the fact the new series of hypothetical isn’t allowed to talk about the pandemic just in case people forget it happened is genuinely the funniest thing i’ve ever heard
Watch me scheduling this to be re-reblogged in two years for obvious reasons that I might forget in that time.
And I was put in the seat instantly, of course. I said, “your honor, I can’t be a juror on a two week trial, I have opera rehearsal.” And she said, “opera huh, well, sing something for us.”
And I did. In a federal court of law, in front of the judge, 75 jurors, the lawyers and the fucking DEFENDANT, I sang o mio babbino caro.
YO I DIDNT EMBARRASS MYSELF IN FEDERAL COURT SO YALL CAN DOUBT ME.
I know a lot of opera singers, and singing a full-on aria in a court room with only a hint of provocation is EXACTLY what they would do.
I know a lot of judges, and demanding an impromptu opera solo on a whim is also something they would do.
(And also one of the main reasons you can be excused from jury duty is economic hardship–basically, it would cause you unreasonable financial damage. If you’re a professional singer, a two week gap in your rehearsal schedule could do that for sure.)
As a muso, I absolutely believe this. I’ve got my accordion out of my carry-on and played a tune when airport security couldn’t recognise its weird mass of levers. Singers and musicians are just Like That.
Accurate.
My friend got stopped at the Canadian border coming back into the US. Border patrol took one look at his tattoed, ear-gagued, mutton chop wearing, hipster self, and said “I don’t believe you’re an opera singer. Sing something for me.”
His wife immediately put down her knitting and plugged her ears, because Matt’s a contrabasso, and he does NOT sing quietly.
Every other booth along the border stop had a head poking out of it within twenty seconds. And they let them pass without further contest.
The unwillingness of some people to believe that literally anything remotely interesting happens in other people’s lives is truly astounding.
Can we all please just take a moment to appreciate that OP’s url is literally @melodramaticsoprano and yet she still was doubted?
tumblr is good bc i like following two people who wildly disagree about things and just watching them show up on my dash right next to each other with no way of knowing. they would hate each other if they interacted. but i’m the only thing connecting them, and it’s up to me whether they ever learn about about the enemy i’ve found for them. controlling destinies weaving the strings of fate etc
did i tell u guys i got into an argument on twitter bc i said foxes are dogs and someone tried to bring up their actual fuckin. classification or whatever and i just said “foxes are dogs cause they are fluffye” and they kept arguing with me. the entire time i was like “you will not survive the immigration to tumblr you are lucky we are not there right now”
This is especially funny because they aren’t even right. Foxes *ARE* dogs.
I think one of the most profound forms of love is “I’ll try that, for you. I may not like it, but I’ll try it.”
It’s a confused middle-aged man in a pottery class, whose daughter is helping him with his clay’s plasticity. It’s a kid scrunching up their brow while listening to their mom’s favorite music, trying to figure out why she likes it. It’s a girlfriend who says “Yes, I’ll go with you” and her girlfriend cheering and buying a second ticket for a con. It’s a friend half dragging another friend through an aquarium, the one being dragged laughing and calling out “Wait, wait, I know we’re here for the exhibit, but I haven’t been here! Slow down!”
It’s being willing to spend some of your time trying something new because it makes someone you love happy.
the bravest writers are the ones who make granny characters in scifi and fantasy solely for the sake of having grannies i think there needs to be more old ladies who Fight and Kill
not only because i like the concept of badass oldladies and the destruction of the concept that all girl characters have to be sexually appealing to the audience bc thats fucking annoying as shit, there is literally Nothing funnier than the concept of a granny with a massive sword or death laser. she pinches ur cheek lovingly and then saws someone in half. amazing
“your rent should be a third of your income” well wouldn’t that be nice. wouldn’t it. lower the rent pussy
Casual observation from someone old enough to remember: in the year 2000 financial advice was that rent should be no more than ¼ of your income.
Until the mid 80s, the advice was that if you must rent instead of owning, then that 20% of your monthly income (oh yes, only 20%) should include all your utilities too.
After all, rent costs more than a mortgage, so it should offer more too.
