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"Block this ad" isn't good enough, I need a feature that directly tells the company "this was so shit that it lowered my opinion of your product"
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Avoidance is the worst reaction to stress. Oh this thing is giving me anxiety? And it's something I could prepare for by looking at it more or learning things about the topic? No, I will take psychological damage if I look at it directly. I will still be thinking about it and be stressed though.
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very self-indulgent bc im a weird man, but i figured out where to go that one androgynes masc reader idea
im obsessed with this idea, but can't think of who would work for this, pls suggest characters - pls pls pls
cw: gay sex (m/m), explicit sex, mommy kink, rough sex
because you're androgynous by process of elimination. like you're not petite like one of those pretty girls on your feed, but you're not built like a greek god like one of those guys at your gym. you're built enough. you're broad enough. you're hung enough. you're masculine enough that girls recognize you as man. it's never been a girl who's mistaken you for another girl. you're not sure why, you've never thought about it too deeply. there's some feminine swagger you've always lacked, you think
other men, on the other hand; drunken, horny, and far to handsy for a stranger; are a different story. sure, your hair's a bit longer than is conventional for a man, that's usually what they point out, and it's part of it. your clothes play no small part in the "confusion". that much you know is fact. because styles are fun to play with and gender norms be damned, you wear women's clothes. it's subtle, through. something you've long realized most guys are not aware of in the slightest. it doesn't bother you much.
you're quick to correct when it's worth it, when it's going anywhere. better nip it in the bud before they get weird
enter the dumbass, the womanizer, the manwhore, whatever you want to call him. the guy who's been with every woman he's ever wanted. the guy who's in and out of a handful of relationships before the seasons can change. he's a chronic loverboy - finding the love of his life in a new woman every few months. whether or not he really believes that is impossible to tell. from your standpoint, it could go either way.
you've heard of him, never met him until you did. you figured a man who's been with nearly every woman in a 100 mile radius would know when he's talking to a woman. that he'd start to sniff it out like girls do. but he doesn't, instead, a little more than tipsy and loud, he leans against the bar next to you, letting rehearsed cliches fall out of his mouth, "never seen you around here before, i'd remember a pretty face like that"
with how drunk he'd been, you'd have been surprised if he could see straight at all and you'd shrugged him off. tried to. he grabbed you by the waist, it's weak, but he's clearly trying to pull you back towards him. you lean in, close to his ear so he can hear you over the music, because you're sure this will go no where. might as well burst his bubble
"i don't think im your type, man"
that snaps him out of it, kind of. there's a quick, "yeah, no, sorry"
and you go your separate ways. that night.
you do see each other again.
not often, he didn't seem to frequent your usual spots.
but he always seems to bump into you when he does. always striking up conversation when he sees, asking about your day, your job, offering hangouts (that you always refuse), anything at all, just to talk to you a little longer
it's months and months of this, before it does go somewhere.
"you really do make a pretty woman", you hear around the time you realize you've lost count of how many drinks you've had.
"you're full of shit"
"im not"
"you're drunk"
"so are you"
you shrug. you are.
you want to punch him when asked it. in all fairness, it was too vulgar and out of character for him. he seemed just as surprised as you, "you fuck like a woman, too?"
you don't, he finds.
with his legs pressed to his chest and his heart in his throat, he finds out exactly how you fuck. what you're working with. it's embarrassing how, when he saw your dick, he slurred out, "that's not- i can't take that"
"you whined and bitched all the way here about wanting it," he hadn't, you don't actually remember what lead to you folding him in half in his own bed. he'd been bolder the whole night before he asked it. you remember thinking something about fucking him like a woman. can't remember if you said, just that whatever you did say got him red the face and a bit handsy. you'd both gotten more than a little handsy before heading to his place. it's a bit fuzzy from then til now
"i do, im not saying don't, like. just, i don't know, look at you," he wanted to stop talking, he really did. he felt to raw, pressed into his pillows. looking up at you with your hair draped, framing your face as you stared him down from between his legs. it felt impossible to stop, "like you can't actually do anything with that, it's, you're, y'know, whatever"
"i do plenty with it, you're just whiny."
he continues to be whiny when you bully your dick into him. he takes it well. it's probably the alcohol, but he takes it like a whore. like he's used the taut stretch your putting his asshole through, mithering like he's an addict getting his fix. you weren't lying before, you do plenty with what you got, but you've never fucked into someone so easily. and he whines, grabs at your arms and shoulders, like it's nothing. like it's not his first time being fucked, like he needs more. his hands pulling your hair when untouched and full of cock, he cums, crying out "fuck,"
why you do it, you couldn't say. the word just sounds ugly in his voice, you think. with a tight grip on his face, "watch your fucking mouth"
he groans, "keep- mmh, muh... mommy, keep going, oh god, fuc-"
"mommy doesn't want to hear it" you wrap your hand over his mouth, your fingers push into his cheek. the grip is harsh, his cheeks hurt, and he can't help but endlessly moan into your hand
there's a sharpness in your hips that stutters into life as he speaks. that clench around you is intoxicating. more clear-minded you'd resist, you fuck him nice and slow until he couldn't take it or you cum. but your drunk and you need to bury your dick into his heat, need the friction of those soft, contracting muscles around you. you needed to watch his asshole pitifully try to squeeze around you. you shove his legs back up after he'd let his legs relax, wordlessly instructing him to hold them to his chest. he does poorly, too overstimulated to remember to hold them up.
