Some thoughts about the attachment to a fandom
Content Warning:
This blog talks about the fandoms about works of Neil Gaiman and J K Rowling.
With regards to the Neil Gaiman allegations, I have read over here on Reddit how some fans are so attached to the show Good Omens they prioritize it over Gaiman’s victims. As in, they desperately want season 3 to happen, at any cost.
And this got me thinking. A fandom object can do a lot for people: Help them through a difficult time in their life, provide them with some comfort in desperate times. I’ve been there myself.
But ultimately, this can get unhealthy. After all, please remember: it’s fiction. All the characters are fictional. The victims of Gaiman are real people. The fandom object is entertainment. It’s escapism.
And it is not there to solve the problems of your everyday life.
In some spiritual communities, there is the phenomenon of „spiritual bypassing“. This means among other things that you try to avoid your everyday problems, trouble, conflicts etc. by escaping into spiritual practices and ideas. And as you can guess, this doesn’t help in the long run.
And the escapism into fantasy worlds and other stories is basically very similar to this phenomenon. Yes, fandoms objects can offer you moments of peace, of excitement, of joy. But if your happiness or even your sanity depends solely on a piece of fiction, better try and find something – or someone – else. Do not only rely on a movie, a franchise, a show, a book series, a game or other forms of entertainment to get you through life.
Because if these products of fiction suddenly get spoiled for instance by allegations like the ones against Neil Gaiman, or the horrible behaviour of J K Rowling or (insert other problematic artists here) … you might become desperate beyond measure.
So here are some suggestions to avoid this.
Find some other sources of comfort. Here are some examples:
- A hobby of any kind which doesn’t depend on a fandom.
- If you can, try sports or fitness, for instance Yoga, jogging, swimming or maybe a team sport.
- Take walks around your neighbourhood.
- If it’s possible for you, get yourself some house plants or a pet to take care of daily.
- Try to find friends or acquaintances who are not in a fandom (or are just casual fans).
- If you like it and it is possible for you, engage with a local community or a community based on a shared interest, for instance for queer folks.
- If you like being online, find like-minded people in online spaces which are not related to a fandom.
If you feel like you cannot or won’t let go of the fandom …
- Whatever you do, do not get a fandom tattoo. You might deeply regret this.
- Instead of buying official merch, buy fanart by fan artists. Instead of buying new books, DVDs etc, buy the material second-hand. Thus, you do not give the creators more money.
- If you like fanfiction, read it or write it, or both. If you write fanfiction, you could even write about the topics that have arisen around a problematic artist. For instance Harry Potter fanfiction with positively and authentically represented trans characters or Good Omens fanfiction that discusses SA or consent (No kidding, I have written a headcanon about this, here).
- Talk about the allegations against the creators, their behaviour and that you do not support them. Keep that conversation going.
- In case of Rowling, many fans of the Wizarding World, Harry Potter etc. openly show their support for trans people for instance with trans pride pins or buttons, shirts or other items. With this, they express that they do not support the anti-trans attitude and ideas of Rowling.
If you have any additional ideas, feel free to reblog this and add yours.