Howdy! I have a Ko-Fi now!
rolling snake eyes is a bad thing. being a snake in the grass is a bad thing. being cold-blooded is a bad thing. the english language is so fucking hostile for snakes why do you hate us so bad
NOT TO MENTION snake oil salesmen are famously sketchy. why do you hate our oils
really funny character concept i will definitely be using some day: oil salesman who is a snake. introduced as a snake oil salesman
he's a painfully honest and sincere oil salesman. he's not selling miracle cures he's telling you exactly what it is. and what it is, is oil. he's got olive oil coconut oil corn oil. every kind of oil you can think of
the average person with bad taste can be into some extremely banal garbage but when you get close enough to someone with otherwise good taste that they start a recommendation by going off on a preamble about how they don't necessarily recommend it you know you're seconds away from hearing about some real torturously wretched dogshit
friend from work will have you watch a two hour movie where you can feel every second as it passes by, but enemployed movie mutual will put you on the kind of shit that feels like crawling on cobblestone until emaciated
people are reading this as the latter friend recommending dry, pretentious cinema. that's not the case. not that kind of situation. you're getting no enrichment out of this. I need you to understand they're making you watch Gooby because "it's kinda good"
Not to insert myself here but as someone who owns Ghost Rider 1 and 2 on DVD I do actually need everyone to watch it right now because in the second one a kid asks Nick Cage as Ghost Rider how he pees and Nick Cage says “it’s like a flamethrower” and then they hard cut to a CGI skeleton in full black moto leather pissing a jet of fire and then it does a shoulder check at the camera and nods like “hell yeah brother”
Fully derailing this post because I found a gif
I regret to inform you that doing drugs is no longer cool.
it’s kinda funny how if you are wealthy you can publicly do illegal drugs but we have tons of people incarcerated in hell prisons for getting caught with like a g
My favorite form of redemption arc is “I hate that I have morals now”
Like “I realized that I was in the wrong and now I will work hard to atone” is good and all, but “how dare you infect me with morals” will always be so much more entertaining
That moment the former baddie starts to walk away from some bad situation, almost gets out, and then just stops, curses, and turns around to go help?
*chef’s kiss* delicious
This one gets it
why do ducklings travel in such an obviously chain-lightning-able formation? are they stupid?