it's after you cum, having half a thought to pull out, after a lazy clean up with a shirt now thrown across the room, after you're both spread out on his bed, a comfortable silence having emerged, that you ask, "did you call me-"
"shut up," he snaps. it's shocking against his usual timbre
you're hand wasn't as harsh against the meat of his ass as you'd like. it wasn't hard enough for him yelp or grunt, just enough to make him jump a bit. but you weren't really willing to move. you'll just have to remember to remind him, to properly reprimand later. "don't talk back to mommy"
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The scene of the reader playing with the knights tongue before bed keeps rotating in my mind. Mostly the power dynamic of it…erotic nonchalance dare I say. Thinking of different scenarios where we mess with him for our own interest (not necessarily pleasure) and send him on his way. (It’s what got me to follow! Love all ur work btw!! Ur descriptions and reader mannerisms have quickly won me over. Have a happy new year😚😚)
Do ya mean it? Thank you so much! I'm glad you like my writing, I wish I was a bit faster at it but hey, gotta practice. I got a physical notebook for ren faires for christmas so that ought to help next year.
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Anonymous asked:
I just wanted to say thank you for writing this wonderful if! :D Something absolutely adorable that I keep thinking about is my MC snuggling with Havard asking for snuggles even when he is writing at his desk (he might want to invest in a rocking chair honestly) be cause of how much my MC has come to trust Havard <3
Thank you!
Let's try a snippet.
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Havard is working by his desk as you peek through the door. You have often taken to napping in his office. There is no real bed but you are not picky. He has a big padded chair... but there is a better option.
You dash to his desk, and Havard himself.
"Hello MC." Havard says and sets down his pen. "Did you need something."
You nod in response and spread your arms, demanding snuggles.
"Oh." He smiles. "I see it it nap time then." He reaches down and lifts you into his arms. He adjusts a bit in his chair as you wiggle into a comfy position.
You need to sit sort of sideways a but, but you lean your head against his shoulder. Letting out a deep sigh after finding a good position, you feel your eyes growing heavy already and close your eyes.
Havard keeps you in place with one hand and picks up his pen.
"Comfy?" He asks softly.
You nod sleepily.
"Stay as long as you need. I've got you." He whispers and starts writing.
Falling asleep, you don't see the soft smile on his lips.
"Thank you." He whispers softly. "I never thought to have this just a few years back."
You are of course, already asleep.
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For more snuggles, there is one with Lexia in an older post.
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Considering I am writing this on Chritsmas Eve, I doubt if this gets out, it will be during winter.
But sitting with my family I got the idea of MC experiencing Chritsmas (or a winter fest that exists there, if there is one) for the first time and at first being scared and hesitant because they dont know whats happening but then getting so caught up in it that they turn into a happy, hyperactive mess that is unstoppable.
Sooo, I wanted to ask if you would like to write a snipped about this?
Also of course merry christmas if you celebrate and if not happy winter times and to everyone too.
It is all so... busy. You don't trust it. So you hide away in your room, and observe from a small crack in the door. Or the window.
Hmm... Why all the fuss? Over what? What had Havard said?
Winter fest? What is that? Why does it require fussing over?
You don't like it. So you hide.
But as usual, she ruins your hiding.
"Hey, kid? Wanna help the custodians put up decorations?" Lexia asks through the crack of the door you are peeking out of.
Decorations? What are those? Why should you help?
These are all questions you would ask, but Lexia is laughing and bringing you along with her.
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Winter fest is awesome! You dash from wall to wall, holding a decorative rope thing, and hanging it up. A custodian smiles as he follows you, and hangs the rope at a height higher than your shoulder.
You don't care. This is fun! Havard brought you some pastries and cookies and snacks... And the kitchens are making all sorts of food! You can't wait.
Lexia agrees to let you ride her shoulders while you put decorations on up high.
Then an idea strikes you!
Your room! And the garden! They need to be decorated! Lots and lots of decorations!
So you make Lexia commandeer some for you. It does not seem hard at all.
Havard even shows up to help you make the garden all festive. No idea what that is, but you like hanging shiny stuff off bushes and trees.
Come evening, you are all out of energy, but still grinning happily. Laying in the grass and watching your handiwork.
