slowly getting back into the things i love again. right now, that’s supernatural coming of age books, creating stories, and a bowl of coco pops with an ice cube in the middle…

i feel as if i’m pulled between two extremes. i either go bananas with binge eating beyond fullness or i panic over everything i consume. i want to be able to be intuitive… at least until new year’s, ill give myself the chance.

excerpt from a diary

is there anything more festive than getting three fillings on christmas eve?

thinking so many things recently. mostly aware of the feeling out of control… but i know right now, there are things i should remember hold more value to me than control. like family, rest, and making memories - and having the privilege of it all. even if it’s not guaranteed to last forever, i’m proud of myself for persevering just for now.

have devised a plan

i let my ex borrow my parents camera but never asked for it back after we broke up — it has been like 3 years … i really want that camera now but it would be excruciating to break no contact. i don’t know what to do… ʕ⁎̯͡⁎ʔ༄

a little ashamed i didn’t notice this plant was fake

i have to go to the doctors soon because my mum is worrying about me. i’m quite the control freak, so not knowing what they’ll tell me to do is weighing on me already. i just want things to stay the same