the transition from people needing each other to wanting each other is literally one of my greatest weaknesses that shit makes me want to walk into the sea and sit on the ocean floor for a thousand years

like. characters whose entire self worth is based on how useful they can be to others, who think that they're going to be abandoned as soon as they're no longer necessary, being told by someone that they want them to stay and realizing that they have value to people in and of themselves and not just for what they can do for them will never fail to completely unmake me. like on a molecular level.

it's about the moment dependence becomes devotion

collecting these

Do not attempt to out-malicious-compliance the staff at the malicious compliance conference.

Some dipshit decided to pay the conference fee ($250) in quarters. He handed us a wrapped plastic bag full of loose change. "It's all there," he said with a shit-eating grin, "you can count it."

Oh buddy. We're going to count it. What were you expecting?

At about the time I got to $60, he offered to give us $300 collateral so he could get his badge and go to the conference.

No, bud. You get to watch the most dyscalculic staffer count to a thousand while all your friends go in to the breakfast and find seats for the first talk.

"Ruining someone's day" is the favorite hobby of everyone here. Why would you hand us the perfect opportunity to wreck your shit and think that was an own? Half the con is calling him "Untraceable," the other half is calling him "Quarter Boy" and nobody cares what he says his handle is.

I spent an hour counting that and made him go fetch me baggies to hold it every fifty dollars.

This ended up being a good bonus prank for me too, because when the counting was done I wrapped the bags in gaffer's tape and spent the rest of the day handing it to people very casually while saying "oh here, hold this for a sec" and then watching they weren't ready for the weight (I only did this to people I know well enough to know this wouldn't hurt them).

It's an infosec conference, so it's a weekend in a hotel full of people whose favorite thing is breaking the law and whose second favorite thing is following the letter of the law while cheerfully violating the spirit.

Thank you, that means a lot coming from you, @unyanizedcatboys

Yes!

The conference I describe here was actually the conference where we had our first date back in 2005. Somebody snapped a photo of the reg desk while we happened to be checking in twenty years ago:

At that specific conference in 2005 the con was sharing space with a high school prom; I bought a prom dress at a thrift store around the corner (I was eighteen, I blended very well) and went to prom to liberate snacks and see if we could mess with the music, he found the open radio channel the dance security was using and the hackers sat around trying to get the security guys to laugh by running commentary on the students' outfits.

Now I volunteer to work registration every year and I've been designing the programs for the con pretty much since 2007.

The conference has taken place at like eight hotels and has only been permanently banned from three! One time the conference was scheduled at the same time as an Herbalife seminar and a Catholic singles conference. We were banned from that hotel.

make lambs legs bigger NOW send post

Wait

THE HOLY LAMB HAS CHOSEN TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS MONTH’S RITE OF LUST RITUAL

Featuring The Harlem Congaroo Dancers (a.k.a. Whitey's Lindy Hoppers): William Downes/Overalls & Frances "Mickey" Jones. Billy Ricker/Chef's Hat & Norma Miller. Al Minns/White Coat-Black Pants & Willa Mae Ricker. Frankie Manning/Overalls & Ann Johnson [taken from here]

i implore you all to watch this video that my mom took and sent me

YES EXACTLY!!! environmental storytelling

burn it 🔥

(he/him) 🐇

said this on bluesky but:

i genuinely encourage non black people to engage with this, who might be worried they can't because of the word "nigga" because they feel like it's overstepping. the only way it would be overstepping is saying it to me when ur not black, but please don't be afraid to engage with black art.

i kinda get annoyed when non black people police other non blacks on how to engage with black culture because it creates a problem where non black people avoid us all together which can be extremely isolating and create even MORE tension and overall being uneducated.

Superman II, 1980

I can't leave the Pressure fandom, it's too deeply rooted, I just can't. I still need to draw my AU based on it, I'll definitely have something to do.

This phrase has already entered my vocabulary re: media criticism where like. The viewer has a concrete view of what they expect a story to be based on the tropes and cliches they're used to seeing together, and when that doesn't happen, they judge it as a failed depiction of what they assumed it was going to be instead of judging it as what it actually is.

"This show is problematic because the hero didn't kill the villain at the end": When does he steal the bread?

"These two characters who were close friends throughout the series don't kiss at the end! What the fuck?": When does he steal the bread?

"This feels like it's missing a conclusion! Like, the protagonist does bad stuff and because of a critical decision he makes as a result of his major character flaws, meets tragedy in the end! Where's the part where he learns better and brings is love back from the dead and becomes a good guy and gets a happy ending?": When does he steal the fucking bread??

I heard this out as "When criticizing something, you must judge it for what it is, not what it isn't"

#this is why so many of us urge people to get a wider diet of stories

the entire california central valley is experiencing silent hill in real life right now by the way

400 mile long fog cloud be upon ye

it really is like that

the entire california central valley is experiencing silent hill in real life right now by the way

400 mile long fog cloud be upon ye

it really is like that

can you put that thing on a fucking leash *pointing angrily at a butterfly with beautiful iridescent wings thats not flying anywhere near you*

that’s enough emotions for a whole year. ciao

The earlier in the year you reblog this the better it gets

Thsi might be my silliest post yet

I want to be very clear on this. You can be out drinking with your friends on Friday night and dead on Sunday because of meningitis. Does that sound a little specific? Guess why I have such a specific scenario in mind.

And getting vaccinated is an easy way to prevent that. There is no medical reason to stop recommending that vaccine. There's no new study that shows that it's unsafe, there's no replacement that's better. This is literally the government making its citizenry less safe for no reason.

This is the most accurate vaccine schedule as laid out by the AAP, who have stated that they think JFKjr is bullshit: 

If you have a kid, either download this or print it and confirm with your pediatrician that this is what you want to follow.