do you ever think about ilya and just go a little insane? I mean, that's the guy who won the stanley cup for his dead mother. he wears his mother's necklace. he keeps ginger ale in his fridge for shane. he play fights with svetlana. he got nervous when shane kissed him on the forehead after they had sex. he tried to combe back his hair back before opening the door for shane. he asked shane to stay. he made shane a tuna melt. he played with kids in the pool. he gets scared of loon noises. he cried when he told shane he loved him. he confessed his love in russian first. he checked the meaning of compatible to make sure he understood what it meant. he wanted to hold shane's hand at the beach. he devoured those spaghetti. he loves being shane's boyfriend. he loves being part of a family that actually loves him. he is so full of love!
every time ilya tells shane he loves him in russian | season 1
tonight I’m hurting my feelings thinking about how one of the first things Ilya says to shane after telling him about his mother’s suicide is I don’t want you to think she was weak. it kills me. shane’s obviously not sitting there judging ilya’s mother as weak! it’s so clear that ilya’s talking to someone else in that moment, speaking aloud the words he could never say to his father. ilya as a child in his father’s house, listening to his father lay into to his mother the way he does to ilya in sochi. too young and powerless to speak up for her or step in between them. you’re weak you’re contemptible you’re defective. how are you not ashamed? aghh it hurts my heart. the abandoned child still defending her memory. still guarding her from anyone who might judge her too harshly or try to pick her apart. she wasn’t weak. she was so funny and beautiful. I don’t want you to think she was weak.
"The kiss felt weird, and Shane realized it was because neither of them could stop smiling."
- Heated Rivalry, chapter 23
"They were both half crying as they kissed, their breath stuttering and their lips stretched into wide smiles. A terrible kiss in theory, but Ilya had never experienced one better."
- The Long Game, chapter 25
hollanov + smiling into kisses
hey remember when HR premiered and Jacob and the rest of us were double-taking when Hudson Williams freely informed Out magazine that in the auditions “Connor felt like he was going to pin me down and fuck me”
and now looking back it’s one of the most normal things Hudson Williams said the entire press tour
HEATED RIVALRY | ROOKIES (1.01)
there are three types of friends:
1. low maintenance
2. high maintenance
3. low/high maintenance where they pretend to be high/low maintenance but actually just talk to you when they need something from you OR if they want your presence to benefit them
(and somehow i just am a MAGNET for the last option.)




