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More from Bonifasko
I wish I could be better, I'm trying.
I wish I could be better. For myself, for you.
But I'm just not as good as I'd like to be. I liked to think that there was something more inside that I could show through my art, something unique and magical, like many great artists whose work I see every day. But I'm just jumping like a child, imitating and trying to reach the top. Sometimes it happens to touch by accident. But then I fall into my dark thicket full of thorny thorns. And I look up, thinking how great it would be to have wings on which I could carry something beautiful.
But the reality for me is a constant thorny path, it's difficult, it hurts. And sometimes I don't understand why I'm moving on.
But I can't help but go, art is a part of me, I was born in this forest.
___
Once again, I really want to apologize for my absence for the past month. It's an awfully long time. I have seen a lot of your support and emails during this time, and I am incredibly grateful to each of you.
I was faced with a very strong emotional burnout and I still feel terrible. I tried to find the strength to at least respond to those who wrote to me, but I can't find the strength even for such lines, and I'm terribly ashamed of this, and I don't want you to think that I'm ignoring you.
I've been trying to relax for a couple of weeks, go somewhere, meet someone, do something abstract. But nothing helps. I still feel the same way. With terrible fatigue, drowsiness, apathy, depressive feelings and lack of interest in everything around.
I've been preparing for over a week to draw this picture and write this post. I'm trying my best to come back. And every new day without art makes me feel even worse. And the strength to move on has not returned.
I'm still trying, I'm really sorry. I wish I could be better.
But I'm just not as good as I'd like to be. I liked to think that there was something more inside that I could show through my art, something unique and magical, like many great artists whose work I see every day. But I'm just jumping like a child, imitating and trying to reach the top. Sometimes it happens to touch by accident. But then I fall into my dark thicket full of thorny thorns. And I look up, thinking how great it would be to have wings on which I could carry something beautiful.
But the reality for me is a constant thorny path, it's difficult, it hurts. And sometimes I don't understand why I'm moving on.
But I can't help but go, art is a part of me, I was born in this forest.
___
Once again, I really want to apologize for my absence for the past month. It's an awfully long time. I have seen a lot of your support and emails during this time, and I am incredibly grateful to each of you.
I was faced with a very strong emotional burnout and I still feel terrible. I tried to find the strength to at least respond to those who wrote to me, but I can't find the strength even for such lines, and I'm terribly ashamed of this, and I don't want you to think that I'm ignoring you.
I've been trying to relax for a couple of weeks, go somewhere, meet someone, do something abstract. But nothing helps. I still feel the same way. With terrible fatigue, drowsiness, apathy, depressive feelings and lack of interest in everything around.
I've been preparing for over a week to draw this picture and write this post. I'm trying my best to come back. And every new day without art makes me feel even worse. And the strength to move on has not returned.
I'm still trying, I'm really sorry. I wish I could be better.
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You'll be fine. Take care of yourself first, and at a minimum, I would suggest just doing some doodles in a notepad or something so you don't let those skills go unused. It doesn't even need to be a normal doodle. Just some squiggly lines and such if you want.
Also, I'm in the same position - burnout has been rearing its ugly head lately.
Also, I'm in the same position - burnout has been rearing its ugly head lately.
BONI, always remember to take care of yourself. We'll be here to support you whether you're posting art or not--and it's okay not to be okay. Just do what you can to be happy with yourself again, whether it's little doodles, hanging out with friends, or even a social media break. Your art is amazing, but your health is so much more important. We'll be here if you ever need anything <3
I'm sorry you're having to go through this kind of pain, the art journey is never easy in an environment that constantly demands production of one's craft, especially in a business sense. You don't have to keep this constant momentum up if you don't want to, we can wait, we can be patient for the days you do want to show what you've made or don't even, you're not obligated to anyone. You deserve peace of mind.
Some of the most insightful times happen when we are at our lowest. I feel every word each time I sit at the keyboard and try to put soul tearing emotions into each word. Please know you are not alone. Time and practice, and most of all, the willingness to talk to others who are fighting the same battle. See...we each have a piece of the puzzle...and we need each other to see the big picture.
Social media, online presence, the stress you put on yourself to produce something to the masses. It can all cause the burnout you're facing. This mantra has helped me with the exact feeling you're in regarding your art. I hope it can help you.
"You are allowed to start over as many times as you need. You are not behind. You are not wasting time. You are not broken."
"You are allowed to start over as many times as you need. You are not behind. You are not wasting time. You are not broken."
Focus on what makes you happy; though I know that can be hard when feeling depressed. If you can, get outside, go for a walk, meet an old friend. What you can't do is let depression stop you. It's like mud, holding you in place. Just have to keep moving.
