Fun fact: if you, as an adult, tell miserable children that their youth is the best that life will ever be, and that it's all just downhill from there, there's a percentage of them who will hear this and think "well, I guess I better kill myself before that happens." And a certain percentage of those will proceed to do that and succeed.

Anyway what I'm saying is that any time you feel tempted to say that, you should instead consider shutting the fuck up. Just because you peaked at 16 doesn't mean anyone else did. Most peoples' lives get better than that.

“wait til you’re my age” well you’re making it less likely that i will

tmi doesn't exist to me. I love information

Princess omobait requests the maids stop calling her that and also on an unrelated note that they unlock the bathroom door Right Now

Princess omobait would like to remind her maids that she does not appreciate being denied any kind of throne, her discomfort has nothing to do with the fact that this specific throne is porcelain

Princess omobait is clarifying to her maids that she's refusing to drink from the chalice out of fear for poison, no other reason at all.

Princess omobait refuses to put on the grey sweatpants no matter how much the maids beg her to.

Princess omobait would like her maids to stop referring to her new and innovative take on the waltz as a "potty dance".

Princess omobait royally decrees that that is Not a leak, she just- ohfuckokfine it's a leak pleasepleaseplease can she go to the bathroom now she'll give the maids riches power anything just let her go now pleaaaa- oh dear.

Princess puddlepants dislikes this new nickname even more.

People are reblogging just the first post without the reblogs and they're all missing out

you, reading this. you're a creature now. reblog to creature your followers

the glasses pervert would like to suggest an addition to your current attire

*slowly holds up a pair of swimming goggles and gives a questioning look*

(clearly a little dissapointed) close enough i guess...

subs who use ":3" deserve to get used like fucktoys

something i hate about this site is that if someone blocks you, especially on moblie, it's nearly impossible to block them back, and completely impossible to report

and until you do so, they can still reblog your posts, harass you, send their followers after you, and false report you.

but you cant block them back. clicking their account makes tumblr say "oops our servers pooped themselves" and forces you back. it tries to pretend the blog doesn't exist.

the old system where it would load forever and not show you any posts was better, because at least you could block and report them

pro tip: if someone is harassing you but you're blocked, copy their url, go to the desktop or web version of tumblr, go to your blog settings, scroll down until you see the blocked accounts, and paste their url.

unfortunately, as far as i know, there is no way to report someone if they have you blocked. this is an absolute failure of internet safety and the devs should be held accountable. they know about this fault in their system yet they refuse to change it

until its fixed, use this as an advantage for yourself. block liberally. block bigots before they can block you. and if they have blocked you, take the long way and block them back

Benefits to the Mating Press

In conclusion, the mating press is excellent. Further research should be done, with me specifically.

sorry i got heart pupils when you were mean and perverted to me

if i simply keep up the supply of baked goods my boobs must get bigger

be careful my favorite mutual. if you keep reblogging my worst posts you may end up with some lovely little fingers down your throat.

2024 - health insurance ceo shot

2025 - charlie kirk shot

2026 - please please please please please

everybody stop putting lotus flowers in the tags I have horrible aim I am not the one you want

………… love u siken

oh, siken is out here spitting FACTS.

werewolf kennel

girl wearing a locked collar embossed with “KENNEL BITCH” who gets really jumpy and nervous every time she walks by the room all the werewolves are in