Morticia: “So what is it you do for a living my dear?”

Evelyn: “We dig up dead people who often have monstrous curses placed on them!”

Morticia: “fascinating”

Gomez: *leaping out from behind a pillar which is encrusted with ominous looking runes* en garde!

Rick: *grabs sword from equally ominous looking wall full of weapons one of which seems to be glowing* fantastic I was getting a bit rusty

Gomez: *nearly in tears* oh he’s screaming nonsensically, what spirit! what reslove!

*Rick and Gomez, still frantically sword fighting*

Rick: Have I mentioned how wonderful my wife is yet, I really feel like I haven’t really expanded enough on how wonderful she is

Gomez: do go on, I would be delighted to hear about how wonderful your wife is, I strongly encourge all men to extoll the virtues of their wives with rapturous praise, however I should perhaps mention my wife is in fact better

*sword fighting intensifies as both men rapturously extoll the virtues of their wives*

Jonathan and Fester and Cousin Itt watch from the bar, where Lurch and Thing are making the drinks.

Jonathan and Thing knew one another from The War; each thought the other to be dead

Their reunion is highly emotional

Rick, whilst swordfighting:  My wife resurrected an ancient evil that brought about the plagues.

Gomez: What. A. Woman.

like were dogs even dogs yet or did someone manage to squeeze a particularly patient tamed wolf into a leather shirt and then howl with laughter as it trotted around the cooking fires dressed like Uncle Urg begging for food scraps

the wolf started running backwards in circles trying to get out of Uncle Urg’s shirt and everyone is laughing so hard that the sleeping children and young mothers and old folk wake and come out of their hide huts and observe First Funny Dog galloping around in the moonlight, and a tradition is born

There was a brief but decisive evolutionary bottleneck of canines that begrudgingly allowed homo-chimps to live after sticking them in a corset.

“Will you flush game for me, Wolf, when I go hunting the wild things beneath the trees?” asked Human.

“I will,” said Wolf, “If only you leave me the bones and scraps of meat from your kills.”

“That is well,” said Human. “And will you use your ears and eyes and nose to guard me while I rest, and warn me when lions prowl too near?”

“I will,” said Wolf, “If only you let me lie in the warmth of your cooking-fires.”

“But of course,” said Human. “And will you do as I command, and follow me wherever I go, and love my children and grandchildren as you would love your own?”

“I will,” said Wolf, “If only you scratch me where my claws cannot reach, and pet me, and heal my injuries when I am wounded.”

“Always,” said Human. “And will you let me dress you up in funny clothes, and dance around, and do little tricks for me to laugh at?”

Wolf hesitated, and eyed Human warily for some time, weighing its choices. “That depends,” it said. “Will you tell me I’m a good boy?”

Human smiled. “The goodest boy,” it said.

Dog wagged its tail, and Wolf was no more.

I’ve reblogged it before, and I’ll say it again: this prose is right up there with Kipling’s Just So Stories. A modern literary masterpiece. I feel compelled to make an illuminated manuscript of it.

i do not care if you personally think nobody should slaughter or eat animals, it is Going to happen anyway. you cannot be so obtuse thst you think making more plastic that causes pollution endless damage to the animals you claim to care about so much is better than omnivorous human beings eating other animals and using their bodies completely.

Also to note? Those farms where they target product is leather, like the alligator farms? They produce the by-product of meat. The corpus material of animals is valuable and in general is never wasted.

When buying leather, there’s a tier list of ‘how environmentally harmful is this’ and it’s important to note that even the worst ways of commercially tanning leather are less harmful than the plastic manufacturing process. But if you have the option to choose:

Brain tan is the best of the best and basically impossible to find because it’s a labor intensive process. But there is no better way to make soft, durable leather goods that will last for generations.

Biotan/Freetan/Chrome-free tanning, if you can find it, is next best - it’s kind of commercial brain tanning where the tanning agents used are various animal and plant extracts.

Veg tanning is where we get the word 'tannin’ from, and is a very ancient method right up there with brain tanning. It uses plant extracts exclusively and produces rugged, durable leather - not as soft as brain-tanned leather, which is more suited to garmets - it’s good for bags/shoes/straps/saddles/etc.

Chrome tanning is the commonest in industrial tanning and the least environmentally friendly - The process uses trivalent chromium (Cr III) which in small amounts is entirely safe (it’s in your multivitamin!) but in industrial amounts can damage watersheds and soil biomes. The process is also fairly water-use intensive. This is the process that makes the 'new leather’ smell that you’ll experience in a new car interior with real leather, or a lather jacket store. But even this, the least sustainable leather making practice, is WAY less environmentally impactful than the process of making plastic 'leather alternatives’

Leather is an excellent product that will biodegrade within a few years if exposed to the elements but will, if stored in a cool dry place with limited light and oxygen exposure, last for LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF YEARS.

my Ikea blue whale is going to create some problems for me and several of my neighbours

I honestly don't know what the consequences of a pusheen cat unicorn coming to life would be.

My cat #mycat

This is one, if not the best advice you'll ever get for knitting and life in general. Especially if you had carpel tunnel at a young age like me.

Weight lifting is a game changer, regardless of the weight you use. It might have been the reason why I could even consider restarting knitting again.

If 25 lbs isn't possible (spoilers, it still isn't for me), go lower, as low as you need to. I spent weeks being ashamed of using 3lbs for wrists specific exercices and 6lbs for other arm and hands exercices when everyone was talking about the 10-12-20lbs. That was until I realized how much those 3-6lbs were actually helping my wrists and improving my quality of life in general.

All that to say, if you can, at least try it. It might not be the most fun sport (would disagree a bit, but that's my personal opinion), but the result could surprise you.

Strength training in your hands and forearms is critically important for quality of life as you age. You can do this with the farmer's carry movement. Like OP said, Milk Jugs will do the trick if you don't have access to weights. Fill two home depot buckets with rocks/sand/gravel/water for heavier weight.

Study:

Study:

Carry things that require you to close your hand around a handle and hold it. Try walking and holding for several minutes each day.

I'm targeting 75% of my body weight while walking for 2 minutes, but I'm starting with about 20 pounds/hand because my grip is terrible. Go slow. Stay balanced.

CS Lewis had something to say about this

Been feeling a bit hopeless of late. Wasn't expecting to stumble across a quote that would fundamentally alter my perspective and make me cry during my lunch break but here we are

This is an excellent sentiment.

Nevertheless, we persisted :)