OKAY THIS CAME UP ON MY ACTIVITY AGAIN. WHY WON’T YOU LET THIS POST DIE IT HAS BEEN 4 YEARS PLEASE

Someone find that post of that dude who gets stuck in an elevator cause that has this exact energy

@shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey

Exactly the same energy thank you my comrade

HI YES I ADORE THIS

I live for old posts that have been reblogged over a while

It has been 5 years leave this out of my activity

Hey @itsagifnotagif you ready for this to be brought into the 2020s?

LET ME BEEEEEEEE

This oddly resembles 2020….and the 7 days of 2021….

7 years, 800k notes. A lot of shame.

“Our dog is trying very hard to get our newly adopted Rottweiler to play.” 

(Source)

I have exactly 4 opinions on perfume, who wants to hear them

Hell yeah go off

thank you ❤️

love checking my ko-fi messages bc sometimes people call me “a foul lump of tepid jello whomst i adore,” and sometimes i get to learn stuff e.g. Pink Pearl Apples exist

they are apparently sweeter than honey and are crisper than any other apple.

“it’s all in your head” ah yes my head…my head the very center of my nervous system, my head which contains the most complicated organ in my body, my head the location of millions of chemical processes that control literally every other part of my anatomy, that head…

Why does this feel like a fusion of Kronk and Yzma?

scale of 1 to 10, how insensitive am i allowed to be about prince philip’s death? bc i have a joke i really want to make…

eh screw that jazz

Artist’s Rendition of the Death of Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh c. 2021

I assume my skeleton wandered off again to partake in midnight revelry with local forest witches, presumably dancing and shambling naked around a howling bonfire, because there is literally no other explanation for why I just woke up sore after eight hours of peaceful slumber

the Black dragonfish is like if someone designed an anime character to appeal to extreme monsterfuckers

i wanted to say “you will be punished” but i think you might exist as my punishment

When there’s only one cryopod

Is it just me or does it look like the demon tentacle mouth thingies form The Darkness games

normal halloween fantasy world w/ vampires & monsters & all that good jazz but the skeletons are just normal people who happen to be deceased but stuck around

like ghosts get the option to stay w/ their corpses instead of passing on so now everyone’s family is made up of like 3 living generations and your great-aunt Bernadine

sometimes family members die but decides to like. stick around. there’s a polite period of seclusion while their corpse goes through the decaying process, bc of hygiene reasons. then once the bits and pieces fall away you get a nice clean skeleton haunted by the un-aging spirit of a family member. and it’s not like they’re another mouth to feed, so they just spent their afterlife being passed around by relatives and offering free babysitting i guess

But, you know, you can technically speed up the decaying process. I could go feed a big ass murder of crows. And then have a nice bleach bath to get rid of the itty-bitty bits that got stuck. And then go to a bone engraver to get very unique designs, to make sure its hard to fake my identity. And also to be a really cool tattooed skeleton. I’d get back to my family after a week tops. The future grandchildren could color in my cool tattoos.

Fuck you, now I want to be a cool ghost skeleton. And I can’t. Fuck you

1. everything about this comment is good and right, catch me laying my skeleton out to feed the birds

2. i completely FORGOT bones could be CARVED, and for that i am shamed

gonna be the most badass skeleton babysitter 

if you were a bare skeleton anyway I bet you could just Meccano in spare bits of unoccupied bone wanna be a bone centaur? find an unhaunted horse skeleton & stretch your legs

art prompt: BONE CENTAUR

I know your whole shtick is cursed-content but I couldn’t help but make something a little wholesome. An elderly couple, Liam (the skeleton) and Rose (the little old lady). Liam passed away before Rose, but he chose to stick around and take care of her since they live alone.

oh my bleeding goodness i love it

ok i know we play this game a lot but you will GENIUNELY never guess what i found first thing in my inbox of horrors this morning

no you’re all wrong it was a cute photo of a baby sloth

can we have it?

Yes, yes u may

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses You might be very pleased to know that that image is specifically from a video made by the Sloth Sanctuary of Costa Rica where they show us what noises a sloth makes and that that video is even MORE adorable than just the picture:

one of my hearts just melted 🫀

How many do you have???

why don’t people claim to descend from the gods anymore? ignore one of your parents, claim a throne, become a hero. people are so boring nowadays.

my theory is the gods interbed w/ humans so often that now any & every human is technically a heavenly descendant and the gods stay in the heavens to avoid child support payments

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

i’m so angry that this makes sense and is backed up by canon....it’s true.....it’s all true......

fuck u *sucks the ink out of ur gel pens*

No! They’re glitter gel pens!!!

*makes eye contact while slurping up the last glittery drop*

stop buying books from amazon, audible, or other audio/book places. yes especially even audio books. please look at your local library, they have book and most libraries actually have an app where you can sign in with your library card and ‘check out’ audiobooks! (they get ‘returned’ automatically too!) 

yes its free, and yes library cards are free (this should go without saying but i have met people who thought otherwise!)

stop amazons monopoly on books and audiobook services! they shouldnt even be payed when we have so many great public resources like libraries <3  ps: if your library doesnt have a book you are looking for, check the catalogue in case there are other libraries in your district with it. if not, ask someone at the front desk and im sure they would be happy to put it on the “buy” list for you! ((yes, libraries will get specific books for you if you ask!)) 

I am once again here to remind people that authors often do not have a choice about whether to use Amazon.

Not every book can be acquired by a library, such as self-published books.

Amazon is bad, but I really need y'all to understand that many authors HAVE TO use Amazon in order to see ANY profits.

Authors are workers being exploited by Bezos, and when the choice is “buy this book through Amazon so that Bezos has to give this poor starving author some royalties” or “don’t buy this book at all,” sometimes buying books through Amazon is the best option.

Tl;dr, Amazon Bad, but please leave some nuance in there for exploited authors, thanks.

stop buying books from amazon, audible, or other audio/book places. yes especially even audio books. please look at your local library, they have book and most libraries actually have an app where you can sign in with your library card and ‘check out’ audiobooks! (they get ‘returned’ automatically too!) 

yes its free, and yes library cards are free (this should go without saying but i have met people who thought otherwise!)

stop amazons monopoly on books and audiobook services! they shouldnt even be payed when we have so many great public resources like libraries <3  ps: if your library doesnt have a book you are looking for, check the catalogue in case there are other libraries in your district with it. if not, ask someone at the front desk and im sure they would be happy to put it on the “buy” list for you! ((yes, libraries will get specific books for you if you ask!)) 

I am once again here to remind people that authors often do not have a choice about whether to use Amazon.

Not every book can be acquired by a library, such as self-published books.

Amazon is bad, but I really need y'all to understand that many authors HAVE TO use Amazon in order to see ANY profits.

Authors are workers being exploited by Bezos, and when the choice is “buy this book through Amazon so that Bezos has to give this poor starving author some royalties” or “don’t buy this book at all,” sometimes buying books through Amazon is the best option.

Tl;dr, Amazon Bad, but please leave some nuance in there for exploited authors, thanks.

I am going batshit actually

not for any reason it's just 12am so I've decided to run around the foyer in circles screaming a song to wake the dead from their petty slumbers and possibly tip over a waxen candle thus setting fire to the undeserving curtains all bc my enclosure doesn't provide adequate enrichment activities

i want. all of u to know this. was written specifically to shame a cat. i read her all the comments and she DOESN'T care, she is a monument of indifference the cat. is. a pillar of callousness bc. she has seen the entire breadth of existant sins & is already bored