there is no doubt in my mind that dennis has fucked the dennis sex doll
woken up this morning to an extremely devastating dennis thought and maybe someone else has said it before so apologies if that is the case and i am not even sure how to word it because i feel like i need to expose my entire train of thought in order to do so and that is so long but i’m gonna give it my best shot.
someone asked me the gang’s favorite genres of music so i was searching up the specific genres of all their fave artists to make sure i was being accurate and like it was funny i was having a lil laugh to myself over mac accusing dennis of liking glam rock femme shit as if he doesn’t listen to shit like bon jovi and whitesnake, and then i was like okay what if i made a collage of like who mac listens to vs who dennis listens to because when you put them all together and compare them its another perfect example of their “predator vs lethal weapon” “gay vs bi” dynamic.
so i was sifting through my playlists and running through the episodes in my brain trying to get a variety of artists and i remembered dennis mentioning alanis morissette when trying to justify his encounter with ms klinsky and i was like okay that implies that she counts as a musician he likes and is even potentially attracted to so then i went onto pinterest and was gathering my images and i searched up her name and like i already knew what she looked like i adore her as a musician but i don’t think i’ve gone out of my way to look at her face in years so the memory was foggy and when i saw her my brain just made this tragic connection that she kind of looks a bit like maureen.
and i started getting so emotional because when you think about how he remembers ms klinsky as being this beautiful woman and everyone is like no she was fucking gross its clear that he’d obviously blocked out the memory in self-preservation and i’ve like tried to briefly write dennis coming to terms with being raped before a couple of times nothing in depth but i always describe it as if the image he’d built up in his head physically starts to unravel when the others start explaining what actually happened and then you think about how in love with maureen he was in high school and how he refers to her as “the last time he had feelings” and says he feels like a “14 year old kid or something” when they get back together, which obviously, when paired with “gross you were 14 so technically you were raped”, suggests that his relationship with maureen happened before he was assaulted (obviously we know that already but just reiterating for context) and that the abuse he suffered was the catalyst of his mental collapse.
with this knowledge in mind that maureen is basically the last time he felt normal, and then knowing that he’s completely bent the memory of his csa in order to cope with it - altering how the woman responsible for abusing him really looked and instead turning her into someone he deems desirable (aka, in his mind, alanis morissette, who then resembles the girl who represents the last time he felt normal before he was raped) - its literally almost like he used maureen as a shield of protection against facing truth of what actually happened with ms klinsky, like a way of forcing himself to forget it because instead he thinks of someone like maureen who he associates with love and happiness, does that make any fucking sense ????
i am wording this so terribly and its also one of those things where i’m like woah the levels here are fucking insane there’s no way this is a coincidence how has it just fallen into place like that but then if i actually tried to talk to rcg about this theory they’d probably be like “idk man i guess we didn’t think about it” lol but i’m GOING CRAZY OVER HERE falling to my knees again over maureen and the idea that dennis basically used her likeness as a means to remembering/confronting his csa the way it actually happened and instead replacing the bad memory with something good. i don’t fucking know, i’m tired and this is probably unreadable but my heart literally bleeds for him
i wrote this a year ago in my trash twins study which i feel explains better what i mean about how the realisation hits him (obviously i didn’t write the imaginary woman as alanis/maureen because i was just making whatever up) but idk its just so sad and its not very relevant to anything but i just had to get it out there
dennis turns 50 episode manifestation circle. twins surprise birthday party at paddy’s. classic old open of him going to the store the day before or something and getting roasted by a group of teenagers for being an old man and he’s all like “old??? i’m only-” but then it hits him - he’s turning fifty.
dee making fun of him for letting himself go post-opening credits when he turns up to work wearing sweatpants again for the twentieth day in a row because all his jeans are too tight and his sweats are the only item that fits him anymore. dennis blames it on mac shrinking the washing and mac tries to defend him but probably ends up saying some stupid shit like “shut the fuck up you dumb bitch!!!!! its not his fault!!!! its so much harder to stay in shape as you get older!!!!” making it worse and then lifting up his shirt to wipe his face or something moments later and revealing he’s still shredded and all his clothes still fit. charlie coming up from the basement after overhearing dennis bitch about his back hurting trying to bend down to move a crate and attempting to make him feel better by relating to his joint aches and muscle pains but he’s like effortlessly carrying like three kegs or some shit at the same time. frank cracking some braindead joke about how clearly must have inherited his genes instead of bruces which even dee defends doesn’t make any sense.
