Do not attempt to out-malicious-compliance the staff at the malicious compliance conference.
Some dipshit decided to pay the conference fee ($250) in quarters. He handed us a wrapped plastic bag full of loose change. “It’s all there,” he said with a shit-eating grin, “you can count it.”
Oh buddy. We’re going to count it. What were you expecting?
At about the time I got to $60, he offered to give us $300 collateral so he could get his badge and go to the conference.
No, bud. You get to watch the most dyscalculic staffer count to a thousand while all your friends go in to the breakfast and find seats for the first talk.
“Ruining someone’s day” is the favorite hobby of everyone here. Why would you hand us the perfect opportunity to wreck your shit and think that was an own? Half the con is calling him “Untraceable,” the other half is calling him “Quarter Boy” and nobody cares what he says his handle is.
I spent an hour counting that and made him go fetch me baggies to hold it every fifty dollars.
This ended up being a good bonus prank for me too, because when the counting was done I wrapped the bags in gaffer’s tape and spent the rest of the day handing it to people very casually while saying “oh here, hold this for a sec” and then watching they weren’t ready for the weight (I only did this to people I know well enough to know this wouldn’t hurt them).
It’s an infosec conference, so it’s a weekend in a hotel full of people whose favorite thing is breaking the law and whose second favorite thing is following the letter of the law while cheerfully violating the spirit.
Ah, man. What a great post.
*ties ballsack tightly with a hemp rope* TAKE IT FROM HERE DELORES! *Delores the amazon dressed in tight leather puts on a pair of spiked high heels. She starts stomping the sack* Oh! Ow! Oh god! Fuck yeah in the sack! Thats my sack! Oof! Oh! The sack baby, OHH!
yo what the fuck happened to this post
I’m. I’m not the only one seeing this right. Please tell me I’m not the only one seeing this.
I feel like when people shut down ANY debate around ozempic with “don’t talk about other people’s bodies / choices” what they actually mean is just “stop questioning thinness as the ideal”.
It’s absolutely possible to talk about societal trends without making it about specific individuals. I do think it’s shitty for the media to pick apart one person’s body and to be like “LOOK at HER” with clickbaity before and after pictures and speculation about their diet. I don’t think that helps anyone. But we can and should talk about the clear returning trend towards very skinny bodies and the normalisation of weight loss drugs. And the impact this will have on people growing up in the midst of this culture.
What I need people who aren’t fat and aren’t disabled to understand too is that doctors are actively pushing Ozempic on us even when it would be actively harmful to us. Ozempic is contraindicated for several of my conditions, it would actually damage my heart. But I have had doctors literally put the Ozempic needle in my hand and tell me “I can’t treat you if you don’t take this.” I got told to take Ozempic at my ADHD assessment. I got told to take Ozempic when I was having my regular endometriosis checkup. It isn’t just “judging other people” there is a serious, genuine problem with how it is being forced on people, especially disabled people being falsely told we won’t get treatment if we don’t go on it. I’m very lucky that 1, I did the reading and found out “holy shit this actually would be very dangerous for me” and 2, I have a fantastic GP who understands my conditions and told me directly “I would never recommend Ozempic to someone with your conditions” but most disabled people do not have the luxury of a good GP who has your back (and note that I’m in Australia so I actually have time to talk to my GP for longer than 15 minutes)
I seriously consider the current push for Ozempic a disability rights issue.
This!! I’ve been offered ozempic by my GP, thankfully she listened when I said I wasn’t interested in that. But most fat people I know have been recommended it or been on it. A friend of mine (who isn’t even fat) was told to go on ozempic for a while to lose some weight for a hernia surgery, and no one had even told her that it makes you nauseous. People are so convinced that weight loss is such a magical wonderful thing that no price could be too high, they act like the risks and side effects of ozempic don’t exist. And I know this is not a new phenomenon but it’s definitely having a Moment.
ALT
ALT
