lurker-at-thresholds

lifeafterpsychiatry

I am so very serious when I say that minors should have a legal and easily reinforceable right to say "I don't want to live with my parents (or other adult caretakers)/I don't want to be around that person/I don't want to go to that place" and actually get their wish accommodated. So much childhood trauma could be avoided or ended if children actually had the right to leave the situation or the person hurting them.

gallusrostromegalus

copperbadge

Me for the last 15 years: Starting a timer when you have to wait for something or stand in line can be helpful, because no matter how impatient you feel you can check the timer and remind yourself it has not been several eternities and has in fact only been five minutes.

Me setting a timer when I got to bag claim just now: I'm so clever! I will now be reminded that it's only been five minutes and bag claim usually takes about twenty!

Me looking at the timer thoughtfully: ...another Very Neurotypical Moment With Sam, it appears.

copperbadge

FTR it was 17 minutes from "arriving at the bag claim" to claiming my bag, so right on time.

copperbadge

Someone tagged this post "#it’s all fun n games until baggage check takes over an hour" which is 100% legit; a common sentiment in notes is that sometimes you don't want to know how long something has taken. But that is one of the reasons I started doing the stopwatch thing in the first place!

On the one hand, timing something is about reminding myself "No, it's only been five minutes," but it is ALSO about knowing when something is taking way longer than it should.

If I'm put into an exam room in a doctor's office, I start a timer. Because I have been forgotten about in a doctor's office before, I get nervous that I'll just be sat in there forever, and the timer tells me "No, they haven't forgotten you, it's only been 10 minutes." But it also tells me if I have been there longer than appropriate (generally more than 40 minutes) so that I know when it's justifiable to flag down a nurse to find out what's going on.

At bag claim, because I know it usually takes about 20 minutes to get my bag, I don't get concerned until the timer passes the 20 minute mark without any bags appearing. At that point I know I need to take off my headphones and start paying attention -- looking at signage, maybe asking someone if I'm at the right carousel. Maybe don't worry yet, but start double-checking. Perhaps the delay is unavoidable and it'll just be an hour, but at least, having asked, I KNOW it'll be an hour, and the timer will tell me when the hour is past and I should maybe check in again.

Now, if the bags do start showing up before 20 minutes but my bag hasn't shown up by the 40 minute mark, I know that again it's time to put my head on a swivel, and at the 50 minute mark it's time to go speak to someone in the baggage claim office. This has more than once helped me locate my bag when it's accidentally been sent to the wrong part of the airport. There is no point at which, without the timer, I would go "man this is taking a long time" and then actually go ask, because I wouldn't actually know how long it had been.

The timer both prevents me from worrying before I need to and tells me when to start worrying -- essentially, because I'm both perpetually impatient and also infinitely patient, I've outsourced my patience to a stopwatch. And because I time a lot of things, I now know the average time a lot of things take, which helps me calibrate my concerns appropriately. Ten minutes is a long time to wait for a burger from McDonalds, but it's actually on the short end of the time it takes to get a burger from Shake Shack. It's not a long time to be on hold with the HR office of my old employer, but it's longer than I'd usually be on hold with my pharmacy. Et cetera.

I know I say this all the time but I still find it hilarious that I didn't know I had ADHD until I was forty years old.

copperbadge

dreamtofswallowingcoins

just want to add that I've started timing myself doing everyday chores and tasks and having a more realistic, personalized idea of how long things take has helped a lot with my time blindness.

I only just started, and it's not yet habitual, so there's only a small bit of info, but it's already made it easier to avoid rushing or getting stuck in waiting mode because it takes out a lot of the guesswork.

And it lets me have grace for myself when something is really taking it out of me. I'm right, this *is* taking forever and it isn't usually this hard, so what's going on? Do I need to rest? Eat? Did I forget my meds? Am I overwhelmed? Etc.

I feel like a scientist gathering and applying data.

Showers on typical days only take "about ten minutes" (me, 2025), therefore, I CAN shower before my appointment that's two hours away.

