but also OUUUUUCCCCCHHHHHHHIIIIEEEEE

cut myself on the same finger while trying to cut a bagel…. idk how to romanticize this one guys

you have to fuck the bagel now

i have to fuck the bagel.

How do you say "game over for my life for real" in Japanese

only valid tag on this so far

Quick and absolutely non-comprehensive field guide of Christian breeds:

Roman Catholic: Oldest version and the one pretty much everyone else split off from. Ornate churches, elaborate vestments, formalized and ritualistic service. Very hierarchal and patriarchal; Pope is head of the church and all clergy are male and celibate. Most, but not all Christian monastic orders are Roman Catholic. Primary ranges: Italy, Spain, Portugal, France, Ireland, and places with strong colonialist/immigration ties to the above (especially Latin and South America).

Eastern Orthodox: Split from the Roman Catholics during the 12th century. Churches tend to be more dome based, icons are everywhere. Less centralized than Catholic church. Male priests, may be married or unmarried but usually depicted with thick beards and either very fancy robes and crowns or black robes with a black hat and veil. Primary ranges: Russia, Greece, eastern Europe.

Anglican/Episcopal: Split from the Roman Catholics when Henry VIII wanted a divorce. Sometimes called "Catholic Lite" because "high church" vibes are very Catholic at first glance (notable differences: less emphasis on saints/Virgin Mary, lots of references to people in Oxford and Canturbury, priests who may be married, female, and/or openly queer). Monarch of England is nominal head of church (except for Episcopals, who are what American Anglicans became when they didn't like the whole king business), but like most things with the monarchy it's an empty title and the Bishop of Canterbury is generally regarded as the official head honcho. Primary ranges: United Kingdom, US, Canada, former British Empire areas.

Lutheran: Split from the Roman Catholics when Martin Luther didn't like forgiveness of sins being a pay-to-play deal. Generally more minimalist in look than Catholic or Anglican. Wide range of subgroups including Evangelical (generally moderate to progressive), Missouri Synod (conservative) and Wisconsin Synod (extremely conservative). American Lutherans have a reputation for extreme stoicism and throwing lots of potlucks. Primary ranges: Germany, Scandinavia, Midwestern US.

African-American: Churches of various denominations that minister primarily to Black Americans, because segregation was A Big Thing for much of the country's history. Usually depicted as having passionate, enthusiastic preaching with call-and-response ("Can I get an 'Amen'?" "AMEN!"), gospel choirs, and ladies in really fancy hats. Primary ranges: Black communities throughout the US.

Latter-Day Saint/Mormon: Splinter group formed when a guy named Joseph Smith claimed to find a whole new part of the Bible. Famous for polygamy but nowadays this is limited to smaller fundamentalist sects. Aggressive missionary work; being approached by young men in black pants and white button up shirts calling themselves "Elder (Name)" is inevitable anywhere around a Mormon ward. Very conservative; EXTREMELY white. Primary ranges: Utah and Idaho, with a smaller but still distinct presence in other western US states.

Evangelical American: Loose organization of non-denominational churches with strong social and political presence. Primarily responsible for 98% of the "faith-based" media made in the last thirty or so years. Typically found in large mega-churches, converted anchor stores in strip malls, and high school auditoriums. Very conservative and making that absolutely EVERYONE'S problem. Primary ranges: anywhere in the US where they're worried someone is learning evolution, feminism, or socialism.

"in this essay i would like to offer a way of reading pattern and textile history as political and ideological" sickos yes ha ha ha yes . jpeg

dropbox link to the PDF of the reading i just uploaded bc it's institution paywalled otherwise <3 let me know if you have any issues downloading it