Louis painting 🚬
“no one’s ever mad at me unless they tell me so” is the best assumption i’ve ever made
sorry for tagwatching but you still have to act like they aren’t mad at you imo! bc it’s the mad person’s duty to make it known if they want anything changed. it is never anyone’s duty to be a mind reader.
If I am mad at someone and am remaining Quiet about it, it is because I Do Not Want them to know that I’m mad.
Please respect my boundaries and assume that I am Not mad.
If you’re worried that I am mad, consider the possibility that I am mad for reasons I know are stupid and do not want to make it your problem.
Ohhh that last addition opens my eyes in a big way, thank you.
hear me out. what if neil picked up the habit of junk journaling? i don't think it's too crazy to believe, considering the binder. i feel like after running for so long and having to erase parts of himself, he finally has the opportunity to remember. to choose. and so he starts collecting all these random little things to remind him of the moments he got to experience. of course, they all end up in a little notebook
the first (and last) time he and andrew went to the citema? yes, he has those tickets safely taped to the pages of his notebook, along with a small 'yes or no' written next to them. he doesn't remember much of the movie, but he remembers the way andrew held his hand in the dark and kissed him senseless afterwards
after andrew announced that he was quitting smoking, neil took his last pack and cut it into little pieces so that they would fit on the page
little postcards that jean sends him? The package of the first ever present he received from allison (a haircare product)? the receipt from that one time he went out with matt, and matt told him he was going to propose to dan? all safety stored in his notebook and tucked into the corner of his closet
he still has cutouts from numerous newspaper articles kevin has been in, but they are now accompanied by small messages and postcards from kevin himself
andrew knows about his habit and has often made little remarks or rolled his eyes when he saw him taking out the glue and scissors. despite that, though, andrew always remembers to save all the receipts, tickets, packages, anything that can fit into his pocket, really, and just quietly leaves them on neil's desk
Then he looks straight at Evander and there is something too bright and terrible in his eyes. "I want Hazelthorn. I've always wanted Hazelthorn."
“Soft”, Shane Hollander & Ilya Rozanov [Hudson Williams & Connor Storrie], Heated Rivalry
Jan, 2026