caustic-pixie:

going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi:

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who’s my best friend in the world and recently he was like “you’re too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!” and I was like “a niece might be more up my alley” and he just got more excited and said “ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful”

OP the tags!!

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asteroidtroglodyte:

kominfyrirkattarnef:

Have you guys noticed how much the internet/technology just does not listen to you anymore? I click “don’t show this artist” on Spotify and I get recommended a music video by them on the front page. I click “skip this update” on a pop up every time I open a file organization app and it’s right back there every time. O click unsubscribe on a newsletter and it keeps showing up in my inbox!! I click “delete my account” and the next time I open the website they suggest I “reactivate”.

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Power is a funny thing.

tarragonthedragon:

playing trivia games as a nonamerican introduces a real element of chaos because sometimes the super easy beginner questions are like what was the top selling brand of toilet paper in texarkana in 1972 and sometimes the hardest questions will be like oh no a super tricky one for you: what country are dutch people from?

lonelyroommp3:

someone just literally interrupted me mid conversation to tell me “what wonderful big dark eyes i’ve got” and on the one hand extremely flattering that she couldn’t even wait until the end of my sentence to comment on this, on the other hand did she have to say it like im the big bad wolf


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