simple asks to help bolster ask culture again

You make soup in a big bowl. You serve it in a smaller bowl. And then you convey it, using a spoon, to your mouth. But what is the spoon? Simply a smaller bowl still

"Like a little soup bowl on a stick!" -Jeff, American Dad

It feels almost unbelievable that there's an Olympics this year. Not just this year but next month. Like can you please come back another time thanks

At least they're in Italy though

*sandwich voice* the world is vast and beautiful and i have a sandwich

*wiggles fingers* balicazam!! Your sandwich is now yarn

idk what you did and normally i wouldn't complain but my sandwich has straight up vanished as if by dark magic

im not even joking my sandwich is gone and i am fucking pissed

motherFUCKER i bet i lost it on the railway tracks

ok im on a train right now. so what happened is I was rushing with my precariously-stacked luggage with my sandwich on the top. and unfortunately it was a vertical sandwich (baguette) and i didn't tie the plastic baggie shut. fucker slid right out of its wrapper

somewhere in this train station is a single perfect naked sandwich lying peaceably on the ground

MOTHERFUCKER I WAS RIGHT i lost it wheeling my luggage (jostling) across the tracks. i can see it from the fucking window. it's just sitting there, taunting me

the train leaves in 5 min, I'm already in my seat, and as stated the sandwich is lying buttnaked on the train tracks.

i still kinda wanna run and get it tho

hey op are you still alive

sorry i was busy staring out a train window. yeah got my sammich

yes i risked missing my train for a dirt sandwich, and paused to take a tumblr photo of said sammy. my decision-making skills are extensive and highly-developed.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a sandwich to eat.

There’s a new lady at my work and I’ve been left alone to show her the ropes and in the dead silence I searched desperately for appropriate small talk and started with “so… did you grow up in the area?”

This woman has a Spanish accent thicker than a pound cake

We are in British Columbia

Today we were going over how to interact with people while in uniform and she asked me “what is ‘no cussing’?” and instead of saying “swearing, cursing, profanity, rude language” I blanked and went uh. Like. Shit fuck dick ass bitch hell. While in uniform

That's called disadvantage, where you roll twice and pick the lower number

Her aura making me roll with disadvantage. White in uniform

Hey listen everybody the Prairieland case is a real "all hands on deck" type of situation. They're gonna hang these folks out to dry and use that as further precedent for making protesters disappear. It's fucked. Like I can't stress how important it is to get as many eyes on this as possible. Tell everybody and their grandma.

Like I know some of us has got friends with media connections and some of us has got like ten hundred bazillion followers and all that type of stuff. Use it for somethin.

(and plz actually reblog the linked posts instead of just reblogging this post)

Outside links to click on and repost:

Tunglr Dot Com posts to click on and reblog:

yeah

Please write to them too. They may not be able to respond but the support means a lot.

Due to a misunderstanding, the party ends up fighting The Ultimate Weevil

i think the wildest thing about small penis jokes amongst leftists is that the number 1 excuse you'll hear is "well i don't think its a bad thing, but they do, so that's why i said it!" and like. aside from the fact that that should never ever fly as an excuse (creating safety for intersex & trans people matters more than twisting a pericis man's internalized toxic masculinity for your own entertainment, which, it is absolutely for your entertainment & schadenfreude) its also like. lets think about the situation right. you heard a car revving really loudly & annoyingly outside, so you imagined that the person driving that car is 1. a man with a penis 2. has a small penis 3. is ashamed of his small penis 4. is channeling that shame about his small penis into revving his car's engine really loud. if you have found yourself in that situation you need to be a little more concerned with why your first thought when someone does something loud and annoying is to create this patriarchal penis fantasia instead of just going "wow what an asshole"

What they don’t tell you about speaking multiple languages is that your brain does not in fact have a box labeled Spanish and another one labeled German. Instead it has a box labeled “Not English” and sometimes when you’re talking or writing in one of the languages you speak it will just start pulling random words from that box.

