I meant to do a full color pic for this, but a lot of stuff happened and I don't have time

Anyways, this update I have been waiting to do for a long while.


After you exit the box, you end up in a poke center. Upon leaving the center, you find it’s in the middle of a small town, with a bunch of farms near by. It’s a weird place to have a center, as you’d assume it wouldn’t get too much attention here.
“Where are we again?” Maria asks
“Ad-Dawr.” Adam says “it’s where they caught Saddam.”
“Yooooo, I want to go in his spider hole!” Muscle Mon yells
“His fucking what?” You ask
“Hole in the ground.” Maria says
“Can you show me where that was? Like if we get out of this, I can tell the government whe-“
“You’ll get sent to Guantanamo bay for knowing, to see why you know the location of the number 2 most wanted man in the world.” Maria says jokingly
“Hmmm. Maybe that’s a good point.”

“Regardless, we shouldn’t be here that long.” Adam says “our next point is the city of Samarra, as it has an Iranian AA gun posted there, that’s been shooting down flying Pokémon. Unfortunately I got shot at by them, and I hope that we can manage to disable it so we don’t have to walk everywhere constantly. They are based near the great mosque, in an attempt to defend it from terrorists. They have a lot of spotters on the giant tower. To my understanding, the terrorists and Iran have different sects of Islam and the Iranian one is the same as the one the mosque was built for. So, terrorists want it gone, and from what I gathered from N’s translations from villagers, the aa guns are for fighting flying types and missiles.”
“If we destroy the aa guns are the terrorists gonna destroy the mosque?” Maria asks
“Maybe. We have to destroy the terrorists too, remember? So maybe, maybe not. Who knows at this point.”

“Alright bros, let’s do this!” Muscle Mon yells, then begins walking in a direction. Adam then tells him it’s the other way, and the group begins approaching the city. As you get in range, after walking down a broken highway, frequented by military vehicles and civilian ones on the brink of breaking down, flanked by farms upon farms, you begin to see the tower. It pierced the horizon as you March south. The city around it looks normal, but the mosque itself is a thing of legend.
“Hey Edgar, is that the sinner’s tower of Babylon?” Maria asks
“No. Though I have not been here, I know of the tower. Was the largest building in the world, and was maybe made after the Tower of Babel.” Edgar says
“Why do you know that?”
“Pub arguments about the size of buildings.”
“You know, the beer brand Guiness made a book about the world records to solve those arguments.” El Toro says
“Wait, that’s made by Guiness?” You say, shocked
“Yeah, it’s in the name. Dumb ass.”
“Ah, Guiness is still around? Good to hear. It’s a lovely drink.” Edgar says “Irish are a great people for their inventions”

“They don’t invent much though. They invented whiskey, then nothing for 700 years before they made chocolate milk.” El Toro says
“Do you really need anything else.” Adam says jokingly
“Also, I think the Guiness you drink today may taste the same as the stuff from Edgar’s time cause of how consistent they try to be.”
“Bro, like I get none of us are religious, but like, alcohol is Haram, and we’re approaching a mosque.” Muscle Mon says, causing Maria to laugh. After some more walking, you get in range of the mosque. Around it is closed down, with a clear presence of soldiers. The Iranian flag flies with the Iraqi, but not totally. Looking closer, there’s a poke ball on the Iraqi flag, and the Iranian one has a weird sword with an eye on it in the center. You guess the flags are adjusted for this world. You get to the gate and are stopped by a bunch of Iranians. They start talking at you in an unknown language, until Adam says “American”, then one walks over and he can speak English.

“The Mosque is closed due to terrorist activities. I do not understand why you Americans sight see in a war zone.” The guard says
“We aren’t sight seeing, we were flying to Baghdad and got shot at.” Adam replies
“Flying from?”
“Mosul.”
“Mosul? You really are doing terrorism sightseeing.” The guard laughs “how is Mosul?”
“Well, there’s no real strong presence, since a giant charizard… not mine, but a different one, had massacred the terrorists hiding in the mosque there. Speaking of which, he was headed this way, I think.”
“Charizard? Big horns, red eyes?”
“Yes actually.”
“Shot him over the Tigris.”
“Oh… is he dead?”
“Don’t know. Stuck here. Why you here?”
“We want to fly to Baghdad, but can’t with your AA guns shooting at us.” Adam finishes and the guard laughs, says something to the rest of the guards, and they laugh too
“What do you expect us to do?”
“Give us Passage?”