We'll still be here when you feel better.
We'll still be here when you feel better.
You have truly nothing to apologize for, especially in a moment like this.
You are you.
You are human.
You're not a machine and you shouldn't be expected by anyone, including yourself, to function like one. Your health and all of its many facets will require care and polish every now and then. Even if only one face gets a little rough, time and care will make it shine again.
Taking breaks and finding other means to recharge yourself and your energy is always going to be a requirement. Your self care just needs a method that works strictly for you since it's never a one-and-done type deal.
Be gentle with yourself. It won't be an overnight change. It may take some time to find what you need to balance out all that is going on and to find your sense of normality again. For some, it may be as simple as a dietary change, rearranging a room, finding a side hobby or working on a schedule to make personal time. For others, it could take years, therapy, medication, taking extended leave, etc. We're all different. We're all unique.
Your work here has always been incredibly beautiful, deep, and always has a wonderful spectrum to it in terms of style and content.
I will not speak on behalf of others, but from at least one of your followers: Take your time. There is no harm in stepping back to breathe and find what you need. There is no harm in seeking your comfort and wellness. You owe no one an apology in trying to better yourself and grow. <3
You are you.
You are human.
You're not a machine and you shouldn't be expected by anyone, including yourself, to function like one. Your health and all of its many facets will require care and polish every now and then. Even if only one face gets a little rough, time and care will make it shine again.
Taking breaks and finding other means to recharge yourself and your energy is always going to be a requirement. Your self care just needs a method that works strictly for you since it's never a one-and-done type deal.
Be gentle with yourself. It won't be an overnight change. It may take some time to find what you need to balance out all that is going on and to find your sense of normality again. For some, it may be as simple as a dietary change, rearranging a room, finding a side hobby or working on a schedule to make personal time. For others, it could take years, therapy, medication, taking extended leave, etc. We're all different. We're all unique.
Your work here has always been incredibly beautiful, deep, and always has a wonderful spectrum to it in terms of style and content.
I will not speak on behalf of others, but from at least one of your followers: Take your time. There is no harm in stepping back to breathe and find what you need. There is no harm in seeking your comfort and wellness. You owe no one an apology in trying to better yourself and grow. <3
I understand you very well. In fact, I go through this often and I know how difficult it is.
I spend a lot on medication for anxiety and depression, but nothing seems to change... but it's possible to change and improve, it's just a little difficult and tiring.
I spent months without drawing or knowing what to do. I just wanted to sleep because all I felt was mental and physical exhaustion.
I'm sure you'll overcome this obstacle and come back stronger than before.
You're one of the artists I really enjoy following. Your art is incredible, and I always admire every detail. For me, you're still many steps ahead and there's still a long way to go.
Honestly, I hope you recover well and soon. It's difficult, but I know you can do it. It's as if you look back and see how much you've progressed in your art, how many obstacles you've overcome, and what you're feeling is just another obstacle. It may take time, but you'll overcome it.
But it's also good to rest sometimes. Maybe what you love so much is what's hurting you. I speak from experience.
Anyway, I hope you get better. Take care.
I spend a lot on medication for anxiety and depression, but nothing seems to change... but it's possible to change and improve, it's just a little difficult and tiring.
I spent months without drawing or knowing what to do. I just wanted to sleep because all I felt was mental and physical exhaustion.
I'm sure you'll overcome this obstacle and come back stronger than before.
You're one of the artists I really enjoy following. Your art is incredible, and I always admire every detail. For me, you're still many steps ahead and there's still a long way to go.
Honestly, I hope you recover well and soon. It's difficult, but I know you can do it. It's as if you look back and see how much you've progressed in your art, how many obstacles you've overcome, and what you're feeling is just another obstacle. It may take time, but you'll overcome it.
But it's also good to rest sometimes. Maybe what you love so much is what's hurting you. I speak from experience.
Anyway, I hope you get better. Take care.
You have no need to apologize, we are all beings of emotions, we all can be drained/burned/fatigued and that is part of being a human.
When you're being in a state of emotional burnout, and you probably don't want to be that so you beat yourself up, and feel ashamed of yourself not meeting the expectation that you have setup.
Would you beat up a friend for being in the same emotional burnout as you?
Didn't think so.
Not everyday will be a good day, so we can only make the best out of it, even if it's really bad.
When we are unhappy we try to find ways, ways to get out off the situation.
Sometimes, trying find a solution to our predicament can also lead us on.
Who knows, maybe you will find that something that pulls you out, or maybe you don't.
You are you, so beating yourself up and being ashamed doesn't make you better, take care of yourself and be kind.
