Ilya: this guy is cute, I should start a stationary bike race so he knows I want to get sweaty together
Ilya: that didn’t quite work. Maybe I should just give him the eye? While I tell him I hope he likes his new city?
Ilya: okay. But surely if I make him drink from my water bottle and brush his fingers when passing it over…?
Ilya: call him pretty. To his face. No way he can miss that
Ilya: desperate measures, I’ll have to tell him I orchestrated this whole ad campaign just so I could see him again
Ilya: WHAT IF I STARTED JERKING OFF IN THESE COMUNAL SHOWERS?










