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I am Normal about spiders

@arachnomechanical

22 transfem blog is under construction. I'm not a bot

hate hate hate how sites are increasingly trying to make right click saving images impossible. facebook, instagram, reddit (app), pinterest*, etc... all make you jump through hoops just to save an image. can you guys not please. how ddo i make them stop. can we get one of those EU regulations or whatever that makes them all comply, or are we going to have to wait for global socialism for that. ugh

oh look, the exact tool that would have saved me SO much time and energy trying to find images hidden in the source code 🙃

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starlingsongs-deactivated201608

When trans women are mocked and made into jokes in the media, I get very upset, and I am often told “Kay, you can’t go through life getting offended every time someone makes a joke.” And I sputter and object but they don’t hear me. So I want to be clear for once, about why the jokes make me angry.

I learned to hate myself for being transgender before I knew I was transgender. I laughed at the jokes in stand up comedy routines, and prime time sitcoms, and animated comedy shows, and in the movies, and in books, and in games, laughing at trans women for existing, about “men in dresses”, about people who “got their dicks chopped off”, and I learned to think that was worthy of ridicule.

And then a day came when I felt a pang of envy at what my female classmates were wearing and I repressed it, and felt guilty, and a day where I felt incomplete because I had no breasts and I repressed it and I felt disgusting And a day when I realized the only images of romance that made me feel anything showed two women together and I repressed it and I felt like a monster And a day when I realized I felt sick when I looked at myself in the mirror after every shower before work and couldn’t bear to look at my own face, and I hated myself. And then there came a day when I hated myself so much, and I thought I could never understand why, and so I just wanted it all to end. And it was just a miracle that I swerved my car back into my lane in time.

And all of it started with a joke that I heard on TV, and then kept hearing from all the voices from the ether, over and over and over, worming an idea into my mind before I was old enough to realize I was absorbing it, the idea that a man in a dress is funny, and that changing your body parts makes you a freak, and that women who have penises instead of vaginas are liars and hurt men. And they’re still making these jokes. And somewhere out there right now, just like all those years ago, there is a little girl in a t-shirt and cargo shorts with buzzed off hair watching the TV, hearing that joke and absorbing it without knowing it, who will someday have to pry herself apart to tear it out of her head, just like I did.

That is, if she doesn’t kill herself first.

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starlingsongs

I know this is a really heavy post but if you read it and you appreciated it, I’d appreciate it in return if you reblogged it. This is really important to me and I want people to read it and understand it. Thank you.

I just got out of the mental hospital following a suicide attempt and still have no way to make money, and I'm very scared and things are really uncertain right now and I desperately need money for more time at the motel im staying at so I can have time to try to figure out a plan for the future which would become significantly harder if I were to end up homeless

So please, if you can donate, please send money to my money apps in my linktree

I need 250 dollars for another week here so it's not a crazy amount but I have no way to get that money and I need it before the 15th

If you can't donate, please reblog so it gets seen more, liking won't push the post and it'll just get lost in the sea of posts on here

Please yall I'm desperate

Transfeminism isnt niche internet discourse if the FBI is telling a transfeminist author to stop publishing

Deadass people need to act on this

Feel free to link your kofi and your writings here, this post has gotten way more attention than I anticipated and it should be spent on supporting you.

And read my articles at: substack://share-url?url=https://substack.com/@bundleofstyxx&r=6jb0qs&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=profile&shareImageVariant=image

Reblog this version and support Tara!!!

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