“You? Why? Who are you?”
“Adam fucking Sandler!”
“Ah! From Grown Ups two?”
“And Grown Ups one. But yes.”
“Ah. Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler. Normally we would say fuck off, stupid American, but you are lucky. Lt Shakibaii has favorite movie of Grown Ups Two.”
“Really? It’s not one of my best ones.”
“Ok ok. I bring you. I show the lieutenant.” The guard says and begins bringing you towards the tower. You begin ascending, and find many guards at attention. Staring at you.
“What are they doing?” Adam says as the guards begin running up the stairs at different intervals.
“Getting ready to battle.”
“Battle?”
“Your Pokémon seem strong. Show us what the Americans can cook up.”
“Fine by me.” Adam says “you guys ready?” Adam says and everyone but Adad agrees, likely cause of language barriers.

“Alright. I will be your first opponent! Go, Gandalf the Grey!” The guard yells, pulling a poke ball from a pouch in his uniform and throws it on the ground, summoning a grey-purple cat Pokémon with a grey wizard hat.
“Oh my god that Espurr is adorable!” Maria says
“Alright. We can beat a little cat.” Adam says “who’s going first?”
Do you volunteer to fight first or let someone else

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“I’m gonna destroy this cat!” You say
“Alright. Hit it with shadow claw!” Adam yells, so you do. You slash at the cat , with your claw-like nails, and the black-purple blades of energy hit the thing hard. Luckily it doesn’t get shredded to pieces, but it faints immediately.
“Mādar jendeh!” The guard yells at you, and you watch as the cat is beamed back into his poke ball. He then pulls another ball from a different pocket and activates it “Go! Gandalf the White!” He yells as a white-blue cat is beamed from the poke ball. This one is taller than the last, probably the next in an evolutionary line. This one wears a white robe.
“It’s just a Meowstic! Cut em up Queen!” Maria yells
“Hit it with another Shadow Claw!” Adam yells. You throw another shadow claw and the thing gets launched into the tower. You hear a gasp from its mouth.
“You are not dead yet Gandalf. Hit them with Psychic!” The guard yells, and so the cat beams a large pillar of pure energy at you. It misses completely, firing off towards the river into the air. “Oskol!” The guard yells.
“Finish em!” Adam yells, so, as the cat stands up, using the stairs as a point of balance, you simply deck them in the back of the head. They flop on the ground, and then the guard bows his head in defeat, shielding his face with his hand, and recalling the cat with his other.
“You may proceed.” The guard says.

The group begins walking up the stairs, past the guard, then the guard yells
“After my last Mon! Go Monty Python and the Holy Grail’s Black Knight!” The guard yells, casting his poke ball, unleashing a blackish purple crow thing. It has red eyes and wears a blackened metal helmet
“Looks like a corviknight.” Maria says “send in Adad, it’s weak to fire!”
“Alright. DQ, get outa there!” Adam says, then points to Adad, who knows exactly what to do
“Monty Python and the Holy-“ the guard begins, but the long name takes longer to say than it takes Adad to summon inferno. The crow is engulfed in flames, nearly the same as the guard. Adad lets out a solid 10 seconds of unbridled fire upon that bird. After he finishes, you see the guard had put his face to the pillar and his back is on fire. He immediately runs down the tower and begins rolling on the ground to put the flames out. The bird sits there for a second, before falling off the side of the stairs, flopping onto the ground.
“I’m no expert, but I think we won this one.” Adam says then begins to walk up the stairs further, as Muscle Mon visibly cringes from that line.

He walks a while, before getting to the next guard, standing there next to a white and blue duck looking thing, wearing a fez and grey suit. He looks down at everyone in disgust.
“No fucking clue what that one is.” Maria says
“The Pokémon phone says it’s a quaxley” Adam replies. The guard then starts speaking in Iranian, and the only two words you can make out is: Benito Mussolini “Adad hang back, that’s water, I think you’re-“ Adam begins, as Adad sends out a circular blast, slamming the fascist bird off the tower, into the ground below, leaving the fez behind.
“Kir!” The guard yells at you, then mumbles to himself. You see him beam back his ducked up Pokémon, then he begins yelling again. You make out the words “Blue Meanie”. He then sends out a hariyama with weird black cloth antenna, drawn on black sunglasses, a torn blue shirt, and a lot of badly done blue body paint.
“Tell Adad to use fly. They’re weak to flight.” You whisper to Adam, as the Hariyama begins flexing. Adam then looks to Adad, makes a flappy motion, and then Adad spreads his wings, causing Adam to nudge people down the stairs a little. With a single flap, Adad launches into the air, then continues, going higher and higher, till you can’t make him out. The Hariyama seems confused too, looking to the sky, then looks at Adam. In a Split Second, a Flash of orange swoops down and launches the Hariyama off the tower, going about a hundred feet away, as it slams the ground hard. The guard then bows his head in defeat, and beams the Hariyama back into his poke ball.