later that night on shift dennis tries to hit on some mid-twenty-something customers and gets rejected for being older than their dads and he crashes, regressing to season 2 levels of emotional. samantha being the only one to offer any kind of kindness and telling him that he looks great and to embrace the ageing process but dennis snaps back in typical dennis denial about how he “won’t be doing that” because his body “scientifically rejects the process of ageing” and even his doctors have said that its “medically impossible for him to look old”, retaliating that everyone is just trying to make him feel shit before his birthday because they’re jealous that he’s aged the best before storming out.
mac bursting into dennis’ room the morning of his birthday with a big extravagant tray of breakfast and running his mouth about all the ideas he has about how to celebrate it, but dennis throws his back out while sitting up and becomes sad, which is followed by a vulnerable moment of him confiding that he doesn’t want to do anything for his birthday and would rather just treat it as a normal day, all while mac nods along agreeing while giving him a totally platonic pec massage.
beautiful callback to aluminum monster vs fatty magoo that afternoon with a the substance-esque mirror scene of him trying to do his makeup as he gets ready for work, referencing the way he did his lipstick in one swift perfect move back then but 20 years later and his hand is shaky this time, smudging it as he applies and reapplies over and over elisabeth sparkle style before breaking down and smashing the mirror when concealer cracks around his laugh lines.
dennis arrives at the pub expecting to work only to find out mac has invited everyone on the planet for a massive party. dee is feeling the complete opposite to dennis (the gang group dates vibes) so she’s dancing on tables and necking shots and embarrassing herself as she goes on some manic spiral about how she’s finally reaching her second act meanwhile dennis has an insufferable night of backhanded age-related comments from all the worst possible side characters to be receiving advice from.
mac has made dennis a huge birthday cake, and keeps approaching dennis with it throughout the night encouraging him to have some, which dennis refuses in public when still at the bar in fear of further humiliation, but he secretly takes it home with him while no one is looking when he inevitably leaves the party early before anyone else can have any. after lighting/blowing out the candles himself and flopping back onto the couch, he binge eats the entire thing in private with his hands while watching all his old sex tapes in the living room on the main tv, frosting round his mouth and mascara streaking down his face as he sits alone in the apartment, sobbing in crisis and mourning the deluded memories of his youth.
not quite sure how it would end. i didn’t get that far. probably something beautifully silly and meta about age itself in true sunny fashion. maybe dee ended up having just as much of an awful time and turns up to dennis’ apartment where they make popcorn and watch trash tv like they did when they were young. in an ideal world it would end with dennis waking up the next day with reluctant goals to get fit and asking mac if he can go to the gym with him, but when they arrive his realises his back still hurts and he’s uncomfortable as shit having not bought new gym clothes in over ten years and honestly he just really would rather be doing anything else, so they ditch it and get hot and sweaty in the locker rooms as mac gives dennis a special kind of work out before driving to applebees, but thats just me personally as rcg don’t have the guts for such deliciousness. no one asked for this but its on my mind so have at it
i think my favorite sunny theory will always be that dennis wanted mac to lose weight because he hated that he thought fat mac was hot
so fucking sorry to op in advance because i’m about to clog this post with so much waffle but i promise it’s only because you have inspired me !!!! and honestly i could write essays on Dennis’ fluctuating perception of fat Mac [and Mac’s body in general]. its one of the most interesting aspects of their dynamic to me because its this fucking constant battle between the two of them for completely different reasons and i have so many thoughts and theories on every aspect of it and how they all correlate.
for one, season 7 is objectively Mac’s most confident era - in fact, the “better” shape he gets himself into throughout the show, the more his self esteem deteriorates - and it’s is one of the only times we see him content with his lifestyle. Dennis can’t understand this because, even though he pretends not to be, he is ashamed of his own weight and eating habits, and therefore cannot comprehend the idea of anyone else being okay with “letting go”, as “letting go” - or at least the thought of other people believing he has “let himself go” - is something he spends his whole life actively trying to avoid [only to, more often than not, fail].
