burn it 🔥

(he/him) 🐇

Video caption: Good guy who talks like a bad guy 

“Perhaps you’d like to see my pets. They were ALL … rescues.” 

“And as always, gentlemen, our profits will be … donated.” 

“Oh, I wish I could stay and chat, but I’m afraid I have to take my friend to the airport.” 

Redeemed villain who can’t let the speech pattern go

reblog to bonk prev with yr forehead like a cat

“You roll a critical success for making your father proud, Son.” Cast a cantrip on that like button, fill out your character sheet in the comments, perform a bonus action with a repost, follow to join the party, and toss a coin to your cartoonist on Patreon if MDiD always brings you to the table! 🏰 https://www.patreon.com/myDadisDracula

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

OP the tags!!

i am massively overdue for a very very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

reblog to give prev a very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

Original song : TWICE(트와이스) - Strategy

animation meme - ft. Mr Ant Tenna and Caine TADC

Caine is animated by Megg

Tenna is animated by Me

EVIL NEW YEAR, EGGPIRE!!! 2026 WILL BE THE YEAR OF WORLD DOMINATION, TRUST ME!

This is the year, sir. Your empire will succeed!

It will! I've got this! There's no way I'll lose this year!

Look at these guys👆

Look at this imbecile who didn't even spell his own surname right. WHO is Sonic The Hegdehog?

Eggman makes fun of people with Dyslexia

Sonic makes fun of fat people to the point I had to reclaim the name he used to bully me and made it my own.

I'm a different person now,

Baldy Mcnose hair

Sonic makes fun of bald people and people with unique facial hair

Sonic makes fun of

bald people and people with

unique facial hair

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

on documenting my thoughts (stanzas 1-3) (2025)

THE GUYS IN THE BACKGROUND MAKE MY LIFE. THEY’RE SO PROUD OF HER. FUCK YES

This is one of the very first things I reblogged and I still love it

This is one of the

very first things I reblogged

and I still love it

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

The kiss meter is rising… 💕👀(the goal was achieved on X)

... the worst bit is I know several people this could be, especially given the 'in Australia' clarification

If you know them then there's a chance I might know some of them and that thought will keep me up at night.

This wasn’t the guy who we all know who used to spray his jeans with Mortein and then light himself on fire, was it?

He used to sit at the back of the bus, cup his hand, spray deodorant into it, then open it and light it on fire with a lighter in one fell swoop to try and impress girls.

He had to stop because the bus company begged our school to tell him to stop bc of legal liability. His hands never actually got damaged after doing it for about a year.

I reached out to my old friend in question here, because I've been thinking about him all day.

I do not know what "the amulet" is. I have no idea what "the amulet" is referring to.

I instantly remembered when he said that.

While we were all at the local park doing legal things that teenagers would do back in the late 2000s, my friend here found a rock at our old smoke spot that was unusually smooth and flat. He liked it so much that he took it to the woodwork classrooms at school, drilled a hole in it, and hung it on a necklace.

When we asked why he weanwearing this dinky-ass pebble on his neck, he claimed it prevented him from ever getting food-related illnesses: wouldn't get food poisoning, couldn't over-eat, was able to ingest anything (prior to him finding The Amulet, a few of us used to play a game called "Devil's Piss" where we would take turns shoving random food bits into a bottle of coke, and the first person to take a sip would get two dollars from the other players).

When we all asked him for the proof that this rock is magical—because nobody believed him, obviously—he said to meet him behind the History block at lunch, where he said he would drink two litres (or half a gallon) of milk in one go and not puke.

We met him there, and about ten of us all watched him down a whole bottle of strawberry milk in two or three breaths.

He didn't puke.

He jumped up and down and punched his stomach to prove it.

He still didn't puke.

I'm so glad I'm alive.