The group then begins walking up the stairs some more, until the next guard shows up on the path. He stands there with a miltank in a pink shirt, beige vest, and a cowboy hat, with long curly black hair.
“Prince?” You say jokingly
“That’s gotta be Lil Nas X.” El Toro says
“It’s fucking Cowboy Curtis, you dipshits.” Maria says “fucking Prince- fucking Lil Nas- what the hell about that screams either of those?”
“The hair.” You say
“The hair? It’s not a fucking perm.”
“There’s like one cowboy I’ve seen who wears pink.” El Toro replies
“Lil Nas X isn’t even the only black cowboy who wears pink. Fucking Cowboy Curtis got him there too.”
“Cowboy Curtis?” Adam says, pointing at the miltank, which causes the guard to nod. “Maria, how did you guess that, and how does someone of your generation know who that is?”
“Matrix fan.” Maria replies “that and I’ve got their pattern down. Jambi is next.”
“How do you know that.”
“I’ll explain in a sec. But, imma kick his ass!”
“Maria, you’re immediately trying to fight the Pokémon as soon as you find out they’re based on a black person. Pretty racist.” El Toro says sarcastically
“Fuck you dude!” She says giggling “I just have fighting type moves, you know the shit he’s weak too. That and I fucking hate Peewee Herman.”
“Fair.”

“Alright Maria, what are you gonna hit him with?” Adam says
“High jump kick.” Maria replies
“Have at it.” Adam says, as Maria runs down a few steps, then charges back up, as the miltank prepares to attack. Her kick is magnificent, flying directly under the miltank’s chin. She does almost a full splits as the kick lands, and the miltank’s head flies back. She then lands, as the miltank falls forward and begins rolling down the staircase. It was funny at first, but you’re like two stories up and that fall may kill you, or the weight of the miltank rolling over you could too. Being smaller fucking sucks. But there are advantages, sorta. You’re fast, and quickly move out of the way, going towards the center of the tower and pulling Adam with, as El Toro stops the Miltank with both hands. It doesn’t take long for the guard to beam the miltank back, causing El Toro to fall forward.

The guard then starts talking, and sure enough, as Maria stated before, you hear the words “Jambi the Genie” as a green painted pokemon, wearing a turban, with disembodied arms and several gold rings.
“Yeah, kinda expected a hoopa for that.” Maria says “it’s a legendary though, and probably pretty powerful. DQ or Edgar should take this, it’s weak to dark and ghost type moves.”
Should you take this or let Edgar fight Jambi? You both have dark type moves but yours are significantly stronger and you have more than 1

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“I’ll take him!” You say
“Oh will you?” The hoopa replies in a whisper
“You can talk?”
“Maybe you’re just hearing things.”
“No? Right guys?” You say and the others look at you confused
“You really are just hearing things.”
“N- no… shut up!” You yell getting a little angry
“Dude, he’s just whispering.” Maria says “fucking moron.” She finishes and the hoopa begins to giggle. Hearing this, you throw a sucker punch at him, in a fit of rage. He, however, conjures up a ring, and puts it where you’re punching, while holding up another to the pillar. Your hand goes through the first and out the second, smashing into the pillar, causing immense pain and leaving blood behind. You yank your hand out of the ring, and grip it in agony.

“How silly, how silly indeed. What a fool to think you had a chance with me. Throw another, and we’ll see, if that one works.” The hoopa giggles
“Fucking bastard!” You yell
“Such salt for such a small creature.”
“You’re like a foot tall.” Maria yells
“In this form.”
“Whatever little man. Queeny, avoid the rings and don’t let them unleash their true form!”
“Why don’t I get a second form?” You say under your breath.
“Want a second form, do we? Make me faint, and I’ll show you where to find one, if you can.”
“Bullshit.”
“It’s the truth. I know where to get one.”
“And I just have to make you faint?”
“Yep. Give it your all, I am a genie, but with no lamp to rub, but I can still grant a wish.”
“And it doesn’t matter how I do this?”
“You are correct. Got a way in mind?” The hoopa says, making a flirtatious face.
“Yeah.” You say, pulling the Luger from your jacket and shooting the hoopa in the body, three times, before dropping the gun, in pure agony. That hand has to be broken, unfortunately it’s your dominant one. The thing looks shocked, and flips to the ground. You can tell it’s not dead because it has the swirly eyes thing.