"Have fun, kid?"
You nod.
"Ready for dinner?" Havard asks.
And your ears perk up, and your stomach growls as you shoot into a sitting position.
Food!
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Happy holidays again! I will let this skip the queue today. Wrote it while drinking my morning coffee :D
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Anonymous asked:
Mc going inside the kitchen on their own just holding up an empty bowl for more food like a sad little orphan they are and havard finding them sitting on top of the kitchen counter fed by a dozen or so different staff who coo at them and complain for them to eat more so they aren't just skin and bone like a group of mother hens, distant aunt's and uncles.
And good heavens! when did the twins appear here too? Stop feeding them so much sugar sweets! do you all know how hard it is to bath and put to bed a kid with a sugar rush?!
Just like you practiced... You sneak into kitchens with your empty bowl. It is the middle of the day which is perfect for your purposes.
Oh, someone is already noticing you! You have to hurry, the woman is coming over.
So you sit on the floor, and hold out your bowl. You make your eyes as large as possible. Just like Lexia taught you. She said, you are very good at looking pitiful... not sure what that means but your eyes are apparently good.
You can already see the woman's steps falter for a moment. Then she doubles her speed.
It's working!
You barely have time to process what happens. "No sitting on the floor in my kitchen, you little brat!" She says, while scooping you up, and plopping you down to sit on the counter. "You!" She points at a young man, and grabs your bowl at the same time. "Get the wyvern stew." She throws your bowl at the man who rushes off to a huge pot on the fire that smells really good.
The woman spins around and inspects you. "Look at you, all skin and bones. What has Havard been feeding you, brat? You need meat on those bones." The woman muttered.
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Havard was looking for MC who was not at their room. Having asked Lexia via the communicator pin, he was now heading to the kitchen.
He arrived to find a scene that made him stop to watch the chaos. MC was sitting on the counter, stuffing their face with the help of several cooks where their own hands failed. Bruna, the head cook, loudly complained about the state MC was in between making sure the child was chewing properly and spoon-feeding MC... was that wyvern stew?
"All those ancients and can't even cure a little brat's hands... What are they good for then?" She wiped MC's mouth. "Is that good?" MC nodded, licking their lips.
"Good." Bruna tapped a cook cooing at MC on the shoulder. "Bring some of that glowberry pudding we made earlier. That should be easy to eat for dessert." She gestured towards a massive bowl full of faintly glowing pudding. MC perked up trying to see, but was distracted by a hand holding out a massive cookie that needed eating.
The cook rushed off to get some pudding. Havard could swear that there was already a clear hole in the massive pudding pile...
Bruna grabbed another cook by the hand, stopping them from giving MC a cup of something steaming. "That's emberoot juice! You want the brat to not taste anything for the week? Get something milder. Frostmelon or moonmoss." Bruna turned back to MC, seeing the cookie. "Or milk. Get milk."
"You know... I have been watching it happen and I still have no idea how the kid keeps eating." Havard glanced tot the side to find Lexia watching the scene, eating her owl bowl of stew. "It's a wonder the kid hasn't burst open yet."
Havard did observe that every cook wanted to feed MC something... and was succeeding at least when Bruna did not stop them.
"Also, look there." Lexia said and pointed.
Under the pudding table, a pair of small hands were holding out two empty bowls... The cooks pretended not to notice aside from the one who grabbed the bowls, filled them with pudding and slid them under the table.
"The twins?" Havard asked.
"Yep. Only deserts go under that table. Alessa and Sandor were by three times, but the cooks pretended not to know where the twins were. Got hit with the double puppy eyes early on and have not recovered since."
Havard sighed. He was the head custodian... It was his duty to put a stop to this. They probably already had two kids on a sugar rush, and MC was getting there....
At least MC was eating actual food... He hoped they would not throw up.
Havard decided he would do his duty... after he had a bowl of that stew.
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I am shocked at how many people don't have an actively hostile relationship with advertising
I am skipping your ads as fast as I can. I'm skipping past your sponsor read. I'm muting the tv. I'm muting the tab. If they get too annoying I will simply stop trying to watch.
If advertisers can use every manipulative trick in the book to get me to buy their product, I am fully within my rights to do everything I can on my end to make their job impossible
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Happy holidays!
You watch all the goings on at the orphanage. The kitchens are so busy....
Something is happening.
You can smell it. Literally. All the food smells really good.
You dash from the door of your own room, and make your way towards the kitchens.
You peek behind the corner....
It's too busy, too many people are working right now. You won't be able to sneak in easily...
"Here, kid." A hand with something awesome in it appear before you. "Try that. It's some kind of puff pastry and plum jam. The kitchens are cranking them out in the hundreds. They are pretty good."
You barely glance at Lexia and bite into he pastry... while it is still in her hand. Your are bad at holding stuff anyway.
