Sorry, My Heart. You've been with me through the ugliest of times, the hardest of times, and even escaped death to make sure I wasn't alone. When your heart stopped in 2017, I thought mine would too. I was told to expect the worst. That no cat could live after being dead for 3 minutes. They called you a miracle. When you saw me in the ICU and ran towards me, I promised you I'd cherish every day with you and never leave you alone.

I can't keep that promise anymore.

I took you with me across states and even into another country. You've seen fires, homelessness, robbery, break ins, and your mother suffering from a case of Covid that she thought would take her before you. I made your food by hand for years. I always saved you some turkey. You'd kiss me every morning awake and lay down with me when I went to bed.

After all the love you have given me, it seems very unfair I make you go alone...but I cannot go with you.
You were always there to dry my tears; to soothe my sorrows...but I cannot soothe your pain.
If I was to go with you, I'd undo all the hard you put in these past 9 years making sure I was safe. So I cannot go with you.
Your crying screams will haunt my nights momentarily, but it'd be an insult to not celebrate your life and only mourn your death.

There were so many close calls but you always stayed with me. You refused to give up. I was more than lucky to have you for 13.5 years. A mother's love couldn't cure cancer, but I know you still had a loving life, because I loved you. Scheduling the appointment to put you to rest was the hardest thing I had to do. You did everything to love me and take care of me. I won't let your work go to waste. I won't let your love go to waste.

I may have hoped you to see me move into a life I love, with the man I love, starting the family and finally having that happy ending we promised each other...but I can't be your warden anymore. I can only hope now that we meet again. Will you still love Supernatural? Will you pace in front of the oven for extra turkey? Will you kiss me in the mornings?

Carry on my wayward son...there will be peace now that you are done. You've changed my life for the better. You kept me holding on. I love you...my sun...my love...my heart...my soul...My Apollo.

May you rest in peace.