“Where did you get a gun?” Adam yells
“Peters.” You say
“And what did I say, you just-“
“IT BROKE MY FUCKING HAND!”
“Well… just take it easy then. It’s best not to shoot soldiers, cause, ya know, their guns are bigger.”
“It’s not the size of the dog, or it’s bark, it’s the bite that matters.” El Toro says sarcastically
“They have machine guns.”
“And they’re trained to use them. It’s like putting a chihuahua against a wolf. This is a stupid analogy.” Maria adds
“Wolves aren’t actually all that aggressive. I have seen many be very friendly.” Edgar says
“It’s ok to hate wolves even if you are one.” El Toro replies
“You know who else hates wolves?” Muscle Mon begins
“Not the time.” Adam replies swiftly
“My mom!” Muscle Mon exclaimed, which causes you to chuckle. The guard then beams the hoopa back, and begins walking down the tower.

“You bullied him into leaving.” Maria says, jokingly
“Wah, wah. If a soldier can’t handle guns, why’s he a soldier.” You reply
“The draft?” El Toro says
“I don’t know if Iran has a draft.”
“Probably does.” Maria says “it’s Iran after all.”
“What is Iran again?” Edgar asks
“Persia.”
“I see.”
“Onto the next one” Adam says, as he begins walking up the stairs. The next guard you approach stands there, two balls in hand, and casts them both. The first is a grey and black painted pokemon with a red visor above his eyes, and a peach painted face. He has blades on his wrists, two sets on his abdomen, and what looks like an ax head on his forehead.
“Robocop!” Maria yells “that’s an odd take on him with a bisharp.”

The next is what looks like a metal gardevoir. With metal legs, and a metal skirt. They have red glowing blades on their gauntlets. They also wear a leather jacket, and sunglasses. As they walk a little closer, you see they have a shotgun. A lever action shotgun. They then take off the sunglasses, revealing glowing red eyes.
“Arnie?” You ask
“Yeah, that’s gotta be the terminator. I have no fucking clue how he got a metal gardevoir, though.”
“It’s listed as an iron valiant.” Adam says.
“That shits fucking sick.” El Toro says, and the guard raises his hand, with two fingers up. He probably isn’t saying he wants peace, that likely means he wants to fight two people at once.
“He’s probably looking for a double battle.” Maria says
“Probably.” Adam says. “Adad is going in. Disaster Queen, sit this out, we don’t need you breaking any other bones.”
“I’ll take him!” El Toro says
“You’re not resistant and you don’t do extra damage.”
“Does anyone else?”
“No… we don’t have any- oh Maria, your high jump kick-“
“I’m not going to full force kick a robot!” Maria replies, annoyed
“Fine, El Toro, Adad, fight them.” Adam says, pointing to Adad and then pointing to robocop. The bisharp gets into a fighting stance, as Adad inhales really hard, and then releases inferno again, one shotting robo cop. This then prompts the terminator to take out the shotgun and shoot Adad.

Adad’s armor deflects the buckshot, as El Toro tackles the robot, knocking them both to the ground, and grabbing the shotgun. El Toro then gets out of the way, yanking the jacket from the iron valiant, and pulling it over its head. The terminator gets the jacket off, just in time to be hit by inferno, sending the robot to the ground below, in a ball of fire. The guard then sends them both back, and calls out two others.
The first is an espeon, wearing a yellow shirt, with Star Trek insignia.
“Captain Kirk?” Maria says “not seeing that one. First two were solid choices, but an espeon doesn’t really fit.” She says to the guard, who doesn’t even blink at her. The next is Darth vader, rather his head. It is a giant floating metal Darth vader helmet, with hands and a ring over his head, like a disembodied bell.
“Yeah, you put a lotta thought into everyone of these, but that espeon. That’s- what? A bronzog?” Maria says
“That’s what it says” Adam replies
“Steel and psychic make sense for Darth Vader, but, so does dark psychic- or dark steel.”
“Yeah.” Adam says, then looks at the pokephone again “Hey, Disaster Queen, remember what I said earlier about taking it easy?”
“Yeah.” You say
“Says here that you’re immune to psychic, and both are weak to dark.”

“And you think I’m gonna be ok?” You ask
“Just don’t go punching any walls.” Adam says jokingly
“And is Edgar coming with? He’s dark too.”
“No, he’s rock, he just has dark moves, so, anyone else really, cause it’s bad typing if he joins you.” Adam finishes. Who should you fight along side with?