Contrary to popular belief, doing a quick tidy takes "less than half an hour" (me, 2026) and will not take the better part of a day. I don't need to dread or put it off because I can start a 20min episode and I'll be done before the credits roll.

The proposed estimate of "10-30 miserable minutes in the cold when the warm blankets are right there" (time blindness and depression, 2024), is erroneous, and based on pre-medicated data. As tempting as it is to go straight back to bed after peeing, my research shows that brushing teeth, including "prep and cleanup," rarely takes more than four minutes and may even improve morale and momentum when getting up for the day.

copperbadge

This is awesome and hey guess what: you ARE a scientist gathering and applying data!

I'm super proud of you and everyone who is working to keep their lives together in the face of disability and the general horrors of the world right now. Keep up the great work! And if things slip a little that's ok too. None of us are perfect. Just keep taking notes...for SCIENCE!

tinybreadcreation

LinkedIn-Kurzprofile und Lebensläufe sind out, potentielle Arbeitgeber bekommen demnächst eine Beschreibung von mir, die sich wie die liebgemeinte Vermittlung eines Tierheims liest

M. Muster hat ein freundliches, etwas unsicheres Wesen. Da sie sehr sensibel und stressempfindlich ist, sucht sie ruhige Vorgesetzte, die Halt und Sicherheit vermitteln und ihr nach und nach alles zeigen und beibringen. M. Muster ist zwar teilweise neugierig, aber vieles macht ihr auch Angst. Mit Geduld und Zuwendung wird sie zu einer tollen Kollegin. 💛

gallusrostromegalus

shutyourmoustache

hostilemakeover

g00seg1raffe

Holy fuck you illegally downloaded a cardigan

rederiswrites

@inkthusiasm

lookingatdogswhilecompilingcode

andmaybegayer

measure once cut also once, no prablem

andmaybegayer

#i know i already reblogged this but i need to like. cross stitch it or carve it into wood or quilt it or something

concept for a vcarving project

theshitpostcalligrapher

no i get you this was perfectly centered when i wrote it

shaydh

I have done the cross stitch

poolboydivision

in honor of all the times I've made this mistake irl

foone

I saw this on reddit and tracked down the source (Dinara Fakhritdinova, _climbinggirl_ on instagram), because I know there's a lot of girls here on tumblr who need to see her back muscles

peebs1701

hollowedskin

If you want to see the best in their field, Google "top women pegging"

foone

good idea

oh good lord there's strapons

official-linguistics-post

randomwordzard

the ladies call me a verb the way I'm irregular, tense, and moody

official-linguistics-post

official linguistics post

ghostcrows

dandelionpuppy

little observation i had about communicating as an autistic transmasculine person that i cannot believe only just occurred to me today;

lots of transmascs (myself included) never modified our speaking patterns. some of us just never found it important and some of us (me) are just autistic and didn't even consider that it could be something people use to clock us.

the only thing that is different about how i speak is that i have a lower voice now. i interact with the world like someone who was raised as a girl and i just never saw a problem with this, but sometimes there are misunderstandings where something that would have made sense coming from a woman is perceived differently coming from me.

as an autistic person who struggles a lot socially i find it hard to know when this is happening, and it usually only hits me a few weeks or months later.

the specific thing that i was thinking about today was that i still do things like sounding unsure of myself even when i know something to be a fact.

if a woman is trying to explain something and she second guesses herself and ends with '..does that make any sense?', it is understood as her being less confident in her own ability to communicate an idea.

if a transmasc person continues to do the same thing after they start to pass, it suddenly reads completely different and might even come across as condescending if said to a woman

the phrase 'does that make sense?' goes from meaning 'i don't know whether or not i adequately communicated my idea to you, please can you either confirm or deny?' to 'i don't know whether you're intelligent enough to comprehend these Big Manly Concepts i am telling you about'

i don't really know what the take away is from this.. i don't feel as though it's my responsibility to change who i am because people might misunderstand me, and i couldn't even if i wanted to, but i just noticed it and wanted to acknowledge it because it seems obvious but this is something i literally JUST realised and i feel very silly.