it’s a diplomatic issue that I don’t want to cause.”
“I don’t think that that could translate over to your stuff.”
“Not taking any chances. Besides, it’ll probably be a great sort of practice, like clearing a gym. You should bring some other folk to go and participate in it.”
“Eh. Sure, why not.”

“Let’s do this, imma mess up those Persians!” Muscle Mon says
“Alright, so…” Adam says, pacing around a little “we can’t have Nikita, which will be an issue if we face Zodd.”
“Did you see Zodd?” El Toro asks
“No, but I do think he was headed the same way, so it’s not impossible.”
“Great.” Peters says
“I think he’s gunning for a rematch though.” Nikita begins “so if anything, you can probably say that he should wait until I’m brought out.”
“We’ll try that, but if not, we gotta have a contingency plan.” Adam says
“He’s a charizard so he’s weak to water and electric.” You begin
“Rock too.” Muscle Mon adds
“Yeah, and we don’t have any water moves, but we do have electric types and rock too. Muscle Mon is rock type so he should be good, and then we also have two electric types with Rick and Lucifer.”
“Hey, Disaster Queen, didn’t you have the one move that kills things instantly?”
“I have perish song which takes-“
“We’ll bring you.”

“Ok, but we have-“
“One of them is an asshole and the other is a whore.”
“No offense taken.” Rick says
“Take offense!” Adam snaps back
“I get your point but we got to-“ you begin but get cut off
“That’s an if for Zodd. Now I have to construct a team for this.” Adam says “I can take you and Muscle Mon for sure. I’ll take Adad because, even though I can’t understand him, it’s clear he wasn’t too happy with people shooting at him. Any one else volunteer?”
“I’ll go.” El Toro says
“Me too.” Peters adds
“Peters, if I’m leaving Nikita, I’ll leave you here too. I don’t give you two much of a break.”
“I’d think you’d want me with you more, considering Nikita isn’t coming.”

“I think we should be fine, but I’ll get you if they’re shelling us or something like that.”
“Alright.”
“Ok, I need two more.”
“I’ll go, as I’ve had experience with unwanted soldiers.” Edgar says
“Did you fight in the revolution?”
“Funded, not fought, there were too many of the redcoats in my home to go out and start attacking. But, I do know how to talk to them and keep them civil.”
“Alright. And last person?” Adam says, with Rick raising his hand “anyone else?”
“Sure, why the hell not?” Maria says.
“Excellent. We’ll go like tomorrow or something, I’ll get Nikita for help with sizing up what we’re dealing with, then we’ll kick their asses.” Adam says
“I’m taking a shower first.” Nikita says “you just hang with Adad for a while.”
“Alright.” Adam says and leaves the box with Adad again

You are then able to go back to what you were doing, and follow in Nikita’s footsteps by going off to take a shower. Clair begins asking why and you don’t really elaborate beyond you needed to clean yourself. You’re now left with like a day to do whatever, as you’re not going back to sleep. What do you do?

PAGEBREAK

You can’t think of anything, so you just sort of watch tv with Claire after your shower. You joke about how you were brought there mid shit, and how that coulda been a really bad situation, and Claire laughs with you. You then, with nothing better to do, continue to watch Regular Show, hoping to see more insights into Muscle Mon, but mostly because you just find the show entertaining. You watch until you get bored, and then sort of have awkward silence with Claire. There’s a lot of problems between you two right now. Distrust. Dishonesty. Too much stuff. You really want to talk things through, but if shit gets bad, you’ll be thinking of that all day. Tomorrow is your next real fight. No more of this shit with tiny critters, you’re fighting soldiers now, and that scares you.