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You choose to fight along side El Toro. The two of you ready up, and for once you don’t attack first. The espeon’s gem lights up, same with El Toro’s tail, as he’s lifted by it into the air. His first reaction is to panic, grasping at anything he can, flailing around. You then cast shadow ball at the Espeon. You see a sense of fear in their eyes as the ball hits them right in the face. They’re thrown into the wall, and El Toro is dropped to the stairs, injuring himself. Darth Vader then hits you with Psychic which feels like nothing. You then go and sucker punch the espeon with your non broken hand. Captain Kirk is out for the count and El Toro lunges at Darth Vader, grabbing him, and using thrash. Slamming the floating head into the ground repetitively breaking the stairs and eventually getting thrown off. He starts belligerently yelling, then calms down.

Darth vader prepares to strike back, but you hit him with Night Slash, causing him to feint. The guard then beams them back and proceeds down the stairs. You begin walking up, being careful to avoid the large chunk of rock that was ripped out of the tower by El Toro. Another UNESCO sight violated. El Toro ceases belligerence, and seems to act like it never happened, shrugging the whole thing off. You get to the next guard, who wastes no time, unleashing his Pokémon the second you’re spotted. It’s an Alakazam, with long hair, an odd mustache, and a matching beard, creating a sort of Lion mane. The Pokémon has a white painted face, with blue eyeshadow. He also wears a long coat, with two dragons over each shoulder. The hat is a giveaway as to what he is. Double layered gold adorned petal look, over black velvet, with a needle through the gold rim. It’s Lo Pan.

“This one Lo Pan?” You ask to Maria
“Yeah. Seems it.” She replies
“It’s psychic again, Adam, I’ll do away with him.”
“Yeah. Get him.” Adam says. And you walk up to Lo-Pan, as he does the weird hand and mouth movements, not speaking at all. You walk closer to him, fake with your right, and then clock him with the left as he flinches. He gets up, hits you with peybeam, fast as a gunshot, but it does nothing to you, and so you blast him again, to the back of the head. His hat falls off, and nearly rolls off the tower as the guard beams him back, and the hat too.
“Not much of a sorcerer.” You say, jokingly
“Queenie, you could have solo’d this gym.” Maria says
“We’re not out of the woods yet. Who’s next?” You say as the guard unleashes the next Pokémon. It’s a fucking dolphin with a heart on its chest and glasses.
“It’s Clark Kent!” Maria yells

“Clark Kent? The others rhymed though?” El Toro says
“Well, it’s supposed to be Superman, but I’d bet that that dolphin has a second form.”
“Says here it has a ‘hero form’ it gets by switching out Pokémon.” Adam says, looking at his phone
“What’s next then?” You ask
“Every single power Ranger?” Maria answers
“Like in order?”
“No, it’s stated as ‘every single power Ranger’ idk how he’ll do that though, as there’s more than 4.” Maria says and then she, El Toro, and Adam begin debating eachother. Muscle Mon walks over to you and whispers in your ear
“Use perish song, then I’ll cover. He doesn’t have another Pokémon, look at him struggle.” He finishes, and you look at the guard, who’s yelling at the Pokémon, pointing, and making hand gestures. You then step forward, look at the dolphin, who looks very embarrassed and won’t look at you, and say “tequila”, 3 times, with some pauses, technically finishing a song. You then step back, and muscle Mon steps forward. You felt wrong until you stepped back. It was an unbearable sense of dread. It felt like it was clawing in the back of your head. You felt death approaching, but it ended once you and Muscle Mon switched places. It’s odd, didn’t feel like the first time you did it. The disaster senses were going off the charts, but the first time, it was nothing.

The guard continues to yell at the pokemon, and then eventually looks at muscle Mon, and throws a poke ball, with bounces off him and falls below. Muscle Mon then walks over and bites the dolphin. It squeals, and shoots water erratically. Muscle Mon then does this a second time causing it to feint, as the rest of the group continues to bicker. The guard beams it back, then walks down the steps, passing a very confused crowd. Adam begins asking what happened and Muscle Mon says he bit the dolphin. Maria laughs, and you can’t tell if you got it or Muscle Mon did. You then continue upwards, finding a different guard, in a different uniform. Maybe a sergeant? Never the less, he pulls out a single poke ball and summons it. He unleashes a horde of around 150 eggs, painted differently, like power rangers.