i don’t necessarily think Dennis hates that he’s attracted to fat Mac any more than he hates being attracted to Mac in general. i think the initial “disgust” he expresses towards Mac gaining weight is because that is how he thinks he should be reacting to it due to the rules he has made for himself regarding perfection and control, and - in Dennis’ mind - Mac gaining weight goes against these rules [which then unravels everything Dennis has tried to convince himself of in order to attempt restriction and evidently makes him even more susceptible to a lapse in discipline].
it’s not that Dennis dislikes being attracted to Mac even after he has gained weight out of basic judgement, its that he despises how happy and confident and carefree Mac is during that period, as Dennis wants this for himself but would never purposefully allow himself such freedom in fear of being perceived in the way he is pretending to perceive Mac, which is “disgusting” [if that makes any sense at all]. When Mac gains weight, Dennis acts as though he is vigilant and health conscious, and overcompensates this by shaming Mac for being the opposite, only to - as per usual - cave again in the very first episode and start to match Mac’s eating habits almost instantly, with no further resentment towards Mac’s weight for the rest of the reason.
the most interesting part about it to me is how it manifests in the following season. when you look back at the season 7 timeline, it begins with Dennis complaining about Mac’s weight and trying to convince him to lose it because of “outrageously gross” he is. He vents about his own latest attempts at fasting, going on about how fit and healthy he is in spite of how miserable he’s finding his diet, only to be shown up in the hospital as equally as “unhealthy” as Mac, nearly passing out after merely missing lunch, and ending the episode breaking his restrictions again and immediately matching Mac’s diet.
in Frank Reynolds: Little Beauties, Dennis eats the same amount of pizza as Mac, whereas Charlie only has one and we don’t see Dee eat any, and in The High School Reunion, we find out Dennis is wearing slim-wear under his clothes in an attempt to look thinner. we also find out that the only reason Mac put on weight in the first place is because of a lazy attempt at carbo loading gone wrong - it’s not actually got anything to do with any real compulsive eating.
season 8 comes around and Mac has totally slimmed down again, which we realise in universe is down to Dennis giving him size pills to make him lose weight, which - according to Dennis - is because of how “gross and disgusting” he had become [language we haven’t heard him use about it since the first episode of season 7]. sure, Dennis! whatever you say, Dennis! but what’s the real reason?
my genuine theory is that the reason he starts giving Mac the size pills is because Dennis finally started to notice his own weight creep up [hence the girdle] after continuing to mirror Mac’s diet, and therefore concluded that it must be all Mac’s fault. this used to be a little joke i had with myself like haha wouldn’t that be funny, but after looking at both seasons closely, i truly think it makes a lot of sense. Dennis, in his mind, is strict and healthy and disciplined. Dennis Reynolds?? the Golden God?? “letting himself go???” he couldn’t possibly have “let himself go” - he’s not like Mac, this is all Mac’s fault, Mac did this - so he gives Mac the pills with the logic that “if Mac loses weight then so will he.”
only this doesn’t happen. at the end of Frank’s Pretty Woman, Mac and Dennis buy oversized bahamas shirts - Mac telling Dennis he will “grow into his” - and then in the following season, you see Mac - sixty pounds lighter again - wearing Dennis’ bahamas shirt from before as if to imply that Dennis did more than just grow into it and has now actually grown out of it, and thus has given it to Mac. this is supported by various things; Dennis continues to eat repeatedly throughout the season - bar snacks in various episodes, church wafers, cereal in secret, seems fairly miserable about his salad in The Gang Dines Out although this is extremely typical of Dennis who is always eating and statistically eats twice as much as the rest of the gang throughout the show, but the best part of this particular body image story arc is The Gang Gets Analyzed;
- Mac confesses that Dennis has been giving him size pills
- Dennis confirms this, saying his reasoning is because Mac’s previous weight was “gross and disgusting”
- as the boys wait for Dee in the waiting room, Mac is stood up, doing exercises, and Dennis is sat down next to him, eating a burger [he’s the only one that’s brought food with him to a therapy session #heeatswhenhesuncomfortable]
- Mac innocently suggests that Dennis exercises with him, and then further suggests “better yet” that Dennis get up on his shoulders so he can “have more weight on his back”
- Dennis clearly becomes irritated and cuts him off, offering Mac a size pill
- Mac stands his ground and decides he doesn’t want to take the size pills anymore, instead stating wants to get in shape on his own, and Dennis hates this
- Charlie later then exposes that Dennis has been eating “all day” when confessing to all of them that he served them pigeon lol
this is so interesting to me because it’s literally like Dennis can’t win with himself. he wants Mac to get in shape again because he blames Mac for his own lapse in discipline, but he doesn’t want Mac to get in shape again on his own because that would remove Dennis from Mac’s routine and force Dennis to confront that his own lapse in discipline is his own fault. Mac naturally has more discipline than Dennis anyway - Mac is perpetually chastised by religious guilt and Dennis grew up spoiled and has been waited on hand and foot his entire life - and so Dennis has to feel as though he is in control of Mac’s discipline, or else he would have to face the reality that he is not as disciplined as he thinks he is - which deep down he already knows.
