guy who invented whichever one of these came second: fuck it just call it a compass too. i’m so bad at naming things… fuck! i’m angry. fuck my life. i’m going for a walk
“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
I can’t speak for other social media webbed sites but I really enjoy how tumblr seems to just completely spin a wheel on whatever media is hot right now. Like yeah sometimes it’s a new show that’s big and actively coming out but also sometimes there will be a solid month where half my dash is Columbo memes. Defy authority. Get really into an book from the 1800s. Watch shows that haven’t aired in 40 years. Celebrate the anniversary of the Boston Molasses Flood. Become unmarketable
*sandwich voice* the world is vast and beautiful and i have a sandwich
*wiggles fingers* balicazam!! Your sandwich is now yarn
idk what you did and normally i wouldn’t complain but my sandwich has straight up vanished as if by dark magic
im not even joking my sandwich is gone and i am fucking pissed
motherFUCKER i bet i lost it on the railway tracks
ok im on a train right now. so what happened is I was rushing with my precariously-stacked luggage with my sandwich on the top. and unfortunately it was a vertical sandwich (baguette) and i didn’t tie the plastic baggie shut. fucker slid right out of its wrapper
somewhere in this train station is a single perfect naked sandwich lying peaceably on the ground
MOTHERFUCKER I WAS RIGHT i lost it wheeling my luggage (jostling) across the tracks. i can see it from the fucking window. it’s just sitting there, taunting me
the train leaves in 5 min, I’m already in my seat, and as stated the sandwich is lying buttnaked on the train tracks.
i still kinda wanna run and get it tho
fuck it im gonna
GOT MY FUCKEN SAMMICH
it’s always “gaud i thought you were doing a bit” and “gaud did you seriously risk missing a train & losing your luggage over a dirt sandwich” and “gaud don’t eat a sandwich off the ground.” never “how was the dirt sandwich, did you enjoy the dirt sandwich, was the dirt sandwich good???”