“Holy shit, it’s actually every single power Ranger. They fucking did it.” Maria says. The Pokémon is exeggcute, a grass psychic type, and not that powerful, but in these numbers, it’s a threat.
“Psychic again. Queen? You want to do it?” Adam asks. Should you face the egg horde or let someone else?

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You’ll take the eggs, might be a bitch to do, but it’ll get done. You step forward, facing the eggs being so many that they almost go so far up the steps that you can’t see them. You can probably get a well placed night slash to hit most of them. But, as you’re contemplating your next move, Adad takes action. He walks past you, almost pushing you to the side, and begins using inferno on the eggs. They’re getting obliterated one by one by this unending stream of fire, which gets bad enough that the guard has to retreat up the tower to avoid it. As the flames disperse, Adad stands, panting, with blackened spheres dotting the land and the scent of scrambled egg in the air. Adad looks back, and smirks at you. You didn’t act and in turn he decided to best you.

You have to swallow your pride, something you’ve been doing a lot lately, as he’s of a different time, different background, different culture, so you can’t be sure he did that in spite of you. But, it feels like he did. You’re not happy. Emasculation over shit you can’t have control over, like your height, your body, your family history, that’s one thing. It hurts, but it’s bearable. This- your combat ability, this was something you were not lacking in, something you can control. You want nothing more than to club that smug fuck in the back of the head like Nikita. But, you have to let it go, and deal with him. You don’t have a choice.

The guard comes back down, unleashing two more Pokémon, while letting out a disco ball looking array of beams to retrieve the eggs. Both are the same Pokémon, with one having his dread things partly in front, a black vest, and a red sweater around his waist. He’s blue and black with a raccoon looking mask and spikes on his chest and hand tops. The other is yellow where the other was blue, and has shorter dread things and a blue jacket.
“I don’t get why they’d be Lucarios” Maria begins “maybe cause they’re metal heads, and steel type, or something.”
“Who are they?” Adam asks
“Bill S Preston and Theodore Logan. From Bill and Ted.” Maria answers as the two lucario’s sort of shove each other, giggling

“You guys know the drill. They’re weak to fire, so Adad will be the first in. As for the next?” Adam says, and Adad seemed to not care. Again, he lets out inferno on the two rockers, torching them and downing them both instantly. They’re beamed back and the guard begins walking down the steps, head down.
“Nice bro.” Muscle Mon says, trying to high five Adad, who just stares at him blankly and walks up the stairs after a second. Maria high fives Muscle Mon as she walks by, then he and the rest follow. You finally get to the top of the tower, able to see the entire city below. The wind blows cool and strong up here, not as sheltered by the rest of the tower. You walk in through the arch at the end of the stairs and find an open roof room, with a single man inside, back turned to you.

He stands in parade attire, the formal wear, not fatigues. With the sashes, and hat to boot. He slowly turns around to face everyone, smiling as he does. He has many medals on his jacket, and it looks worn and tarnished.
“My name is Farid Shakibaii, I am a Sarhang dovom, or lieutenant colonel, for the Iranian Ground Forces.” He speaks “I need no introductions from you, the great comedian Adam Sandler. I love all of your work.”
“Even Don’t Mess With The Zohan?” Adam replies
“That one… that one is an exception. Your others though…”
“Eight Crazy Nights?”
“I hate israelis not Jews, let’s make that clear. Jews don’t try to get Christian’s to kill us, israelis do. Jews, for the most part, just have grand religious ceremonies, refuse to eat pork, and go about their lives as is. Like Muslims, like most Persians.”

“I can’t really argue with that… I guess.”
“Let’s ditch politics, however. I’ve been informed you want me to switch off the aa guns and let every unidentified, unresponsive, flying object, go over historic and holy sights, as well as military outposts, especially when those objects come from the terrorist controlled areas.”
“Well, when you put it that way…”
“What’s a charizard gonna do to you guys anyways?” El Toro asks
“Ah yes, what can a dragon that breaths fire do to men?” Shakibaii asks “we didn’t know what it was at first, only that it flew and it was flying directly at us. We tend to not wait around when calls to things will not id themselves. We just assume it’s a drone, and occasionally you’ll get dipshits flying a civilian passenger plane over us and not responding, then, what are we supposed to do?”
“Not shoot down civilian aircraft?” Maria says sarcastically

“If you knew all the stuff that went on at your borders to unarmed refugees, you’d be very staunchly anti American too. We have a no fly zone, under enforcement of guns. No fly means you don’t fly there, or we make sure you won’t continue to.”
“How am I supposed to know this was a no fly zone?” Adam says
“Do you know not to drive into private or government areas even if there isn’t signage that says don’t drive there?”
“Yes, but that’s driving, not flying. I had no training or know how.”
“Just like we expect one to know the rules of the road before entering the road, we expect one to know the rules of the air before flying.”
“Whatever.”
“Try this with the US military, they’ll do the same.”