As someone already have written, doodle, keep on drawing and have fun with it. Not everything needs to be THE magnum opus.
Don't worry, you can do it.
As a friend of mine have kept saying to me; Carpe Diem.
When you're being in a state of emotional burnout, and you probably don't want to be that so you beat yourself up, and feel ashamed of yourself not meeting the expectation that you have setup.
Would you beat up a friend for being in the same emotional burnout as you?
Didn't think so.
Not everyday will be a good day, so we can only make the best out of it, even if it's really bad.
When we are unhappy we try to find ways, ways to get out off the situation.
Sometimes, trying find a solution to our predicament can also lead us on.
Who knows, maybe you will find that something that pulls you out, or maybe you don't.
You are you, so beating yourself up and being ashamed doesn't make you better, take care of yourself and be kind.
As someone already have written, doodle, keep on drawing and have fun with it. Not everything needs to be THE magnum opus.
Don't worry, you can do it.
As a friend of mine have kept saying to me; Carpe Diem.
Я давно слежу за твоим творчеством, оно вдохновило меня рисовать в тяжёлые времена, когда хотелось все бросить, вы искренне мой кумир и пример для подражания, за которым мне бы хотелось следовать. Я очень хотела предложить трейд, чтобы быть замеченной хоть на секунду именно вами, но мне так и не хватает смелости. Я обязательно наберусь опыта и уверенности, спасибо за ваше творчество! Из множества фурри художников, ииенно ваши работы ощущаются как глоток свежего и нового, больше ни с кем подобного не ощущала (*^▽^)/★*☆♪
Жиза бро. Тоже проходил через это. Видимо это естественный процесс художника))
В любом случае, это закончится. И ты уже стал крутаном, а твои работы потрясающи.
Так что не переживай об этом.
Ну а от себя совет, как сдвинуться с мёртвой точки - раз в день открой проект и поработай над ним ровно 15 минут (можешь 5, если совсем плохо). И потом ты либо почувствуешь интерес и продолжишь, либо просто закрой и все. Это поможет уменьшить стресс от того, что ты не рисуешь несколько дней подряд. Поправляйся 🙏
В любом случае, это закончится. И ты уже стал крутаном, а твои работы потрясающи.
Так что не переживай об этом.
Ну а от себя совет, как сдвинуться с мёртвой точки - раз в день открой проект и поработай над ним ровно 15 минут (можешь 5, если совсем плохо). И потом ты либо почувствуешь интерес и продолжишь, либо просто закрой и все. Это поможет уменьшить стресс от того, что ты не рисуешь несколько дней подряд. Поправляйся 🙏
Thanks for being open.
Being better suggests a striving toward perfection in a world evident of entropy. That you express that desire speaks more than those who would give up on being better altogether.
Stay strong. Take time for the wellness of your soul. If art is a form of human expression, great work will take a lot out of a person.
Being better suggests a striving toward perfection in a world evident of entropy. That you express that desire speaks more than those who would give up on being better altogether.
Stay strong. Take time for the wellness of your soul. If art is a form of human expression, great work will take a lot out of a person.
intrusive negative thoughts are just the worst. I'm very sorry you feel that way about your amazing work, Dark Green is awesome and ive been really looking forward to seeing where you go with it!! i have always found your art absolutely fantastic and its been cool watching you improve with every new picture! i hope the feeling passes eventually and try not to beat yourself up for taking a break.
Лично я давно уже наблюдаю, за твоим творчеством и без приукрас говорю - оно у тебя восхитительно. И я отчасти могу понять, какой спектр эмоций свалился на тебя. Не стоит прыгать выше себя, и что-то кому-то (в том числе и себе) доказывать, если ты чувствуешь, что у тебя нет возможности и сил. Перегорание - ужасная штука, во всех смыслах.
Если тебе хочется просто взять и сделать долгий перерыв от творчества, то смело так поступай. Никто тебя за это, не осудит.
Если тебе хочется просто взять и сделать долгий перерыв от творчества, то смело так поступай. Никто тебя за это, не осудит.
Hun, that burst of depression it's part of the creative process. I know it feels so shitty, but I also know that when it ends it makes the sun spark SOOOO brighter then before and it ignites inspiration to a level that the mentally stable artists (if they exist) will never know.
Hold on, believe it or not down moments are inevitable and also kind of necessary to reach that top quality you are aiming too. And I'm speaking as one who has way more down moments then top ones :')
On a side note, staring at the sky for 5-10 mins as soon as I wake up helps me a lot during depression. Please do not reply to this comment, stare a little bit of blue indeed.
