this is a message to all babytrans. you may come across a subreddit or maybe even a 4chan board that is made up entirely of the most miserable trans people you’ve ever met. they have their own lingo borrowed straight from incel communities. but instead of being an incel where cishet men tell each other that women will never want to fuck them because of 2 mm of browbone, it’s trans women telling each other that they will never be a woman because of 2 mm of browbone. it’s trans men calling other trans men pooners for having a round face instead of a chiseled gigachad jawline. but they swear it’s not a toxic community because they’re all hiding under several layers of irony, so you can never really tell if someone is being serious. and it’s very important that you never visit these forums, even out of morbid curiosity
since this post is making rounds i feel like resharing this for no reason in particular
How I think I’m writing: Using eye contact, or lack thereof, to display emotions such as intimacy, shock, denial, or nervousness.
How I’m actually writing: She looked at me, and I looked away. I tried to look back, but she was already looking at the sky. “Look,” she sighs, looking back at me for a split second. “I don’t know how to say this.” We looked at each other and time stopped, but then she looked her lookers at something else to look at, looking tired.
i always convince myself i dont sound that weird and then i go out in the world and get involved in anything longer than transactional small talk and its like ohhh thats right ive only been hanging out with gay people who speak in riddles
This guy alone just filled my “live your life with passion” quota for the year.
Funniest thing is the quick “settle down mate” and the dip into the Australian accent as he gushes over how pretty it is.
Knowing herpetologists: literally every one of them under 40 was influenced by Steve Irwin. The Austrailian accent and repetition of Irwinesque phrases (what a beauty, look at the size of this fella) is involuntary but an important part of the snake catching ritual.
every single school teacher should get paid $300,000 a year minimum and ICE agents should all die simultaneously in agony. this is my congressional budget plan
Teachers have tried this and are amazed when their classes don’t go feral like in the book. It’s almost as if the book was supposed to be satire and not a treaty on the nature of humanity.
there’s a timeskip
THERE’S A TIMESKIP
THERE’S A TIMESKIP
THERE’S A TIMESKIP
after losing control of the signal fire there’s a FUCKING TIMESKIP and when the next chapter starts everyone’s hair is several inches longer and their clothes have rotted to shreds and they’re still just kind of chilling!!!!
IT TAKES THE TERRIBLE IMPERIALISM MIND-POISONED EXCESSIVELY BRITISH BOYS IN THE ACTUAL BOOK SEVERAL MONTHS TO COMMIT A SINGLE ACT OF INTENTIONAL VIOLENCE, EVEN THE ONE (1) CHILD WRITTEN AS AN ACTUAL SOCIOPATH
AND then when they DO turn on each other it is because
THERE’S AN UNSPECIFIED WORLD WAR HAPPENING
AND A PILOT’S CORPSE CRASH LANDS ON THE ISLAND POST-DOGFIGHT AND THE CHILDREN MISTAKE THE PARACHUTE FOR A MONSTER AND SPIRAL INTO PARANOIA
BECAUSE CHILDREN INHERIT THE LEGACY AND TRAUMA OF VIOLENCE FROM THE ADULTS WAGING WAR AROUND THEM
HURR DURR IN THE REAL WORLD IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN LIKE IN LORD OF THE FLIES -
IT DIDN’T HAPPEN THAT WAY IN LORD OF THE FLIES EITHER YOU JUST HAVEN’T READ IT SINCE HIGH SCHOOL IF EVER AND DON’T REMEMBER WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN THE GODDAMN BOOK
yes. yes he did. i’m also gonna direct you to the real life ‘lord of the flies’ which occured in the 1960s, when six tongan schoolboys got stranded on a desert island for over a year before being rescued by an australian fisherman (who, it should be noted, later took on all six as crewmembers because the reason they were out in the first place was because they wanted to see the world, and named his ship the Ata after the island they were stranded on). nobody died. the only injuries that occurred were accidental, and when one of the boys broke his leg falling down a cliff, the others braced it and looked after him so well that it healed perfectly. if they argued, then they would literally go to opposite sides of the island until they’d cooled off. after leaving the island, they remained friends for the rest of their lives. here’s a photo of them as adults, with their rescuer (who is third from the left) and other members of his crew.
i read about this in rutger bregman’s human kind, a book i cannot recommend highly enough, but if you don’t want to go and read a whole book about the inherent goodness of humanity (which again, you really should) then the relevant excerpt can be found here.
probably no one else finds this funny and I’m driving away my friends a fraction of a percent at a time every time I do it, but I think the height of comedy is when you react to an emoji with the same emoji in a chat medium that permits this
literally
to escalate this, react with multiple versions of the same emote because nine different servers all have it available: