How do you call someone who can find both men and women visually appealing but feels such strong repulsion to male and female genitalia and biology in general they find it simply impossible to engage in any kind of sexuality? I have no libido basically, and I don’t have any sexual trauma to “cause” that. Someone would call me bisexual, except I have a problem with the “sexual” part in it, becaue I’m not capable of engaging with anyone’s genitalia and I have no desire to. The closest I ever got to anyone was with another girl when I was in my teens, but even then we didn’t even kiss deeply since even kissing kinda grosses me out, caressing and slight kisses are ok I guees. But then she literally wanted to reenact scenes from porn with me… so I felt betrayed. I would feel betrayal any time I would find out someone perceives me in a sexual way. I don’t want to be perceived sexually. I think, theoretically, I could be with someone, but only if that relationship was totally celibate. But I have never met a woman like me irl, and men who don’t want to engage in sexuality literally don’t exist, sooo I’m fine with being alone.
I thought about calling myself asexual, but my problem with the “asexual” community is that often those people are sex repulsed because of some sort of sex-related trauma and after you talk to them, it turns out that somewhere in the future they wish they could “heal” and actually have sex lol. There is nothing to “heal”, you are blessed if you lack genuine desire for fornication. And were those people ever asexual in the first place? I don’t think so, but many call themselves that.
The world hates virgins and that hatred only fueled my aversion to sexuality. The only “valuable” virgins are those who plan on having sex one day. But the virgins who want to stay virginal are despised. I had other women, including my peers from school and work and my own mother, pushing sexuality on me in so many ways, telling me I’m “wasting” myself by not having sex, trying to set me up, initiating sexually charged conversations with me, it was disgusting. They want you broken like them. When I resisted and openly talked about staying a virgin, I had one whorish ghoul at my job literally spreading rumors about me going out with multiple men, but that was too crazy for other people who knew me to believe her so she was ignored lol. She would also describe to me how she had sex with her bf. Crazy behavior. Do foids consider this “normal”? There were also male coworkers lying about having sex with me after I rejected them. But such thing is expected of moids.
Someone tried to argue that my aversion to biology steams from my autism and dysphoria. Even if so, so what? There’s plenty of autistic and dysphoric people who still fornicate, which I can’t relate to. I never had that desire so I can’t identify with them. I had a desire for deep intellectual and emotional connection with someone who is celibate and again, my only suffering was caused by the fact such people barely exist and I never met anyone like me. I had people calling me many things from closeted lesbian to closeted trans man lmao. All those names mean nothing to me, no label means anything when you have no lust.
The word has been misused, but real feelings of empowerment come from holding yourself accountable and appreciating your autonomy. Going through life with the belief that one half of the population can brainwash you into giving up your brain and power is more black pilling than anything I’ve ever said. You can’t learn when you refuse to accept the part you play in your own life. Is life’s conception random? Yes. You’re unable to choose your physical characteristics or familial circumstances, but those are meaningless categorizations, which only serve to reinforce a sense of “purpose” in the position one inhabits in societal hierarchy. People can then feel as if all is helpless in regard to taking control of their lives, because there is most likely someone on top of them on the totem pole. Even more, they can feel a sense of glee and social “bonding” when ostracizing and accusing anyone who sees through this setup as being “a blackpilled doomer.” Sovereignty is happiness. It’s cultivating a sense of being that is separate from social grandstanding. You know who you are, and radiate authenticity. The collective wants you to experience fear and an engineered feeling of not belonging. You don’t belong, and that’s a good thing. Self reflection, astute observation, and honesty with yourself can bring you more than can ever be found in identifying with your randomly assigned “rankings.” You’re smart for a reason, don’t waste it.