Hold on, believe it or not down moments are inevitable and also kind of necessary to reach that top quality you are aiming too. And I'm speaking as one who has way more down moments then top ones :')
On a side note, staring at the sky for 5-10 mins as soon as I wake up helps me a lot during depression. Please do not reply to this comment, stare a little bit of blue indeed.
Going to be a little contrary to some of these folks here.
Don't be sorry, shaddup and stretch your limbs a while. It's your life, ain't ours. You burned out, then go out there and find what kindles your heart. What sets the blaze in your soul, the magic that sings to your mind and makes your fingers dance upon the tapestry.
You'll find it again one day, sitting and forcing the engine to go ain't gunna do shit but make ya feel worse. Enjoy your life again first, the rest comes naturally. Or you find a new way to express yourself.
Take care of yourself. We'll see you again when you find yourself once more, aye?
Don't be sorry, shaddup and stretch your limbs a while. It's your life, ain't ours. You burned out, then go out there and find what kindles your heart. What sets the blaze in your soul, the magic that sings to your mind and makes your fingers dance upon the tapestry.
You'll find it again one day, sitting and forcing the engine to go ain't gunna do shit but make ya feel worse. Enjoy your life again first, the rest comes naturally. Or you find a new way to express yourself.
Take care of yourself. We'll see you again when you find yourself once more, aye?
I'm sure it has been said better by someone else already, but I'll express it in my own words anyway. Boni, you are far more important than and for far more reasons than just your art. Your art is beloved, no doubt, and while you say you bring nothing unique, your art very much does have its unique style and flair; it is distinctive and recognisable, so give yourself a bit more slack there. Your fans like your art because it's yours, and every stroke of it holds your unique touch. But I'm sure we could all agree that hearing that you are happy and healthy would bring us joy, even if that meant never seeing another piece of art from you. We would just cherish what you've given us already all the more. Remember, no one can be strong forever; no one does not stumble and trip from time to time, we all desperately search through our own thorn mazes when things get rough. But this too shall pass. Rest, find your own strength in your own time. and we will be waiting to welcome you back with open arms once you're ready.
Boni, you've been through a lot and nobody can blame you if you're burned off. Rest all the time you need.
I personally can say you're probably my favourite digital artist, i spent hours watching your videos and those helped me understand digital art more than any other, never doubt your skills, youve plenty.
I personally can say you're probably my favourite digital artist, i spent hours watching your videos and those helped me understand digital art more than any other, never doubt your skills, youve plenty.
You know, great artists have felt the same when they hit a low or experienced a blockade. Maybe you shouldn‘t compare and I know how hard that is, but instead just focus on what you like to create. There are enough who consider your work fantastic and wish for you to succeed in whatever way possible. If your work doesn’t get much attention, many other experience the same. Sometimes it takes time, sometimes your work never will be rewarded as it should. There are two sides to that coin. Just keep going. :3
Hi. I'll tell you something, you shouldn't think such things because everyone understands you perfectly, because we all have such moments in our lives. I was ill for 2 months, I had severe stomach and kidney problems, which is why I didn't draw for a month because I didn't have the strength for it and I couldn't eat anything for a month because the food wouldn't fit... It's been a terrible 2 months. The only advantage is that I had a rest in nature this month and was able to take a break from work. I've been cured now. So be healthy and have a good rest.
Привет Боня. Не знаю все обстоятельства твоей жизни, но могу сказать, что эмоциональное состояние людей зависит от образа жизни и конечно здоровья. Многие успешные программисты живущие постоянно дома начинают испытывать апатию.
Иными словами рассмотри свой образ жизни. Насколько много времени ты проводишь в одиночестве или запертым в одной комнате. Имеешь ли ты минимальную активность физическую. Это звучит немного глупо, но люди все-таки животные) Поэтому надо обратить внимание на свое тело.
В остальном. Не оставайся один со своей проблемой. Так можно намудрить внутри себя полную ерунду. Как-то так. Мы верим в тебя Боня ❤️
Иными словами рассмотри свой образ жизни. Насколько много времени ты проводишь в одиночестве или запертым в одной комнате. Имеешь ли ты минимальную активность физическую. Это звучит немного глупо, но люди все-таки животные) Поэтому надо обратить внимание на свое тело.
В остальном. Не оставайся один со своей проблемой. Так можно намудрить внутри себя полную ерунду. Как-то так. Мы верим в тебя Боня ❤️
Boni, I know we have never spoken before, so I'm not sure how much this will help. But here goes:
I have met many artists over the years. Some I've had the honor of commissioning, some I became friends with. And they all seem to have something in common - they all seem to be chasing each other, viewing each other as better than themselves.