You want to talk to Claire. You promised you’d tell her everything happening with you, and you think you deserve the same treatment. But, if shits bad, you can’t afford to think about it. So you two just lay in bed, silently. The silence is beyond awkward, and you could share a silence before, just basking in each other’s company, but now, shit just keeps happening.
“Hey Chris?” Claire says, breaking the silence
“What?” You reply
“We’ve been through a ton, real fast, and like why didn’t we end it?” She says, so casually
“What? You want to break up?” You say, sitting up, concerned
“No no no! Not at all. I’m saying like- well, we basically went through a million different scenarios which would have destroyed a normal relationship, but we’re still together.”
“Yeah?”
“So, why didn’t we break up?”
“I don’t want to break up.”
“Yeah, but like. Look at me- look at you. We don’t look, act, or even sound like we did before here. We’re different people, so, why are we still together?”
“We love each other? Right?” You say, getting more concerned each time she speaks

“Yeah. We do… I don’t know what I’m asking you. I just feel like, if it were anyone else, they’d have broken it off. Like, this isn’t normal relationship stuff, I can only think of this level of devotion in like one group of people?”
“What group?”
“Newly weds.”
“Newly weds?”
“Yeah. I mean like, we still have some kinks we have to work out, maybe need a round of couples therapy-“
“What are you saying?”
“We’ve stuck it through this long. We’ve went through a ton of hurdles, had great conversation, and even when we don’t really understand ourselves, we’re there to understand each other. We’re like an inseparable unit, so let’s make it official.”
“You’re-“ you choke up, begging to tear up.
“Chris, let’s get married.” She says, also beginning to tear up.

You reach over and hug her, for about a solid 5 minutes. Afterwards, you begin to speak again
“Fuck you Claire.” You say
“Hm?”
“You’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been, but I was trying so fucking hard to keep a clear head before we went up against the military. I’m not gonna be able to focus on anything beyond this tomorrow.” You say, and she laughs
“Just hang back. Adam will understand. You work yourself too hard, let someone else do something for you for once.”
“I’ll get Maria to fight on my behalf or something.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah…” you say, crawling up to Claire, and beginning to snuggle in the big spoon position, then changing to little spoon, due to her tail making it like you’re hugging one of those scrubbers in car washes. “But I gotta ask, with this on my mind, I’m not gonna be able to focus tomorrow, anyways, so fuck it, what happened between you and Donut?”
“Oh fuck… yeah… so…”
“Yeah?”
“Well, you know how she… he? I don’t fucking know what all the gender swapped people go as nowadays. Like, you and Peters made it abundantly clear that-“
“Claire.”
“Ok. Look, don’t do anything about this, but like, Donut had a reason for being on your ass- and, and, I don’t agree with it. I don’t want anything to do with that reason, I don’t agree with it-“
“Claire.”
“Ok. Fuck. So, Donut dislikes you cause Donut is jealous of you?”

“How the fuck is Donut jealous of me, of all people?”
“Well, you have something Donut doesn’t.”
“A vagina? Do they miss that?”
“No… you have… me.” Claire says, and you stay silent for a second, thinking about what that means
“So, Donut is bitter cause they’re single?”
“No, they’re not jealous of you having a relationship, they are jealous that you have ME.”
“Oh… oh. Ok? And what? Did they just tell you this?”
“No… I got- you know what, like, let’s just-“
“Claire. What happened?”
“Ok. Ok. So, Donut told Maria, Maria accidentally let it slip, Maria tried to convince Donut to confess, and yeah, and so, that’s about it.”
“So Donut doesn’t know you know?”
“Well, not really.”
“Claire, what does that mean?”
“Well, Donut kinda told me too. Like, in a bad way.” She says, and you stare at her, trying to figure out what happened “don’t be mad!”
“What am I not supposed to be mad about?”
“I didn’t take any of Donut’s offers.”
“Claire, what does that mean?”
“Donut Never touched me, I never-“
“What the fuck did they try to do?!”
“They like, flashed me- Chris, please don’t.”
“Finish explaining.”
“Fuck. Ok. They flashed me, said I needed a real man, yada yada- look, we didn’t do anything, in fact, I slammed her head into a table just for suggesting anything. I’m not unfaithful.”

