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Seb

@actually18pigeons

Main blog. He/Him. 23. Knitting. Theatre Tech. Art History. Other Shenanigans

Okay not only is this a bop but it single handedly raised my self confidence

My 2 year old is OBSESSED with this song. When we first started listening to it they loved it, and then began requesting it by name. Except we never told them the name of the song, because it's called Hot Shit and we didn't want a baby demanding, "Mama, Hot Shit!!!"

So they made up their own name, based on a toddler's understanding of the lyrics:

"Mama, can we listen to

Rocketship?

I used the phrase "waiting on tenterhooks" and then thought "what the hell is a tenterhook".

It's these things! So when you're waiting on tenterhooks, you're stretched tight like a piece of cloth. Very evocative, now that I know what it means.

like 40% of english idioms are just Textiles Again

a (tumultuous) new year

been having a lot of emotions about the new year and everything going on in the world and the idea that i am stuck (i am literally 23 but my brain is like you're practically in the grave) and my personal life. you have to remind yourself that it is never too late to start. a new year can start any day.

diario, rosa chacel | @/christmas-winter | “cutting broccoli”, tishani doshi | i saw the tv glow, dir. jane schoenbrun | “the child formerly known as ________”, cameron awkward-rich | lights, boris zadvytsky | diary of anaïs nin | precious adams as “first sylph”, photo. marilyn kingwill | “equinox”, audre lorde

fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho

this book about nature and queerness: "...this was the part of my life cycle where I, a caterpillar, entered cellular reprogramming..."

me (affectionate):

(grabs you by the shoulders) you have to make room for new experiences in your life. you have to go through the unpleasant work of leaving your comfort zone, even if just for a few minutes at a time. because if you don't, your brain will trick you into stagnation. you will start to believe that the world can barely fit you in it. but that's not true. it's the opposite way around. you can fit the whole word inside of you. your task is only this: to welcome it with open arms

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