tiktoks with vine energy pt. 18

best typo ive ever made i think

reblog if you feep stupid

spose we're all feeping stupid today

and you know what i don’t believe katy perry really kissed a girl

omg it’s dr. roberta bobby, author of one of my favorite tweets ever written

Omg she wrote one of my favorites also

everybody was normal fighting~ *non-racist riff*

I got curious, so without looking up the reddit thread because I hate reddit, I went to the list of Barbie's careers. Because of course people have dated lists of those.

Her first 28 years are fairly tame, until we reach 1987's Canadian Mountie Barbie. Reasonable odds for a cop, even if they're not a USAmerican cop.

in 1991, we get US Air Force Pilot Barbie, US Marine Corps Sergeant Barbie, US Navy Petty Officer Barbie. There's also 1992's US Army Barbie, if those guys were feeling left out. I'm also ignoring the 1989 US Army Barbie because that one is 100% a stolen valour runway look, not a uniform.

Going to run my autism over those four.

US Navy Petty Officer Barbie is wearing quartermaster's rating insignia, so no combat for her.

US Army Barbie is wearing an airborne maroon beret with no rank insignia that I could see, but she's loaded down with medical supplies, so I'm gonna say combat medic, but only as many kills as her other medical endeavours.

US Air Force Pilot Barbie is wearing a jacket that looks like a Top Gun tie-in. The unit patch is just the USAF coat of arms, and the name patch says she's a Captain. VERY confusingly, the plane on the box art is an F-5, which had just recently been retired. But its USAF usage was almost all in the OPFOR Aggressor squadrons, which is... "come play enemy planes for our training exercises".

US Marine Corps Sergeant Barbie is wearing E-5 Sergeant's insignia, and three medals (she's in dress uniform). To my eye, and allowing for badly printed colours, looks like Navy and Marine Achievement Medal, Marine Corps Good Conduct Medal, and the South West Asia Service Medal. The first two are fairly obvious "Barbie Is Well Behaved" stuff, but uh. That last one though?

USMC Barbie was in Desert Storm.

And if she was in a support role there, well, 1993 gave us USAmerican Cop Barbie. Case closed.

blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed

blowjob? more like job blows! #employed

Oh, okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don’t know, that gaslight gatekeep girlboss meme, for instance, because you’re trying to tell the world that you think modern feminism has been co-opted by corporations. But what you don’t know is that that meme is not from Instagram, it's not from Twitter, it's not from Tiktok, it’s actually from Tumblr. You’re also blithely unaware of the fact that in January 2021, Tumblr user missnumber1111 posted, "today's agenda: gaslight gatekeep and most importantly girlboss." And then I think it was a-m-e-t-h-y-s-t-r-o-s-e, wasn’t it, who reblogged it with an image of the phrase edited over a piece of "Live, Laugh, Love" wall art? And then gaslight gatekeep girlboss showed up in the feeds of eight different Twitter repost accounts. Then it filtered down through Instagram and then trickled on down into some tragic “alt side of Tiktok” where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that meme represents millions of notes and countless Tumblr users and so it’s sort of comical how you think that you’ve made a choice that exempts you from Tumblr when, in fact, you’re wearing the meme that was selected for you by the people in this room. From a pile of “stuff.”

I swear this is how I feel every time I see a Tumblr screenshot out in the wild

I've only barely started playing MTG but I am so far baffled as to how the community doesn't have some IRL equivalent of Pokemon gyms. People put so much effort into creating decks with unique theming, and while plenty of people are trying to optimize their decks to be flawlessly unbeatable, even more just seem to really like decks with cool themes surrounding particular creature types or mechanics.

I just think Magic would lend itself really well to a type of semi-competitive scene where you and your buddies can hop on the bus to the next town over to go fight Crab Guy (guy who likes crabs) at the Crab Gym (room at the back of a game store with paper crabs on the walls) to get your Crab Badge (small pin with a crab on it) by defeating his Crab Deck (deck whose only creature cards are crabs)

LIVE SLUG REACTION???!!

YOU'RE KIDDING ME THE SLUG IS GAY??????

LMFAO