“Claire. What happened?”
“I said- fuck Chris, I don’t want to think about it. Her dick glew like a fucking glowstick.”
“Donut showed you their cock?!”
“Chris I didn’t-“
“I’m gonna fucking kill that midget!” You say, hopping out of bed
“Chris!” Claire yells, grabbing your arm
“FUCK! WHAT?!” You yell back
“Please don’t, she’s… she’s stronger-“
“Claire- CAN YOU NOT GIVE ME A FUCKING EMOTIONAL OVERLOAD FOR ONE FUCKING DAY?!”
“What?”
“Jesus- you just- ah! Fuck. I get I asked, but what the fuck? How the fuck am I supposed to hear shit like that and not do something? I nearly killed a guy for fucking hitting on you. What the hell am I supposed to do?”
“I’m sorry, you just, you just kept persisting.”
“AAAAH! Fuck? What am I supposed to do? You don’t want me to do something about it, so what? Like I can’t be mad at you, you didn’t do anything wrong there- but the wedding stuff, then that- I just- fuck Claire! Are we gonna need another round of Rick therapy? Do we need to go to the Nazi’s place just to make any fucking progress?”
“We made progress.”
“Did we? I can’t tell, it’s never just ups and downs, backs and forths. It’s like every time any thing happens between us, I’m like in a jar that’s getting shaken up, but it’s full of like… coke or something. What am I supposed to feel here? Hate? Love? No, I’m just a fucking mess, you’re a fucking mess, and it’s never a good time here to be a mess, but we- just. Fuck. I want to marry you, I do, but God damn, your timing sucks. Dude, I just can’t right now.”
“I’m sorry Chris.”

“Whatever. Whatever. Let’s focus on the positives. We want a marriage right?”
“Yeah.”
“So are you proposing, am I?”
“I don’t know. We should probably ask someone who’s married.”
“Whatever. Just love me tonight. Fuck it, it can wait till the morning- no, it can wait till I get back.”
“Yeah… but-“
“No buts. None. I’ll make it back. I refuse to die just yet. I can’t die when I’m this fucking close to true happiness. I’m coming back, no matter what.” You say, and get back in bed, with Claire hugging you tightly.

PAGEBREAK

You wake up in the morning, without interruptions, laying in bed for a second, expecting some Sandler brand annoyance. But no teleports come, leading to you just sitting there for a second. Claire is still asleep, so, by instinct, you go to the bathroom as quickly as possible in order to avoid an incident like yesterday’s. After that, you come back into the main room and find Claire hasn’t stirred. You find now is likely a good time to make breakfast for the two of you. You look through the fridge and find an obscenely large quantity of milk in glass bottles. You give one a sniff and it smells vaguely of ammonia. You stick your finger in and taste it, and it’s weirdly salty. It’s also way more viscoucious than milk and isn’t completely white. Maybe it’s like a baste or some yogurt or something. You’ll ask Claire later. You can’t find any other ingredients besides eggs, and decide it might be best to see if anyone else has something. You go over to Maria’s and knock on the door, but get no answer. So you leave your box and head into the main one. In the main box you find Peters having a conversation with Edgar.

“Hey guys, how’s it going.” You ask
“Alright, I suppose.” Peters says
“Jitters are effecting me more than I would fancy.” Edgar replies
“You’ll be fine. You’ve learned your moves right? We actually know what we’re doing now.” You say
“Incase you don’t, have this.” Peters says, handing you a pistol. You’re not the biggest gun guy, but you’re fairly sure it’s a Luger.
“What’s an American soldier doing with a German gun?”
“Taking it home as a trophy. Fucker who had it shot my friend with it. Fucker was some ss cocksucker, and I’ve already sent his hat back to my friend’s family.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
“Just something that happens in war. I’d say there’s probably someone on his side that wants me dead now, but ss don’t have souls, so, who knows.”
“Oh. Well, thank you.”
“Just bring it back once you’re done. It’s not a trophy if I don’t have it after all this is done.”
“Sure. I will. Oh- hey Peters, I got some questions.”
“‘Bout?”
“Well firstly, I need some food, all we have is this weird milk, and you have a farm-“
“Ain’t no animals on it.”
“I’m going to leave.” Edgar says “I’ll see you again when we depart.”
“Bye Edgar.” You call as he walks away
“See you when you’re back.” Peters says
“Ok. Back on topic. I have milk or something like that, and eggs. Nothing more. Do you at least have bread, because I can’t find any?”
“I ain’t got much food. Mostly been going to Nikita’s box, considering they have a city, and they’re ok with it.”

