being annoyed and feeling evil and having to talk yourself down like easy there girl you’re alright

one time in trader joes I saw a deathknight wither a nectarine to straight up mildew and ash in their hands and then put it right back on the display

This looks like such a violent picture, but in reality I’m positioning my hand like I’m holding a hamburger and saying “smooooth smooth smooth smooth” as my cat forces her head through it

You make soup in a big bowl. You serve it in a smaller bowl. And then you convey it, using a spoon, to your mouth. But what is the spoon? Simply a smaller bowl still

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

OP the tags!!

Commission from @falloutfurret (posted with permission of course)!

Bonus Maud:

the classic roll onto side and sleep for two more hours trick - ill try it now!

i wake up and ten thousand years have passed. i dreamt of watching a light rain fall onto a stormy sea. theres nothing left of anything.

"youve already written that trope" yesss. i like it a lots. i will be writing it again. 1000 stories of the same trope over and over again for ten million years

joining the military to escape an abusive situation is like cramming yourself into a 400° oven to escape a house fire

boss... youre gonna wanna see this one (holds up drawing of a really epic awesome dragon)

It doesn’t matter if you’re gay, weird or stupid. You matter.

what happens if im all 3?

All three??

Really?

Crushing news: shrinkflation so bad the funny number has decreased from 69 to 67

love my pumpkin

scary my pumpkin

Whistleblower on Reddit rage-blogs about how the food delivery company he worked for as a developer is ripping customers AND drivers off.

Main post screenshotted here in case it gets yanked; the whole thread is worth a read.

Posted January 2026.

i’m pursuing a career as a pastry chef and i enjoy making sweets for the people i love. if one more person starts waxing hysterical about the dangers of sugar and fat and calories in response to me making something nice for them i’m gonna become a real life batman villain.

like they almost always DO want the sweet in question, so it’s not a matter of disliking the gift. but they feel the need to perform this whole display of guilt and shame about it. and it’s super awkward and uncomfortable.

it’s not black tar heroin. it’s a cookie. i made it with love. it will not kill you. if you don’t want it that’s perfectly okay. but at least have the same grace and manners you would if you were rejecting any other gift, alright?