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to honor the pterodactyl and exalt its bones

@a-possum-by-night

25 - no pronouns, do not refer to me

once when i was ten, so seventeen years ago, i was on one of the neopets forums that was in 2006 frequented mostly by edgy teenagers with pete wentz urls who wanted to get around the ban on romance and gay talk to discuss mcr members making out. and it was well past midnight and i was secretly on an extremely clunky laptop the size of a modern desktop, sitting on my top bunk in the tiny room i shared with my sister. and i do not remember the forum topic at all but at some point one of the participants politely asked me, "hey, how old are you, anyway? twelve?" and when i honestly replied "ten," he responded:

"WOAH. Kid, you'd better get off the boards. Wandering the Neoboards at 2 AM is like walking nekkid through the Bronx with your wallet dangling from your nipplz."

and this frightened me so much i slammed the computer shut and went to bed immediately. seventeen years later i still remember this message word for word. including the filter-avoidance misspellings. i need everyone to know about this formative childhood memory. bronx wallet nipplz guy if you're out there hmu and tell me what ur deal was

for years the only thing on my laptop's desktop was this photo of john cena that i named "i know i'm marrying your mother but you don't have to call me dad unless you want to.jpeg"

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