I just wrote down “Tengo eine Katze” and then put my head in my hands

watched a native Spanish speaker do this with French and English today and I feel I must assure you that it filled me with pure delight. he was so embarrassed and apologetic and I was like "no no you're fine nbd" bc it would have been kind of weird and rude to detour in the middle of a software meeting to sparkle excessively about languages but in my heart I was like "oh my gosh you contain so many words!! I love this for you and also for me!!! it's so interesting which ones come naturally to you in which non native language you're so cool and interesting!!!!" and I hope next time you're feeling embarrassed about making a similar error you can imagine an internet friend thinking this at you very loudly,

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

OP the tags!!

whittled wolves

Marie Curie's notebooks are crazy once you think about it. They're so radioactive they have to be sealed in a lead box. Imagine a world where atomic theory is forgotten and a dude just goes "yea there's a book that details the secrets of the universe, the machinations of the creation of existence down to its barest essentials, but if you get close to it you fucking die. The more you read it the more your body slowly disassembles into mush." like wat excuse me

The only good white washing

You can also add color to the mix! All those quaint postcard-esque colorful European houses that tourists clamour to see? That's limewash babey!!!

And you can apply multiple coats a year if you want the color to be opaque faster :]

putting just one of these jokes in the tags instead of main reblog is a bold choice but all three?! get peer reviewed about it!

The idea of “but everyone knows that” needs to stop.

I saw a post about someone chiding Millennials for not knowing about JKRowlings transphobia, and asking how it is at all possible that people can exist in the world and the internet and, you know, not know.

Which I mean, I get. It is so present in so many of my online spaces that it seems astounding that someone could simply be ignorant! It feels impossible!

But let me tell you a story:

I went on a girls trip with a bunch of friends. All of us are rather incredibly liberal and all of us are incredibly online.

One girl would not stop talking about Harry Potter.

At one point, another girl asked her why she was ok with supporting it, and she had no real clue that JK Rowling was at all transphobic. She had heard that she likes to support Lesbian causes and thought “oh ok cool!” And that was it. She was AGOG with the news and rather horrified.

I must once again emphasize that she was an incredibly online person. She’s a foodie and a restaurant blogger.

Later in the trip we were picking restaurants and I suggested one I found on Google, and she gasped at me. Actually gasped, asking how I could ever be okay picking that one.

The shock must’ve been on my face, because she then told me all of the shitty things that restaurateur does. He abuses staff. Underpays them. Fires them on a whim. Is known for being one of the worst people to his employees in the entire restaurant business on this coast.

And she was so shocked I had never heard of this. Because in her mind, I was just as online as her. And in her online world, EVERYONE knew about this guy.

So I think the moral of this story is: always approach the other person with some empathy. Even online people, even people you think MUST know about how bad people are, may not have heard. It may truly be just them being on a different sphere of the internet than you.

So be gentle, be kind when letting people know they might not have heard about the cancellation of XYZ person. Don’t assume that everyone knows all the same info as you.

By all means, let them know so they can make informed decisions, but being kind will go a lot further than attacking them for some info they might not know yet.

straight up it should be illegal for a physical storefront not to accept physical currency, or for restaurants not to provide physical menus

One thing I really appreciate about Into the Spider-Verse that I don’t see people talk about very often is how competent they portray Peter B as.

Like, in any other movie, you’d have a similar character whose live has become a mess, and they’re sad and kinda pathetic to look at, and when the time comes for them to step up, they just sorta…flop. They’re held back by everything, and they just become incompetent.

But Peter B is different. Yeah, he’s a sad, lonely, middle-aged man who cries in the shower while wearing a spandex suit…

But despite all that…he’s still shown to be extremely good at being Spider-Man.

He escapes from being tied up while still holding a casual conversation

He takes down Miles in less than 10 seconds.

He strolls along the side of a building like it’s nothing.

And when you think about it, over the course of the movie, he kicks a LOT of ass. He’s a badass super hero, despite his flaws.

You ever notice how, when he puts on the mask, his gut sorta disappears? That’s too big of a detail to be an oversight. That’s intentional. I mean, in-universe, it doesn’t make too much sense, but to us, it’s meant to show that it’s not holding him back from being a hero.

He’s not held down by everything. Yeah, he’s a jaded, depressed, mid-life crisis Spider-Man. But he’s still Spider-Man.

They easily could’ve made Peter B sort of pathetic and had him be more of a hinderance than a help during battles. But they didn’t. And I feel like that was a really good way to pay respect to the character while still showing that he’s a heavily flawed individual.

Congrats to @bisexualbeowulf for having the absolute worst response to this post in the form of this tag