“Is there a chance you can give us clearance to fly?” Adam asks
“Yes, but, as you expected, you first have to beat me.”
“I figured.”
“Right to the point. I’ll give you a radio of ours and clearance codes to Baghdad in exchange for victory.”
“Also your hat.” El Toro says
“Hm? My hat?”
“Yes.”
“Fine. The hat goes to whoever can defeat my ace, if you can.”
“It’s gonna be me.” Maria says
“We’ll see.” Shakibaii says, unleashing his first Pokémon. It’s a sableye, with a blue shirt on and some weird sharpied black hair.

“Go Spoc!” Shakibaii calls.
“Spoc is a sableye, they’re weak to fairy and immune to normal, fighting, and psychic. Anyone up for this?” Adam says. Do you volunteer to fight Spoc?

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You volunteer to fight Spoc, but again, Adad feels the need to cut in. Without warning, he hops in front of you and and uses fly. He grabs the sable eye and swoops up out of the hollow roof, nearly blowing Maria down the stairs. He disappears for a second, before a ball of orange comes flying down from the sky, punting this ball of blue and purple into the ground below, creating a large explosion of dirt and rubble. He managed to hit the road, rather than the sight, but caused some huge damage either way. The dragon then flies back up and lands through the ceiling, causing another gust of wind, slightly off balancing you and Adam, who Muscle Mon grabs onto. Maria is unfazed by this one, as she clung to the wall anticipating it. Shakibaii beems the guy back into his ball, then chuckles.

“Interesting. You took the warm up in stride, and fucked up my operation’s road. So, I’m not gonna feel sorry for what happens next.” Shakibaii says and then hands Adam a bunch of healing and pp items “keep the dragon in.” He says and Adam nods. Shakibaii then throws out another poke ball, unleashing the most horrific abomination you’ve ever seen. “Meet the Rock!” Shakibaii says, as his abomination flexes. The Rock, is no beast of stone, it is an eevee, with the body of a professional wrestler, and a face to boot. The Rock has the face of Dwayne Johnson, covered in a thin layer of fur. It has patches of fur to match the Rock’s tattoos and does the Rock’s eyebrow thing as soon as it sees Adam.

“You smell something?” The Rock says, in the voice of Dwayne Johnson
“There is no fucking way.” Adam says, dumb founded
“DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?!” The Rock yells, before upper cutting Adad and lifting him off the ground as he does. Adad is stunned as he falls back down, knocking his helmet to the side,but that shock turns to anger quickly, as he unleashes inferno and engulfs the Rock in flames. Adad stops, panting again, as you see the Rock emerge from the flames and charge at Adad. He follows his sucker punch with a tackle, slamming Adad into the wall, cracking it and causing bricks to fall from above.

You move to avoid them, and Muscle Mon shields most of the group with his back. Adad responds quickly, using fly to burst into the air, attempting something, but is countered by the Rock, by grabbing his tail and slamming him to the floor, shaking the tower as this happens. Adad is stunned again, which the Rock takes advantage of. He uses a high jump kick as Adad attempts to get up, splashing Adad’s blood across the wall. Adad takes this one better, and attempts fly again, managing to actually escape this time. You can’t see him as the sun is over head, but neither can the Rock, staring into the sun. After a few moments pass, something came down from the sky. It hits the Rock in the shoulder, piercing through and spraying blood onto the floor and slightly down the stairs. It’s an arrow.

The arrow causes everyone to back up against the wall, all but the Rock, who stands arms outstretched, beckoning Adad for more. He screams for Adad to send more down, for a single arrow shall not kill him. Adad seems to listen, as a ball of orange flies through the entrance and up towards the roof, landing and perching above the group. Adad stands on the ledge staring down at everyone, blood dripping from his mouth and snout. His hand is also drenched in blood, and while you can see his bow, you can’t see his spear. That question of where is quickly dismissed, taking a look back at the Rock, finding a spear stuck through his abdomen, piercing out of his mouth, and keeping him stuck in position. Slowly, the Rock collapses and Shakibaii sends him back to his ball, leaving the spear in a pool of blood, which Adad comes down to collect. Adam uses some healing spray on Adad, erasing the blood on his face and unswelling his bruises that were forming, while Adad puts his helmet back on.