“Alright, let’s head there then.”
“Sure, why not.”
“Also, I have another question, more of an advice thing.” You say as the two of you begin walking over.”
“What about?”
“Well. Claire laid on me that we should get married.”
“Come again?”
“Last night, she said we’d basically stuck it out through everything you could and couldn’t stick out, in a relationship, and we’ve seen each other at our worst, but stuck together anyways, so what’s stopping us from sealing the deal.”
“Well congrats then. I’m assuming you said yes.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? Of course I said yes- but like what should we do about it?”
“What do you mean?” Peters asks, as you enter Nikita’s box
“Like what should we do for this wedding?”
“You are aware I’m not married, right?” Peters says, as he leads you down a road, that has signs you can’t read.
“You’re just Like, older, and probably-“
“I am damn well younger than you are, I’m possibly the youngest here, and you’re asking me questions you should ask your father.”
“Well I’m an orphan right now-“
“Then ask someone who’s married, anyone. I think Adam, Nikita, and Edgar are married.”
“I don’t remember Nikita saying she was married.”
“She is.
“Well shit then…” you say, as Peters stops at a store and goes in. The atmosphere is weird. It has a scent of cabbage and is dimly lit, with some Russian music playing somewhere far off.

The place is a fully stocked corner-store market. Inside, you find a variety of ingredients you’re looking for (lucky it had pictures), and have Peters help bring it back to your box. The two of you go into the house and unload, and you start cooking. You let Peters join you for breakfast, as he says he doesn’t have anything better to do. You spend about 30 minutes cooking before Claire comes down, and gets excited about the breakfast. You end up cooking hash browns, eggs, Portuguese sausage, bacon, and French toast. You know how to cook pretty well, mostly due to necessity from a neglectful father, and have done it for Claire before, but not this much. You sit down for breakfast, and conversation starts

“Kinda shocked you’re still here.” Claire says
“Me too. Hopefully that’s just Nikita convincing Sandler to give us time, after yesterday’s… incident.” You reply
“As much as I don’t Like the pink one, she did not deserve that. I like Nikita, but she’s definitely got that sort of sadism in her.” Peters says
“Yeah. But why do you defend Violette and then call her ‘the pink one’, it sounds sorta derogatory.” Claire says
“Forgot her name is all. I talk with- what? Four people here? And then everyone else is doing their own thing, so I will admit, some names slip my mind.”
“Anyone else you forgot?” You ask
“The fat squirrel.”
“Dakota.” Claire says
“Ah. Like the state. It is a pretty name, might name a kid after it, if I have any.”
“Planning to give birth?” You ask, sarcastically
“Nah. Not really planning on anything besides making it through each day, at this point. I’ve got no clue how things will go after we win, so, can’t really plan anything.”
“True.”
“Hey Peters, I gotta ask, you live on a farm-“ Claire begins
“I am in no way an expert on farming. I know some, not all.” Peters says
“Ok, so, do you know if we have milk in our fridge?”
“So you don’t know either?” You say
“Yeah. It’s fucking salty.”
“I’ll see.” Peters says, walking over to the fridge, opening it, taking out one of the bottles, then opening it, taking a whiff, and closing it fast. “You have around ‘bout ten gallons of goat semen in your fridge. What in God’s name is the reason for this?”
“That’s cum?” You say
“How do you know it’s specifically goats’?” Claire asks

