hudson williams nominating connor storrie for ASS OF THE FUCKING CENTURY and connor getting happy af about it 😭💜

Underrated Roach trait: suffering no fools when the floor is opened for questions. Like so:

And so:

Once I was doing fieldwork with someone from Europe and said “careful, there’s a rattlesnake over there.” And she rushed over like I’d said there was a quetzal.

I said “Ma’am please, we’re three hours from a hospital!” and she said

1.) I don’t understand how that can be

2.) But I’ve never done fieldwork from a car before (!!!) so I’ll take your word for it.

3.) Did you just call me ma’am? Like a cowboy?

We drove through the Los Angeles megacity together — and at one point were stuck in traffic.

“Heeeey”, she said, like someone gently broaching a topic I should have noticed, “Why does the lane next to us have diamond shaped symbols on it?”

That is! A subtle and friendly way of asking why we’re sitting in traffic when there’s a carpool lane Right There! I laughed and pulled into the lane and started driving.

Unfortunately. That isn’t what she was implying, she was genuinely asking. So we were stuck in traffic, she asked about what was clearly a breakdown or emergency access lane, and I laughed and started driving in it. She was Alarmed.

“Hello! Excuse me! We can’t drive in this lane! No one else is driving in this lane!!”

“Oh! I should have said — this lane is for people with more than one person in their car.”

“That is RIDICULOUS. You are lying. You are lying about what this lane is for and we’ll get arrested! (ma’am it’s fine but if it weren’t it would be more of a “ticket” situation) we’ll get a “ticket”! (Ma’am again it’s fine but were it not I alone would get the ticket) because that IS NOT the purpose of this lane. That is a RIDICULOUS lie.”

“I’m sorry, I should have said — I thought you were being subtle about my oversight. Please observe the carpool sign.”

“I don’t know what a carpool is and I don’t believe you.”

“How about you look at all the cars stuck in traffic and see how many have more than one driver, and if there are at least five I’ll get back into the traffic jam.”

“FINE!”

<a pause>

(With dawning horror) “none of these cars have more than one person in them.”

“I know.”

“None of these cars have more than one person!!”

“If you weren’t here I’d be right there with them.”

“OK but there was no train to where we needed to go.”

“There’s no train to where they needed to go either.”

“HOW.”

Later that day:

“I know McDonalds and Burger King sell Burgers, but what does Wendy’s sell?”

“Burgers”

“And Sonic?”

“Burgers.”

“Jack in the Box?”

“Burgers.”

“In’n’Out?”

“Look, It’s burgers all the way down.”

She hopped off a plane, went camping on Catalina with her husband and his lab, and then I showed her a rattlesnake, dragged her through heavy brush, took her (food) shopping in Beverly Hills, illustrated American car dependency and love of burger, and threatened to shoot someone trying to break into our hotel room. (I did not have a gun) She speed-ran the US American experience in eight days.

I really haven’t had to pretend to have a gun that many times!

We were staying in a cheap hotel, she was coming out of the shower wrapped in a towel. Someone shoulder-slammed the hotel door and popped the lock open and started fumbling with the security chain. I snarled “GET AWAY FROM THE DOOR, I HAVE A GUN.” and the person left.

She was WAY way WAY more concerned about me traveling with a gun (ma’am I do not have a gun) why would I SAY I had a gun if I couldn’t back it up? (Ma’am to get him to stop trying to break in) But why would he THINK I had a gun? How would that even work? Please tell her where I keep the gun. (Ma’am I promise there is no gun.)

The debate continued through my call to the front desk and our packing and being protectively escorted to our car by a young man who I could absolutely take in a fight. (“What is she mad about?” “I told the guy I had a gun.” “Smart! Maybe you should get one if you’re gonna travel like this!” “Haha yeah” “So why is she mad?” “She thinks I have a gun.” “WHY WOULD SHE LIE ABOUT HAVING A GUN?!?!”)

It doesn’t help that my day to day commitment to the bit is HIGH so it’s reasonable to assume that I’m not always being totally honest.

I really haven’t

had to pretend to have a

gun that many times!

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[image ID: TikTok comment by Spedubopy: I once had a german bouncer look at my pre transition-ID and then back at me and just go "ja das ist an improvement" /end ID]

After I came out as an adult to my childhood best friend, he went back to his family and told them and then when we next spoke he said, ‘we’ve decided this is a good move for you.’

#dirty minds worldwide

I'm on some kind of gayass journey

change does not come from a place of comfort

I find pennies and nickels in my couch all the time, so I don’t know what you are talking about

Excluding the crucial fact that office jobs pay you an income….if staying home to raise children and do chores and bake bread was really so much easier and more joyful than working in an office on some objective level, why aren’t men doing it? Why aren’t they chomping at the bit to be ~leisurely house husbands~ to a working wife? Why aren’t they stepping up to depend solely on someone else’s income in exchange for round-the-clock domestic labor, if it’s really as blissful and their propaganda suggests? Curious.

Thank you! This is such an important reminder.

"I didn’t plan on tennis being my addiction, but I’m glad I found it because it’s my only way of really being able to decompress." — Shawn Hatosy x

why are we forgetting that fanfic writers write whatever they want to read because they write for themselves and are just kind enough to share their hours of hard work with us to read for free?

don’t like something? don’t read them

realizing you don’t like what you’re reading? click that back button

not understanding why there are so many fics about x and not enough about y? read the beginning of this post, “fanfic writers write whatever they want to read because they write for themselves”

wanting more fics about y? then you write fics about that thing you want to read for yourself the way others write fanfics about things they want to read for themselves. that’s the point of fanfiction

fandoms become more toxic when we think we have the right to shit on fanfic writers just because what they write for themselves isn’t to our personal liking. so here’s the thing, it’s not to your liking because they didn’t write it for you.

Fanfics with shitty English are valuable.

Fanfics with the weirdest tropes or pairings are valuable.

"No beta" fanfics are valuable.

Artistic outlets save lives.

Never stop writting.

a funny thing about having a Problematic Blorbo is that you'll periodically come across a post along the lines of "um let's not forget that [Blorbo] is a bad person..." listing their various crimes, and if you have a modicum of intellectual honesty you find yourself nodding along and saying yeah it's true... but it's the greyness of their character that makes them so compelling... At the same time though you have a little Saul Goodman in your ear going "your honor in their defense: who cares like omfgggg who caresssssss like come onnnnnn"

blow it up and read, this is hilarious