I love rat snakes they’re so cute and cuddly. Unfortunately, they want to get in your house and cuddle.

They love to live on your porch and deal with pests and be really chill and then sneak in when you least expect it. They’re trying so hard to be domesticated. Sorry bud, you’re so shiny and dark and beautiful but you’re an outside friend.

ratsnake perfec t for domestication put rat snake in House good friend to human very Companion and Friend have good time with ratsnake in house. Put Ratsnake In House. No problems ever ratsnake in house because ratsnake perfect size give Help and Support to human. A ratsnake perfect pet for human can trust ratsnake to be good companion to Human. friend ratsnake.

very compelling argument

???

happy anniversary to the great molasses flood

mastering ancient breathing techniques in the mountains of china to control my heart rate finely enough to jam out a sick tune on the hospital’s heart monitor

tv pitch: a completely average workplace sitcom except that it’s established at the end of the pilot that it takes place on the 90th floor of the world trade center in 2000. every episode the date is shown, just to build the sense of impending doom. the show is otherwise a completely generic the office ripoff. the intro sequence is a montage of airplanes taking off.

at the end of the second season, we reach 9/10/01. after six months of waiting, season 3 drops. now it’s 9/12/01. nothing has happened. the characters carry on as normal. fans of the series go insane. the show never explains what happened, and continues to pretend it’s a normal sitcom.

Hey op did you ever get the tattoo? Do you still like it?

Fuck this is a wild one to see again, especially as someone now about 3 weeks away from officially making it past 25:

- I remember 2016 as being the worst year of my fucking life, in ways it’s gonna be hard to beat and the universe better not fuckin try

- since 2016, I’ve gotten a degree in a field that I love, been in a toxic relationship, had a toxic relationship end, been in a kind but ultimately not what we wanted relationship, had that end too, been single for a while, learned I’m trans, started hrt, gotten in a different lovely proudly queer relationship which I’m very happy in, made friends, lost friends, mourned friends, made new friends, gotten a job I liked, made manager, quit, got another job that lets me do a bit of good in the world, gotten top surgery, travelled, swam shirtless in the warm sea, written half a dozen zines and a poetry chapbook, performed poetry, accepted I’m probably never gonna make a career out of poetry alone, gone on and off and on again various mental health treatments and hopeful that this one will stick for as long as it needs to, walked probably a thousand or more cumulative miles wearing through the soles of half a dozen or more boots, laughed, cried, rested, collapsed from fatigue, crawled back out again

- if I could reach back to the kid making this post… buddy, I’m not gonna say it’ll all be alright, because that’s pat and trite and diminishes the very real struggles of growing. But we cut our hair and change our name and grow a beard and we’re not Quite out of the shitty little hometown but we’re getting there. I think you’d like the jumper I’m wearing. I saw mcr live and I know you’d kill me with jealousy for it. I took you with me, as much as I could. I still think you’ve got great taste in movies, and I’ve got some new recs for you.

- I now have 4 tattoos! None of them are the ones I thought I’d have, but that’s okay. The first one is not an art style I’d choose today but the design holds a ton of meaning for me, and always will, and I don’t regret it. The other 3 are a more cohesive art style - maybe I could have changed the placement or tweaked some details, but I don’t need to, they’re part of me now and they’re beautiful for it. I’m excited to get more and to live long enough to reflect on them like this again and again and again

- 25 felt impossibly old to you. Right now it feels both impossibly old and impossibly young. I’m glad I got to see what it brought me, even the shit parts

- I’ll put aside a slice of cake next month in your honour

I’m glad I asked. I’m glad you’ve made it this far. I hope we both make it another 10 years and it keeps being worth it.

I have so many thoughts about the relationship between various conservative/Trad movements and actual historical women's clothing

Because like they always say they want women to dress modestly and more old-fashioned, but in practice they don't actually mean it. They want history filtered through a heavy lens of modern beauty standards, and if someone tries to go farther than that in appearing historical, they get mad about how it's "weird" or "too fussy" or something 

(Which is why, in my experience, I've noticed vintage/historical fashion enthusiasts who lean into the stuff that's offputting by modern standards tend to be more progressive)

Actual Phone Conversation I Had With A Girl Absolutely Going Through It This Morning:

me very quickly: hi this is dylan from x. how are you today? is now a good time to talk?

girl on the phone: what? oh you know! it's just work, work, work.

me: haha yeah! Just another busy Monday :)

girl on the phone i have known for exactly 11 seconds: sometimes i wish it would just stop. it's relentless. and it's every week! how many mondays can someone go through?

me trying to do my job: ha ha i know right? so I'm calling--

girl on the phone i have known for exactly 16 seconds: i'm so tired. i'm soooooo tired. shelby kept me up all night again. she will not get over keegan. they keep calling each other just to yell i swear to god.

me: only 4 days till the weekend and some sleep! :D

girl: yeah. but she's sleeping with me. at my house. didn't he tell you? who is going to get the dog? or the fucking 300 dollar blender I got them?

me: unfortunately no! so i would love to know more but the reason i'm calling is to get you scheduled for x job interview are you still interested?

girl whispering: what?

me awkwardly: it's...i'm dylan. from x. the x job you applied for. we would like to interview you for it.

girl: oh my god. no. oh my - I am so sorry. I thought you were my friend--I cannot believe--I told you work was relentless. I don't really mean that! I talked about blenders!

me: no, no I totally get it. It can be. But that's why you're interviewing for somewhere better! Tell Shelby to apply too! Do you have any availability on Thursday?

love the genre of discourse that’s like “the world used to be [thing it never was] but now society is [I’m over thirty]”

evergreen post

E-excuse me, Ngozi???

Once you get to a certain level of advanced maths, you basically become a wizard.

this is what a page of my wizards spellbook looks like

My boyfriend glanced at my phone from like five feet away and went “oh you looking at the standard model” like SIR why can you recognize this equation by shape

why is this one broken?

from a tumblr site perspective, because i did not add a title to it, so it didn’t fully register. from a supernatural perspective? because you can’t save him. because it’s always too late. because you always made that choice and said what you said and he never gets to hear anything different. because this is how the story ends. because this is how it started.

shipping two men who have never spoken: yawn

shipping two women who have never spoken: beautiful, creative, feminist, innovative, important, groundbreaking

Is this about the brokeback mountain wives

its about superhero comics but im just glad everyones having fun

when applied to drinks, "dry" means "without sugar". therefore it follows that sugary drinks can be called "wet". the meanings of the terms "hot" and "cold" when applied to drinks are obvious. thus the aspect of any drink can be determined.

for instance, green tea, freshly steeped and served without additives, is hot and dry, and therefore has an aspect of fire.

a mocha, on the other hand, while hot, is sweet, and therefore wet, and thus has an an aspect of air.

lemonade, which is wet and cold, has a water aspect.

finally, the drink which most epitomizes the earth aspect, being both cold and dry, is vodka

635.9525

succulents

Just throwing this out there:

There's so much potential for Dex's dialect to be Acadian, which would juxtopose hilariously with Jack's Québécois.

ok hear me out tho: dex is the one with tattoos

Are the black lines along his ribs lobster legs? Because if so, that would be hilarious and actually pretty awesome.

I will be honest and say I just put them to fill space BUT they are now officially lobster legs. Thank u for your contribution, perhaps I will make another drawing of this only bc it would be the stupidest largest seafood tattoo ever and I do want to see that.