sex is so boring and passe but things that are metaphorically sex but weirder will never go out of style

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

WHAT THE FUCK IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE WHY DID SOMEONE REBLOG THIS

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

Then bring me luck

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

"A man has died, even if you didn't like him, have some empathy"

Mmm... how 'bout no

Something something vampires have no reflection so he can't even try to see his brother's face anymore when he looks into the mirror

Quick, everyone (only if you want to, no pressure)!

Let's put our phones down, take in a deep breath (as deep as you can), and exhale slowly! Let's drink some water and maybe open up our windows! Let's sit peacefully on our beds and close our eyes! Let's offer up a prayer to the gods (or a specific god) and tell them how much we love and appreciate them! Let's not log back into Tumblr until two days later!

Let's all take some time to decompress and find some love and comfort in the gods. 🧡

🪽💌🪽💌🪽💌🪽💌🪽💌🪽💌🪽💌🪽💌

Hello there! Yes, YOU! the little hellenist reading this post! Have you been wanting to start taking your worship of Hermes a little bit more seriously? Because I have, and I have just the thing for you! Hermes is a trickster, but also a very fun, very intelligent god who loves his followers, and is more than willing to grant his protection and deliverance unto them! Wether you’re a lawless little anarchist like me who seeks his protection from the not always fair side of the law, a traveller or wanderer who is looking for some shielding and luck on the road against the backdrop of a big, scary world, or simply a mail carrier who sees the king of mail himself as an idol to be followed, allow me to offer some ideas on how we can craft a little altar space for the hectic and honorable Hermes!

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• STEP ONE: colors and cloth:

When it comes to the domain of color, there’s actually a lot of mixed opinions when it comes to Hermes, as he’s one of the only Olympians whose sacred colors are not really divulged explicitly. Some say that red and green are the colors traditionally associated with him, but I feel like most devotees I know or follow seem to associate him with blue, yellow, and orange. Therefore, any cloth, a base fabric or cloth, the first thing you’ll add to your altar as the base everything else sits upon, would probably be best suited in this color scheme! You also may want your cloth to have more character, and it never hurts to have some symbolism on your fabric, which I’ll get to shorty! You can usually find cheap fabric at craft and thrift stores such as Johanns, Value village, or other local shops!

• STEP TWO: dishes and vessels:

The next thing you’ll want to add to your altar are some of the larger, more utilitarian pieces you wish to decorate with, these can include things like tarot decks, teacups or plates to hold offerings, offering bowls, candles, or books. It is also a good idea to select bowls, dishes, and teacups that line up with the iconography and sacred symbolism of the god the altar is dedicated to. For example, in my altar to Freyja, I have a small teacup with strawberries on it to honor her favorite fruit in Norse mythology! For Hermes, there are a couple different common icons you can look for, these include ironically, strawberries as well, as well as hawks, feathers, coins, gold trimmed and detailed, or gold painted pottery, String instruments, and the Greek key pattern!

• STEP THREE: Idols and tributes:

Another important way to respect your altar and it’s god is to decorate it with Idols of them, like statues, sketches, or other artworks depicting them! You can also donate tributary items to the altar, such as little figurines or charms of things associated with them, for example, my Artemis altar has a small porcelain cat figurine, and my Freya altar has a guilloche heart trinket. In an altar for Hermes, perhaps a statuette of a cherub with a lyre or harp, or a figurine of a mail carrier, or of one of Hermes sacred animals like a cow or ram, would make an appropriate idol for your altar space?

• STEP FOUR: traditional offerings:

Some traditional offerings like food, drink, crystals, herbs, flowers, etc. are an important, and very easy offer to make to your altars, and can easily be placed in the vessels and dishes you keep on the altar space. These offers vary drastically and personally on the god associated with them, but I’ll list some examples that I think would be good fits for Hermes below!

🌸 Crocus, Hydrangea, baby’s breath

🫚 olive oil, myrtle, sandalwood, Saffron

💎 citrine, blue lace agate, blue topaz, Aquamarine, Pyrite.

🍗 strawberries, olives, honey.

🍷beer, milk.

• STEP FIVE: ICONOGRAPHY:

The final step to creating your altar is the use of divine iconography. These symbols, emblems, and motifs celebrate your gods lore, history, and sacred things. You can honor this by finding things donning the iconography associated with your god! For example, almost all of my altars utilize antique painted porcelain or ceramics in some way, I have a porcelain sugar dish painted with strawberries for Aphrodite, a tea plate with wheat sheathes for Demeter, and an antique English teacup with Lilacs painted on it for Pan! Some of the sacred symbols and depictions of Hermes included, but are not limited to: strawberries, olives, lyres, sandals, mail and postage insignia, crocuses, rams, hawks, and coins! Depictions of all of these things on porcelain, pottery, fabric, or otherwise or on their own, are great ways to make clear your altar is dedicated to Hermes!

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Now that you have your very own space to worship and to commune with the hectic, humorous, and helpful Hermes, use it! Talk to him about your travels, bid on him to protect you from your hijinks, legal or otherwise, pray to him to guide your packages safely to you, and to guide you safely on your journeys! Enjoy your new altar space, and may lord Hermes bless you with riches, protection, and travels!

If you like this post, and wish to learn more about the gods of Hellen, Hellenism, paganism, and much more, please consider giving me a follow! I post every single day :) have a blessed day. 💙🏛️

🪽💌🪽💌🪽💌🪽💌🪽💌🪽💌🪽💌🪽💌

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Celebration of the Fourth Ritual

You will need...

How to perform the ritual...

1. Light the candle (and incense if you're using it)

2. Recite the Orphic Hymn to Hermes

Hear me, Hermes, messenger of Zeus, son of Maia;

almighty is your heart, O lord of the deceased and judge of contests;

gentle and clever, O Argeiphontes, you are a guide

whose sandals fly, and a man-loving prophet to mortals.

You are vigorous and you delight in exercise and in deceit;

interpreter of all, you are a profiteer who frees us of cares

and who holds in his hands the blameless tool of peace.

Lord of Korykos, blessed, helpful and skilled in words,

you assist in work, you are a friend of mortals in need,

and you wield the dreaded and respected weapon of speech.

Hear my prayer and grant a good end to a life

of industry, gracious talk, and mindfulness.

3. Present the offering/libation

4. Sit down and write! Some ideas include...

5. Recite the Orphic Hymn again

6. Extinguish the candle (either extinguish the incense or let it burn down the whole way)

If you're unable to write things down for any reason, simply thinking it is just as effective.

There's no pressure to share, but if you'd like to you're free to submit what you wrote in the ask box/submissions!

It's the fourth day of the fourth month - a time to celebrate Lord Hermes! Four is a sacred number for the god Hermes, and what day is better to celebrate him than the fourth day of the fourth month in the year? c:

Some things you can do to celebrate Lord Hermes today:

I hope you all have an absolutely lovely day! May Lord Hermes bless you with the best of luck today, if you wish him to. Praise be to Hermes! 🧡🪽🐏🐢

Being a pro censorship ao3 user is so insanely cringe. Either use the (incredibly effective and well designed) filtering system to avoid seeing the shit you don't like or stop complaining. Leave the pro censorship rhetoric to Wattpad or smth

Lord Ares give me the strength to be even meaner to people deserving of it