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Average Cygnet

@averagecygnet-blog

i made this blog when i was 16 and now it's where i talk about mostly starkid and the underland chronicles. i am also theotherpacman.

can someone please just promise me that they won’t be mad if i kill myself please

i wouldnt be angry with you but i would be upset you were gone. you deserve a chance at life man. i dont want you to take that away from yourself.

Please take a look at my story.🇵🇸💔

!! My children and I are in great danger!! Dear, I know you are receiving a lot of messages, but I really need your help 😭😭😭

Hello, I am Hanan Mahmoud from Gaza and my children lost everything from our home, our work and our car💔💔💔 Donate 30 euros

I need to buy medicine for my children, expensive diapers and some treatments

Everything is expensive, food, medicine and all the necessities of life are expensive💔⁉️⁉️💔

We are suffering from severe famine in Gaza, there is no food or healthy water to drink, we live in very cold winter conditions, and we live under terrifying bombing 💔

Please help us, we have nothing but ourselves 🙏🙏

Please donate to us, your donation will make a difference to us 💔💔

Your donation will give us hope to continue living 🙏🙏🙏Your donation will contribute to rebuilding our lives and securing travel costs to get out of Gaza from Yes to protect my children ✅️ My number on the list has been verified by @gazavetters (#270) ✅️

@ibtisam @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @vakarians-babe @7amaspayrollmanager @fairuzfakhira @fallahsart @sayruq @humanvoreture @kaapstadgirly @sar-soor @dimonds456-art @plomegranate @commissions4aid-international @nabulsi @stil-macher @soon-palestine @communitythings @palestinegenocide @vakarians-babe @ghost-and-a-half @7amaspayrollmanager @kaapstadgirly @annoyingloudmicrowavecultist @feluka @marnota @toughknit @flower-tea-fairies @the-stray-liger @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @vivisection-gf @communistchameleon @troythecatfish @the-bastard-king @4ft10tvlandfangirl

What are some good beginner wants for someone just starting to get into desire?

This was said as a joke almost certainly and I accept that reading of it,

But I have Things To Say!!

So; beginner wants for someone just getting into desires.

The trick is to start small. Even smaller. The smallest. It has to be something you can do, that no-one is asking you to do, even implicitly. It cannot be success, cannot be love or fame, and cannot rely on luck.

Try wanting to see a sunset. Try wanting to feel the wind on your face. Try wanting to listen to a bird chirping, or to taste something you haven't tasted before, or to walk down a different path than usual. Then, when you feel ready, do it. Savor the feeling of having wanted something and gotten it.

A small choice, that impacts nothing except that you chose to do it.

Desire is a skill;

It can be learned, it can be practiced.

"doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith. do not give up the ground you have already won." is a thought-terminating cliche used to manipulate me since childhood. of course i have to doubt everything now. once you realize that everything you'd thought was infallibly true about the universe and yourself and your family and humanity and meaning and purpose and the divine was all a complete lie made up to exploit your loved ones for money..... how can you ever trust fuck all again. how can you believe literally anything. there is no worldview i can form that i can lean on as true without needing to doubt it over and over and over and over again. i can always be wrong. i can ALWAYS be wrong. and as much as that fear completely fucking consumes me i'd rather live like that than just be wrong without questioning it. again.

this shit makes me wish i was dead genuinely. i can't trust anything. there's nothing that i can believe without feeling like a bad person and an idiot just for ,, believing anything at all. literally anything at all. it doesnt seem there's an option besides putting an end to it. what is there? what action is there to take when nothing can be believed in? there isn't anything. i need to die. i need to be dead

anyway the guy who said that shit^ died yesterday. still suicidal but at least there's that <3

i never feel like i have any choice in anything at all. and i know it isnt true but it feels that way. like theres nothing i can do. theres just nothing i can do. if i try it doesnt matter. so i might as well just give up.

it's just that it seems like people seem to find the concept of "self" to be . graspable at all which is incomprehensible to the point of terror and total despair for me. wdym some of you know what that word means. no i know im just some guy but which one and why and what does it mean and there arent any answers just fear forever and sometimes people are scared enough of that to kill themselves and maybe im one of those guys

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