Asexuality and sex. Asexuality and if aces have sex. Asexuality and a sex drive, the spectrum of asexuality, the spectrum of different attitudes on sex… these are all important topics. I’ve written a lot about them already. I was driven to write them initially because my own experience didn’t fit what I read about and I couldn’t seem to find something that talked about the nuances. I found lots of people, but one collective source — I didn’t find that until later. I wanted to make one; I wanted to sort it out and write it down. So I did.
This is a quick read and I highly recommend it. What does it mean to be ace? How to we contextualize aceness? Are we doing each other a service by taking an almost voyeuristic lens to asexuality — evaluating each other’s identities by the deeply personal ways we do or don’t pursue pleasure? What are we losing by doing that? Things to think about.
To all acespec knights, this week belongs to you! I want you to know that you deserve to take space, to be recognized, and you deserve to be seen. This week is the ideal time to remember that asexuality is a valid and wonderful part of our world - shout it loud and clear! And, above all, stay proud ⚔️💪
I’m going to use this as my explanation from now on!
ALT
[Image ID: The first image is of a tweet that says “just saw a chinese source describe asexuality as ‘those who are immune to the sexual attractiveness of others.’ that’s pretty badass.”
The second image is of the Garfield “You are not immune to propaganda” meme that has been edited to say “I am immune to the sexual attractiveness of others.” The asexual pride flag is overlayed on the image. End ID.]
Your allowed to try out ace and aro labels even if you’re not sure if you’re going to stick with them or not. It’s OK to try on a label to see if it fits, and if it doesn’t it’s OK to let it go.
Week 2 of Pride Month means that we are covering various identities under the aspec umbrella! We are covering some of the more popular ones, but this is in no way reflective of all the ace-spec and aro-spec microlabels that are out there, and definitely is not a statement as to which are more valid or important (they are all equally valid and important!). Today we are starting with demiromantic and demisexual.
If you’d like to learn more about microlabels than what we can fit onto social media-friendly graphics, we recommend checking out our website, where we have a Spectrum 101 resource (https://taaap.org/learn/spectrum-101/). We have many more resources coming to our site this Pride Month, so stay tuned!
If you don’t see your flag, dont worry! I plan on drawing more!! (Genderfluid, Agender, and genderqueer are next on the list! And feel free to suggest some in the replies!)
I find your answer to that anon kind of reductive. My partner of many years is aroflux and because of this, our relationship genuinely is not romantic from her end at times. It’s genuinely not a problem for our interactions because we also happen to be best friends (from several years further back before beginning to date), but emotionally it can be unsettling at times to know that I am feeling unreciprocated romantic love within my relationship. This is upsetting to people in relationships between two alloromantic people who grow apart or have problems, as well.
The only two options aren’t ‘the person is aro and 100% romance-repulsed and wants nothing to do with any form of relationship’ and ‘the person is aro-spec, but is feeling the same kind, amount, and duration of love as their allo partner’. It is entirely possible to date a romance-positive aro-spec person who sometimes (or always!) feels absolutely no romantic feelings.
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I understand your point, anon. I’m well aware that the aro experience is more diverse and colorful than I could ever hope to explain in one ask. It was for the sake of simplicity that I phrased it the way I did — I find that getting down into the nuanced details in the early stages of educating someone is often unproductive. Start simple, risk some reductiveness, but hopefully leave them taking more away from the interaction.
But even then, I’m well aware that I’m less equipped to tackle aro things than I am ace things! I am an ace blog after all. I too am still always learning. I will be thinking of better ways to respond to asks like those in the future.
ALT
