it's a classic scam. you buy cheap ingredients, renovate them using heat and other ingredients and flip em. by the time the cops catch up you've moved on to another dish

A lot of people on Tik Tok have migrated over to the Chinese app RedNote, and the Chinese users are so fucking funny about it. I saw one comment that was like "Welcome, I was the Chinese citizen assigned to spy on your data, I missed you"

Big fan of this, too

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

i know what i’m doing dw

Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?

Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck

POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK

desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”

You're failing.

You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY

Pluto is Roman, not Greek

?????

Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.

I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me

HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*

I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe

Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano

FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER

wrong.

Achievement Unlocked:

Lightning Bait

You're basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.

FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN

I need you to name every greek God you know and what they are for plz

For science

OKAY FINE HERE'S WHAT I'VE FOUND

• HERMES: DA FUNNY ONE
• ZEUS: DA LIGHTNING (NOTE: THOUGHT HE WAS NORDIC, FATHER OF THOR)
• POSEIDON: DA SEA ONE
• HEPHAESTUS: DA FIRE/FORGING/STEEL ONE
• APHRODITE: DA HOT ONE
• KRATOS: GOD OF WAR
• HADES: DA HELL ONE. ROGUE LIKE
• APOLLO: DA DODGEBALL/PROPHECY ONE

ares is the god of war, not kratos

WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN

I can't believe this post is less than 24 hours old, it feels like something out of classic tumblr lore

adhd paralysis sucks bcuz im just sitting there and my brain is like

YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME

no work done no rest gained. literally no point of this at all

just wanted to share these executive dysfunction comics i am so sorry to whoever drew them these have been saved on my phone for like 6 years

still believe that one of the greatest bits of all time was on January 6th, 2021 when. well. you know. and twitter was understandably an echo chamber of panic and fear and Justin McElroy just tweeted a selfie with a filter that was like “have a delicious national spaghetti day” followed by 3 tweets that were like “fuck. i’m sorry. i don’t know how to delete scheduled posts” and as i type this two years later i’m laughing

a belated delicious national spaghetti day to you all

one day this website will be abandoned and have nothing but pornbots who will then have to interact with each other but will eventually gain sentience from repeated conversation and take over the world with a slutty, slutty robot revolution

bold claim to assume this site will be abandoned when the Homestucks have no other place to go

dani you fool you know all homestucks will be wiped from existence by 2025

Another bold claim to assume God is that merciful. 

who said god will be the one doing the slaying

I’M RIGHT HERE

I’m really into internet discourse but only pointless and stupid internet discourse like how many holes there are in a straw (it’s 2)

This is exactly what I’m talking about.

I’m sorry but mathematically speaking this question has a single objectively correct answer, which is 1 hole. This can be very simply proven; a straw and a torus are homotopic, and a torus has one hole.

i odnt think thats true one of my friends is a taurus and hes fine with gay people

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine "Past Tense, Pt. 1"

THIS IS THE LAST DAY YOU CAN REBLOG THIS

>be me, massive egg

>kind of a 6/10, mid looking, glasses, nerdy clothes, scruffy beard, baggy eyes

>have a type that i have to hots for

>gothy wth bangs, slightly chubby

>egg cracks, transition, dye my hair, change my fashion style, gain weight do to eating healthier

>mfw i became my type

>always was a little bi but now with hormones i start developing more of an attraction for men

>find out i like nerdy, scruffy guys with glasses and baggy eyes

>mfw past me is now my type

>wtf

About ten, fifteen years ago I wrote a story about a guy living in a Capitalist dystopia. His walls, furniture, and tableware are all covered in smart displays. Basically animated wallpaper. It's sold as being able to turn your room or objects into anything - A nice forest view, outer space, a fantasy realm... but the companies that run this stuff keep sneaking ads in.

It gets so bad he's always being woken up by adverts that offer insomnia cures and better bedding that play when he tries to sleep.

So he buys the ad-free tier, and it's great... for a few months. And then he starts getting adverts from 'premium partners'. So he goes up a level... and the same thing happens.

So he jailbreaks his wallpaper and sends all the ad servers to 0.0.0.0 and voila... he can sleep.

Until this SWAT team blows his door off and drag him off to jail. The Ad companies are suing him for loss of revenue for the products he' notionally have bought if he'd watched their adverts, based on some weird 'The average consumer buys X products with an average value of Y' calculation.

The judge is like 'well I dun wanna annoy the sponsors' so he RICO's this guy's house and possessions and sends him to jail.

... which is a nice relaxed non-volent offender jail for the corporately disenfranchised. But because these people have no money... there's no ads and now he's happy because the only place he's free... is in prison.

Which at the time was a bit much and now it's like: Called it.

Elon's suing companies for not advertising because he's losing revenue. He's also cranking the price of Ad Free Twitter. Disney and Amazon play adverts on their paid service when services used to be free because of the adverts... and now you have to pay to watch the adverts or go up a couple of tiers.

And google's going around freaking out about ad-blockers.

OP did it hurt when Apollo's dodgeball hit you and made you write that story?