“We had goats on the farm.” Peters says “they’re cheaper than cattle, and behaved with the sheep. I had to deal with them during breeding season, I’m damn well an expert on goat cum.”
“You were an expert after all.” Claire says jokingly
“Yeah, seems so, but why do you have so much in your refrigerator?”
“I- wait, why do you know what a fridge is? That came after your time, right?”
“Nikita told me.”
“Ok. Well, anyways, I don’t know, I don’t think Disaster Queen knows, it’s not been there the whole time, so maybe- that bitch!”
“What?“ you say, stuffing bacon in your mouth, trying to forget you had a taste of goat cum earlier today
“Who else would shove that much cum- any amount of cum, in my fridge, but Donut.”
“Are you fucking serious?” You say, then hear knocking on the door. You get up to open it, eating as you walk. You’re not sure you buy that Donut did this. The how just doesn’t make sense for you. You open the door, and find Maria.
“Iddly diddly neighborinos, smelled something wonderful cooking and thought I’d try to bum some off ya.” Maria says
“Sure, there’s plenty.” You say, leading her in
“Oh hi Peters.”
“Mornin’” Peters replies
“Woah! Is that milk or goat gunk?”
“Yeah, it’s cum.” You say
“Do you know something about this?” Claire says
“Season 16, Episode 3, titled Nanny Goats. Peter gets a herd of goats to mow the lawn, and later milks the goats. Problem is, the goats are all male, so, ya know.” Maria says, nonchalantly
“Your Film and tv trivia is pissing me off.”
“Well, I’m a big fan of family guy. It’s stupid funny, that’s my favorite thing.”
“That’s why you’re such a big fan of Adam Sandler?”
“He’s not just romcoms and slap stick humor. Wait till Uncut Gems comes out for you. It’s a fucking ride, and goes way beyond any preconceived notions of the master actor: Adam Sandler. Comedy may be the hardest thing to consistently pull off as an actor. Anyone can do drama, but a select few can be a good comedian. That’s how you get shitshows like amy schumer.” Maria says, and she and Claire continue their back and forth.
“Fuck are they talking about?” Peters whispers
“No clue.” You reply
“I think I’m going to leave.”
“Oh shit, hey, uhh… Chris- fuck! I mean Disaster Queen!” Claire says, accidentally saying your name

“Look, my reasons for keeping my name secret don’t apply to someone who’s alive before any living member of my family is born.” You say
“Ok- wait, who else is alive? I thought you’re the last-“
“You remember Gramps, right?”
“Yeah, I thought he died.”
“Dementia basically did that- but whatever. There’s no chance in hell that Peters is one of the people I have issues with, outside of here.”
“Who knows, future me might have a reason to show up to your door and blow your brains out.” Peters says, jokingly
“That’s either going to be the easiest thing ever or basically impossible depending on what happens after we- never mind. What were you saying, Claire?”
“Can you have the talk with Peters?” Claire says
“The talk?”
“Yeah, you know, about the… new additions and whatnot?” She says, likely meaning you having common grounds with Peters over gender flip flopping.
“Trying to not have too-“
“Chris, it’ll do you some good to get help.” She says.

Do you have a talk with Peters about your gender and struggles the both of you are having?

PAGEBREAK

“Nah.” You say “got enough on my plate right now, we’ll do it another time.”
“Am I missing something?” Peters replies
“Probably not- oh, Peters, what do you do when not in the party?”
“I like talking with Edgar, it’s cool to hear what life was like way back, and besides that, there’s Nikita, who’s a little too enthusiastic about warfare, but she says it’s cause her people dominate the battle field, so she sees rarely any failures.”
“Where’d she say she lives again?”
“She says her nation’s capital city is the capital city of our nation.”
“Dc?”
“Sorta, she says there’s around 7 cities in dc, but the white house is the capital building and houses the entirety of the leaders. Congress has about a thousand people living in it. She says that’s where her people first took.”

“So she just lives in the capital building?”
“No, well, not anymore. She said everyone just used to live in those two, and her other cities were the Smithsonian, some other museums, an aircraft carrier that’s partially capsized, some Hoover town built around a bomb, a cave full of children, some shacks where the cave children moved to when they grew up, a highway, and then some former slaver town. They have actual cities now and new infrastructure built around the area, but essentially, they just lived in a bunch of abandoned buildings and then managed to get other people living in abandoned buildings to join them.”
“Sounds very Zombie Movie Like.” Maria says
“A what?”
“Beyond your time.”
“Alright then.”
“You take not knowing stuff really well.” Claire says
“Yeah, well I have to get used to it. There’s a lot of stuff I’ll probably get in time, and I can’t expect to just understand what everyone knows, 70 years later.” Peters says
“I get you.” You say “gotta be hard to comprehend that shit, I’m having a hard time comprehending the country just collapses like 20 years from now.”
“What causes that, even?” Maria asks
“According to Nikita, the Catholic Church retaking power, 10 plagues, and the resurgence of communism and facism.”