“Very well.” Shakibaii says “valiant effort, though I find the use of weapons… cheap.” He finishes and sends out his next Pokémon, which is a quadrupedal, but bipedal, like squidward, green octopus, with goggles and a trench coat on. “Prepare to face Doc Oc.” He says, and Adam looks at it
“Hey Queen, it’s a Grapploct, he’s weak to psychic, if you-“ Adam begins
“Keep the dragon in!” Shakibaii says, annoyed
“Fine.” Adam says, then motions for Adad to fly. Doc Oc swings at Adad, who grabs his tentacles and flies out of the roof again. Like Spoc, he hurls the octopus into the road, causing another boom that launches bits and pieces of stone and dirt high into the air. Adad returns shortly, and Shakibaii beems the octopus back.

“Such an annoying creature.” Shakibaii says, then beams out another. This one is a machop, with blond hair and a red bandana, as well as shades, and a blonde handlebar mustache. He wears a red shirt, and black tights, and is clearly oiled up.
“Are you ready to rumble?” The Machop yells
“Prepare to face, Hulk Hogan!” Shakibaii says. Prepare Adad did. As he had gotten his bow ready, and drew an arrow, pulling it back, and putting his tail in front of it. The Machop barely even moves as Adad releases his arrow, catching fire as it flies through Adad’s tail, and hits the Machop dead in the chest. The oil mixes with the fire, causing Hulk Hogan to burst into flames, screaming, as he falls to the ground. Shakibaii beems him back again, and then claps.

“Anyone else?” Maria says
“Just one.” Shakibaii replies, still clapping
“Oh right… who won- oh, Mr Rogers. That’s gonna be-“
“No. Not Mr Rogers. The song is done. Neil no longer dictates the fight. The next is my choice.”
“Oh. Bring it on then!”
“Not you though, little bunny. I want the dragon still.”
“Fine. Just summon it and let’s get this over with” Adam says
“You see, you have a charizard, the original bad ass Pokémon, the favorite, almost rivaling pikachu, but charmanter was never my first choice. You see, I was always a squirrel fan.” Shakibaii says, unleashing his Pokémon. Before you stands something so massive, it tears the rest of the wall and ceiling down from the little shelter, raining bricks and stones down below. It stands around 20 feet tall, 15 feet wide, and looks to be about 6 whole tones of Iranian pride. It has a shell, layered in steal, with dual guns on either side of its head. Its soft parts are not exposed either, wearing heavy plated metal, with a barred triangular helmet. This is a blastoise, but this is no ordinary blastoise.

“I’d like you all to meet Gustav, the Railway cannon.” Shakibaii says. This creature towers over Adad, who seems nervous for the first time. Adad immediately uses inferno, engulfing the turtle in flames. As the flames cool, the iron plates and bars are left red, and a smoke radiates off of Gustav. Suddenly, you see Gustav tense and a loud hissing sound, like a train’s breaks, is head. Giving off a massive amount of steam. The steam clears and shows the iron is no longer red, nor is it warped or damaged.
“Gustav. Use Hydropump.” Shakibaii says, as the guns on Gustav slowly begin to turn towards Adad, who launches up, flying into the sky, before eventually coming down and striking with his spear, which almost disintegrates on impact. The pig iron protecting Gustav is not damaged, and the guns are ready.

Two large blasts are heard, echoing across the sky, as two pressurized short bursts of water are shot out of the cannons. You’re too distracted by Gustav to catch a glimpse of Adad, but realize this and check. What’s really left is a pair of legs. There is a hole where his stomach was, perfectly round, and poring blood. Where his head was is nothing but a stump barely separated from his central hole. Adad is dead, you realize as his corpse falls over and begins rolling down the steps, throwing plates from his armor to the side, as he rolls, until eventually he rolls off the side, creating a break from the sloshing and clanking, until a loud splat is heard, followed by an even more distant splat after. The air is silent now. You look to Adam for guidance, but can find none, he is mortified.
“Ok…” Adam manages to squeak out before another bought of silence.

“Ok?” Shakibaii asks
“W-we no longer n-need the air clearance.” Adam says, face white as a ghost, or your fur.
“Oh. I’m sorry, did you just say you wanted to back out? Well I’m sorry, but you can’t flee a trainer battle, and even if you could, I wouldn’t let you. Send the next one forward. The deal still stands.” Shakibaii says. You should have brought Peters, you should have brought Nikita, you should have stayed home. But this can’t be it. You can’t die here, you won’t. You have to make it back.