it’s kinda the same with the asskickers plot. i’ve talked about it before but the hypocrisy of Dennis creating a fake cult dedicated to preaching the dangers of how fattening and unhealthy thin mints are in order to get Mac to stop eating his thin mints, even though he is the one going out of his way to make the cult so he can have the thin mints all to himself is so funny to me. when he shames Mac for eating them in the episode, he isn’t shaming him because he genuinely believes that Mac is “letting himself go” again, he is shaming him because he is jealous that Mac can freely eat a box of thin mints and still maintain discipline after, which is something Dennis can’t do.
any remote sense of disdain or repulsion Dennis shows towards Mac’s rare moments of indulgence aren’t actually because he finds Mac unattractive like that, it’s envious projection because he knows that he doesn’t have the same self control as Mac and therefore has to take it out on Mac in order to make himself feel better. just like when Dennis gets back from North Dakota to see Mac completely shredded and still tries to jab at him for “gaining a lil weight” even though he knows full well that Mac has done the opposite.
Dennis has to take such extremes to maintain restriction or self control. after surrendering to “no restrictions” in Frank’s Pretty Woman, when Mac asks him what he wants more than anything, he says crack, and this isn’t unintentional. the first time Dennis gets addicted to crack is in the same season Dee tells him that he’s getting fat, and his next on-screen crack relapse happens after Dee tells him he’s getting fat again, so its no coincidence that the first thing he wants after publicly binging a load of fast food is the same hardcore stimilant drug known for appetite suppression he has resorted to when insecure about his weight previously.
restriction comes naturally for Mac, and Dennis despises this, which is why he is always so desperate to destroy Mac’s self esteem, but it doesn’t really work because Mac doesn’t have the same self image issues Dennis does - this isn’t to say Mac doesn’t have self image issues, he definitely does, its just that his are very different to Dennis’ - and therefore he can’t win.
so like YEAH! Dennis does hate that he finds fat Mac attractive but it’s so much deeper than, like, surface level judgement, do you know what i mean???
there’s also all the shit that Mac does to Dennis in return for completely different reasons, but i fear that is something for another post, as i have already completely raided this poor persons light-hearted banger thinkpiece enough, so i think this is all for now, but ughhhHhHhghhhh !!!!!!! macdennis and their beautifully toxic weaponisation of each others self perception is something So Fucking Important To Me
at the risk of being seen as weird, mac being bothered by not being molested in "charlie got molested" is fascinating to me because not only it's i think the first time i see a man being victim of a system that taught him that to be oppressed is a form of desire you should seek but also it feeds into his inferiority complex and need to be loved to the point he would rather try to seduce a teacher if it means he's going to receive a shred of attention from any parental figure. like of course the repressed gay man with a neglectful mother and violent father in prison is bothered by the fact he wasn't seen as good enough to be assaulted by a teacher. it's also why out of all the hookups he had with women he was chasing dennis and dee mother the most because she was an older woman who used him, he LOVES those who hurt him because it feeds into his religious obsession with torture and shame and satisfy his costant need to be punished for being alive. it adds so much more when you consider his parents don't give a fuck about him, he uses catholic guilt as a need for self control and regulation because he had none in his life
macdennis + reality reflecting on fantasy
my daily routine consists of me waking up and gradually committing all 7 deadly sins throughout the day. then i sleep
this comment on glenn’s ig is the funniest ig comment ive ever read
when you adopt a stray homosexual into your girl gang