“The Catholic Church does what?” Maria says
“Something about a new pope who starts a crusade and beats down the current dominant powers in the span of a year.”
“So, Vatican City beats the US? I don’t buy that.”
“I think it was a mix of Spain and Portugal mostly, then millions from other countries.”
“And they beat the US?”
“I think so.”
“Bullshit.”
“Hey, I’m just telling you what I’ve been told.”
“There is no way in hell that fucking Spain beat the US.”
“Nikita said Spain struck cause the president was senile and people had less faith in the government than most people had when they’d overthrow theirs.”
“Hmm.” Maria says, with a look of concern on her face. “Ok, that does sound about right.”
“Well-“ Peters begins, then the white starts to fade in “was wondering when that was gonna happen.” He utters as everything turns white, then returns, leaving you in the main box.

You look around, finding no one is indecent, exposed, or falling out of the sky. Adam stands before you, not in his usual basketball shorts, t shirt, and tired expression. He’s wearing a UN helmet, smeared with blood, and having what looks like the marks from a bullet ricocheting off the side. He also has on beige cargo pants, a used and bloodied bullet proof vest, and some sunglasses.
“Damn Sandler, did you shoot someone?” Maria says jokingly
“No.” He replies “but, someone did. I got these from three different corpses.”
“Nothing says accessorizing like grave robbing. Three different corpses you looted to get your fit. Bravo.” Rick says, raising a toast with a wine glass
“It’s what, ten AM? It’s too early for your bullshit… and for drinking.” Adam says
“In this situation, it’s never too late or too early to get shitfaced. I’m simply having a wine pairing with a charcuterie board and rabbit.”
“Very classy. Why so early then? It’s not like you’re going out to potentially die today?”
“Someone, and you know who, asked for a pbr. There’s two people who drink that, those who have no class, and Jeffery Dahmer-“
“Ah yes, nothing says class like a pedo cannibal.” Nikita says
“Canni- wait shit, wrong guy. I meant Ted Bundy.”
“I mean, you got the right drink to person, but, wrong label for the cannibal rapist trailer trash.”

“N, I would ask why you know more about serial killers than someone who ripped their entire personality from one, but-“ Adam begins
“Criminal psychology classes at university.”
“I… alright. Yeah, so, we have some AA guns to down. I’d love to chat, but I’d love even more to not have to listen to Rick speak for another minute. Let’s get to it, and hopefully everyone makes it back, so I can keep having a Nazi-less party.”
“I’m not a fucking Nazi!” Rick yells
“Really?”
“Yeah. Hitler was a failure-“
“NO! That’s it, you’re done! Go back to your room, go have your cheese, your wine, your rabbit, and your blue cat hooker!”
“I’m not a fucking hooker!” Lucifer yells back
“Oh sorry, hookers charge.” Adam says in the voice
“Fuck you dude. You’re a shit tier actor anyways, and an even shittier leader!”
“Oh thanks, didn’t consider that. It’s almost as if I would have chosen a different career path if I wanted to be put in charge of everyone’s lives and make decisions for them- and Rick, if you make one fucking joke about Jews and Hollywood, I swear, I’m throwing you on the first land mine I encounter!”

“Oh please, it’s not a Jew thing for the control of the government. It’s just that-“
“No! Stop. Cheese board, go have it! I’ve had enough of you for today.” Adam says, pointing in the direction of Rick’s box.
“Fine.” Rick says, grabbing Lucifer by the collar and dragging him with. “Ok, now that he’s not pissing me off, Muscle Mon, Disaster Queen, Maria, Edgar, and Adad, you’re with me.” Adam says, and Nikita translates for Adad. And now begins your first real battle.