I'm no artist, so I feel a bit like an outsider looking into your world - but it really is a world you create. Each and every one of you. I am a fan of your work because it is your work. You have your own unique style that I adore. Something no other artist captures. Something that lets me look at a piece and say "Oh! This is Boni's!" It's not an imitation - it's a unique style all of your own. And it is wonderful!
I think you are doing very well, Boni. It may be hard to see, perhaps the thorns are too thick. But I hope you can hear all of us cheering you on. Please take care of yourself, do what you need to get your strength back. We will all be here for you, eagerly waiting for your return and wishing you the best of fortune.
I have met many artists over the years. Some I've had the honor of commissioning, some I became friends with. And they all seem to have something in common - they all seem to be chasing each other, viewing each other as better than themselves.
I'm no artist, so I feel a bit like an outsider looking into your world - but it really is a world you create. Each and every one of you. I am a fan of your work because it is your work. You have your own unique style that I adore. Something no other artist captures. Something that lets me look at a piece and say "Oh! This is Boni's!" It's not an imitation - it's a unique style all of your own. And it is wonderful!
I think you are doing very well, Boni. It may be hard to see, perhaps the thorns are too thick. But I hope you can hear all of us cheering you on. Please take care of yourself, do what you need to get your strength back. We will all be here for you, eagerly waiting for your return and wishing you the best of fortune.
*note* I just said something that’s intended to cheer you up but later found out that it ended up sounded so insensitive because I learnt that remark only adds more pressure to you than you are in and I apologise for my careless remark to you. so I removed that reply earlier. I will be more careful with what I say,
But yea I hear you. Trying to reach the top is what I been trying to do as well and it felt like I’m not going anywhere. Missing even one day from drawing cause of fatigue and commitments drives me mad.
You mention you want to deliver something magical. Well, you did. Casey is my favorite character out of all the ones you made. Something about her that just makes me like her that I been studying your drawing technique. (i been racking my brains that I had to rewind a few times in your YouTube video -3-)
But yea like the ppl said here, take it easy. Focus on yourself for now.
But yea I hear you. Trying to reach the top is what I been trying to do as well and it felt like I’m not going anywhere. Missing even one day from drawing cause of fatigue and commitments drives me mad.
You mention you want to deliver something magical. Well, you did. Casey is my favorite character out of all the ones you made. Something about her that just makes me like her that I been studying your drawing technique. (i been racking my brains that I had to rewind a few times in your YouTube video -3-)
But yea like the ppl said here, take it easy. Focus on yourself for now.
Hey there.
You don't know me, but, I do like your work. The artists that I watch on the few social art-sites that I 'inhabit' ..you all teach me something. How to enjoy painting. To have fun with what I draw up. Perhaps, even to take constructive criticism.
As for negative situations, burn-out, emotions, negative people.. well, those are normal things. So, don't feel bad about them. If anything, they might encourage you to slow down, take some breaks, get some self-care in, if you have any - play with your pet(s), go sight-seeing within your own city or town, go play outside if the weather is good, cook some good recipes, and so on.
Take as much time for you (not us) as much as you need it. We'll be here!
You don't know me, but, I do like your work. The artists that I watch on the few social art-sites that I 'inhabit' ..you all teach me something. How to enjoy painting. To have fun with what I draw up. Perhaps, even to take constructive criticism.
As for negative situations, burn-out, emotions, negative people.. well, those are normal things. So, don't feel bad about them. If anything, they might encourage you to slow down, take some breaks, get some self-care in, if you have any - play with your pet(s), go sight-seeing within your own city or town, go play outside if the weather is good, cook some good recipes, and so on.
Take as much time for you (not us) as much as you need it. We'll be here!
I forget where I first heard the quote but I often use it with my students, friends or anyone really that has this distinctly morose and depressive ennui, "those who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed." you have a distinct style and unique characters that arouse, inspire and enthrall a viewer. just keep trying and you'll get to where you want to be.
Попробуй сходить в походы, там где не доступен интернет, где есть только ты и природа (не проводников если вы неопытны не ходить).
Там где нет интернета, там где нет политики и всей этой интернет токсичности, что так пагубно влияет на менталку.
Когда ты перегораешь, нужно переключаться. Не зря же люди отпуск придумали. Миллионы лет люди рыбачили в своё удовольствие вдали от дома, чтобы уйти от мирской суеты.
Там где нет интернета, там где нет политики и всей этой интернет токсичности, что так пагубно влияет на менталку.
Когда ты перегораешь, нужно переключаться. Не зря же люди отпуск придумали. Миллионы лет люди рыбачили в своё удовольствие вдали от дома, чтобы уйти от мирской суеты.
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