You munch down happily. It is crumbly, warm and tasty...
Lexia chuckles at you. "Good?"
You nod and eye the little pieces of pastry left in her hand, considering if you should eat those too...
"Lexia, did you steal pastries?" Havard was walking down the hallway, eyeing Lexia. He is carrying a basket of something.
Lexia lifted her hands, making the crumbs fall to the ground.
You watch, disappointed. You should have gone for them when you had the change... You eye the ground.
"I did it for the kid!" Lexia says.
Your gaze snaps up. Is she pushing the fault onto you! You were just eyeing the kitchens, you didn't sneak in yet!
Havard's smiles at you. "Don't worry, MC." He says and actually pulls out another pastry from the basket! "I was coming to find you anyway." He says. "Careful, the jam is hot."
"Hey! Don't I get any!" Lexia demands.
"Depends, how many did you steal?" Havard asks, eyeing her.
"That has no bearing on the current matter." Lexia says. "I shared with MC anyway."
You pay no attention, devouring the second pastry with gusto. Crumbs and all. So tasty!
Havard and Lexia keep talking about something...
You just follow Havard and stare at the basket...
He might have more pastries in there.
You have no idea what all the fuss is about, but you like the pastries.
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I am traveling/on holiday and not actively online! This was pre-written.
This year, I am not travelling. But since I am home, I spent the day cooking and stuff so I will recycle this one from a year ago :D
Happy holidays 2025!
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Anonymous asked:
not sure if you're doing requests right now (if you aren't you can ignore this!) but if you are,
could you do a ruggie x dog beastman reader? like very clingy and hyper
[TWST] ━━━ ．°˖✧ Ruggie Bucchi ˚₊ ⊹ x Dog Beastman! Reader
Contains: Fluff, Chaos, Dating headcannons
A/N: AWWWW this is so cute I love the request so much!
Summary: Ruggie Bucchi dating a dog beastman! reader and has to accept his fate that his partner is clingy and super hyper but hey it's easier to get food together now!
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basically this is how it is for Mordred
(Original is HERE)
Mordred (MC) and Lot are from the Bastard of Camelot by @llamagirl28 play it HERE
LMAO
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I think MC almost got kind of lucky that it was just basically any person they interact with on a regular basis😆
Imagine a more selective MC who really only could have ended up/made babies with a handful of omega and so NRC was now bestowed with the ability to clock their type (especially if there’s a clear pattern)
It could be a bit embarrassing but I also just like the idea of the omegas deadpanning at what features of theirs were clearly the reason. (Some of them would hate that they’re categorised together too haha)
Or if it’s more varied maybe people interpret this as These are the omega that are potentially attracted to the MC and the omegas who already had a crush are mortified
Groupings that come to mind are:
Riddle, Lilia, Epel
Leona, Vil, Malleus
Leona, Vil, Malleus, Kalim (rich kids lol)
Epel, Vil, Silver
This is deeply funny and I can't tell you how much I laughed at this.
People really would be side eyeing the alpha so hard XD
With Riddle, Lilia, and Epel, people are judging, because they are sooooo different, but they are all petite and very pretty. Riddle and (especially) Epel are offended. Lilia thinks it's funny.
"You just want me for my body!!"
Leona, Vil, Malleus, and Kalim would be ridiculously funny too. Gold digger alert 🤭 Kalim will give you the benefit of the doubt (Jamil will not though, watch out, he's onto you), and Malleus won't make the connection, but Leona, and especially Vil are more wary.
"You just want me for my money!!"
What about an MC who could only end up with all the members of a specific club? An MC who must really find it attractive when a man can ride a horse, for example... what else can he ride? Or one that could possibly hook up with every member of the basketball team.
"You just... um, wanted a horse girl? You wanted someone who could say, "this is for you" and then completely bomb a basketball shot?"
Or maybe it's only the housewardens, because MC has a thing for omegas in positions of power, idk.
"You just want a man who wears a special uniform!"
Either way, there's so much comedy potential here 🤭
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Anonymous asked:
to go against the deadbeat allegations, how would things go with a reader who's really good with kids? whether because they have lots of little siblings, work with kids or something else? 👀 would it be more enticing to some (jamil or vil or idia for instance) because the reader is so responsible/competent?
I decided to write a little fic with Vil and this concept! Enjoy <3
[Future children AU] Vil with an alpha who's great with kids
"I don't want to do the stupid skincare today! Just leave me alone!"
"It's only moisturiser and sun cream, and you will be putting them both on, that is not up for debate. Sit back down right now."
"No! I hate you!"
You followed the voices to Vil's open bedroom door. Vil was standing with his arms crossed, staring down at his future son who was almost shaking with rage. The chair Vil used for his vanity was laying on its side on the floor.
"You will not use those words against me, little boy."