small things in life that are actually worth living for

Too much movement makes your joints hurt and too little movement also makes your joints hurt. This would imply that there's an optimal amount of movement that allows your joints to not hurt. This is a lie.

when I was like 14 I used to reblog these posts on here that were like "YOUR 20S ARE NOT AN IMAGINARY RACE YOURE DOING JUST FINE!!" just to be positive towards my older mutuals even though i didn't really get what they were about and I'd be in the tags like "#so true!! #everyone does things at their own pace!!" and now im 24 I'm thinking back to it and it's like Oh of course the imaginary race. Which im losing

in which I am both at the same time…somehow

mastering ancient breathing techniques in the mountains of china to control my heart rate finely enough to jam out a sick tune on the hospital’s heart monitor

this just in: hyper independent control freak gets off on the idea of being completely helpless and at someone's mercy

you know what? no. fuck you. fuck you *unfucks your elf*

I have nothing

someone just literally interrupted me mid conversation to tell me “what wonderful big dark eyes i’ve got” and on the one hand extremely flattering that she couldn’t even wait until the end of my sentence to comment on this, on the other hand did she have to say it like im the big bad wolf

[guy confused about lesbian relationship voice]: okay ... so which one only tells lies?

Taking up Japanese as a side project for myself has reminded me of something.

So like a long time ago I had a professor that I absolutely adored. She happened to be Japanese American. She grew up speaking Japanese at home but never really spent a lot of time in Japan. She mostly spoke with other Japanese Americans and read books.

So one day early in her teaching career there’s an exchange student from Japan who’s having a hard time understanding a concept so she explained it to him in Japanese and then he looked absolutely rattled. Like in shock. Pale.

This is how she learned that the way she speaks Japanese makes her sound like a gang member.

Japanese doesn’t exactly have cuss words in the same way as English does but imagine that the nicest professor you’ve ever had pulls your paper over and says “Okay listen here you little piece of shit I’m gonna fucking explain this to you. Violently.”

"I CANT HANDLE THIS" *handles this*

"I CANT TAKE ANOTHER DAY" *takes another day*

*sends out email I've been putting off* ah finally :). ah that's a weight off my shoulders :). ah I can relax an-- *receives response to email* what the fuck. what the fuck. what the fuckkkk

God I want like. A full body massage. A team of dermatologists acting like an f1 pit crew to destroy my bad skin issues. 3 days in a jacuzzi. Another full body massage. Put onto a medieval torture rack and stretched until it fixes me idk I feel like it'd do wonders for my hips

It doesn’t matter if you’re gay, weird or stupid. You matter.

what happens if im all 3?

All three??

Really?